


Hex

by Hormonal_Trashbag



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, He's a witch you're a witch are there any other witches I should know about?, Lactation, Lactation Kink, Past Violence, Phux side ship, Rey is a cat, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, Witchcraft, Witches, magical transformation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:24:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 58,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8718985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hormonal_Trashbag/pseuds/Hormonal_Trashbag
Summary: For a moment he assumed she was someone’s familiar, but there were few witches in the area. Kylo sincerely doubted any of them would be so cruel as to have their companion fend for themselves in the streets, especially when considering how small she was. Still, there was something undeniably clever about her. He sighed; either way, it was of no consequence to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been pestering me for awhile, and after some encouragement from my lovely beta, grlie-girl, I've decided to expand on it. There will be no foolish wand-waving (though silly incantations are probable) in this fic. ;) I'm not overly knowledgeable on witchcraft, so I'm just making this up as I go along. Hopefully it makes sense.

The first time Kylo saw her, she was challenging a murder of crows for rights to a trash heap. He leaned into a red brick wall as he gazed down the narrow alleyway in interest. She hissed and swatted at the birds with distended claws, narrowly avoiding their pecking beaks. Instantly, he sensed she was no ordinary tabby, and it had nothing to do with her daring, albeit foolhardy, fight with the crows.

 

For a moment he assumed she was someone’s familiar, but there were few witches in the area. Kylo sincerely doubted any of them would be so cruel as to have their companion fend for themselves in the streets, especially when considering how small she was. Still, there was something undeniably clever about her.

 

He sighed; either way, it was of no consequence to _him_. Kylo turned to leave the gray cat to her futile fight, pushing himself off the wall to return to the sidewalk, when a fat drop of rainwater burst on the round of his cheek, then another. He looked up to the overcast, Portland sky, frowning as he opened his umbrella. The clouds split open a moment later, dousing the earth with a sudden, torrential rain.

 

The murder took off, defeated by the weather more than the cat now sulking, drenched in the alleyway with little but the eaves high above to offer cover.

 

He had things to do, places to be, but…

 

Cursing to himself, he marched towards the cat. She growled when he approached too closely, but Kylo paid no heed and picked her up by the scruff of her neck. Dirty and now wet, she still was a pretty cat; attractive, bold stripes curling around her body. Unsurprisingly, she made a swipe at him, whining loudly as he brought her to eye level, and finally she met his gaze, pupils drawn to thin, furious slits.

 

Her irises were a vibrant, stunning hazel, and for a moment he couldn’t breathe.

 

_Put down. Put down. Put down!_ roared in his head as the tabby continued to struggle.

 

She wasn’t a cat at all. She was a human--or at least she used to be.

 

“What was your name before?” he asked, and at last she froze.

 

_Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey._

 

Her mind was fragmented, intelligent but flushed with animal instinct. She had been a cat for a long while, and he doubted there was much he could do to turn her back.

 

He nearly kicked himself as he told her, “Rey, I’m going to try to help you.”

 

Her gaze was untrusting but she didn’t resist as he carefully tucked her shaking form into the warmth of his peacoat.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo went directly into the bathroom once he reached home, shutting the door behind him to prevent any escape before releasing his coat. She leaped from his chest, frantically observing her surroundings and wailing at him when he knelt in front of the tub to draw a shallow bath.

 

“Don’t complain,” he muttered in response, “you’re absolutely filthy. I’m not letting you track dirt all over my house.”

 

Thankfully, she was reasonable enough to not scratch at him when he scooped her up off the floor. She trembled, angry and pathetic as she stood in the tub, warm water lapping at the fur of her belly.

 

Kylo huffed, scooping water with the palms of his hands to trickle it down her back. She arched at the sensation, her eyes narrowed in what could only be a glare.

 

“And don’t look at me like that,” he said.

 

She tipped her face away from him, and Kylo resisted the urge to laugh. She probably wouldn’t appreciate that.

 

Much to his satisfaction, she was smart enough to not hassle him as he gently rubbed her down with shampoo, nor when he rinsed the suds off and wiped her face with a washcloth. Ultimately, he was larger than she was and he’d win. The water was a murky brown when he yanked out the rubber stopper, and she jumped at the gurgling sound as it drained.

 

He was prepared for it, and had a towel stretched open to catch her with.

 

“Nice try,” he said, patting her with the towel.

 

Though she sat relatively still, she grumbled through the whole ordeal. When he finally lifted the towel away, she shook her muscles and shot him a resentful glance.

 

_MEAN._

 

Kylo couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled from his chest. Still, he opened the bathroom door and she darted out, paws quietly padding on hardwood floors as she rushed for freedom. He staggered to his feet, wondering what he should feed her. He didn’t have cat food, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave her unattended quite yet, but she was human, right? Even if she was used to picking through garbage, would she be offended if he got her kibble?

 

He grimaced, looking at his reflection in the mirror. Doing this was probably a mistake, but it wasn’t as if he could have left her on the street. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

His home was a one-story cottage with large windows and a spacious garden in the back. Even if he couldn’t return her to her original form, it would be a nicer place to live than on the streets. He didn’t want to admit that he could use the company as well, and she...she was interesting.

 

Kylo ran his fingers through his hair--now frizzy from the rain--as he followed the hall back into the living room. He found her standing in the middle of the floor, haunches raised in panic. She turned her head sharply at the sound of his footsteps, hissing and crouching away from him as he blinked in surprise.

 

_Witch bad! Witch bad! Witch bad! Witch bad!_

 

“Not all witches are bad,” he said, unable to keep himself from sounding affronted.

 

She snarled at him with her teeth bared when he squatted next to her. Discombobulated flashes of someone else’s shelves of jarred herbs and dripping candles and dusty tomes surged in the forefront of his mind, and it occurred to him at last how she had come to be a cat in the first place. Another witch had done this to her; it was no wonder she didn’t trust him.

 

Kylo tried to assure her as best as he could. “I’m not going to hurt you, Rey.”

 

Hesitantly, he reached a hand towards her, only for Rey to strike at him with the hot sting of her sharp claws. Parallel stripes of crimson crossed his palm, blood beading along the thin cuts.

 

Kylo grit his teeth. He knew yelling at her would only exasperate the situation but damn it all, he was just trying to help.

 

“If I wanted to harm you, all I would have needed to do was leave you on the street!”

 

She cowered at the volume of his voice, ducking behind the nearest piece of furniture, an aged leather armchair nearly as old as he was. His father had had it made only a few years after Kylo’s birth, and he’s been buried for a century at least.

 

“Don’t you dare scratch up that chair,” he warned, tone thick with anger.

 

More images tumbled into his head - of skinny, child limbs curling up behind another armchair, someone else roaring at her. The fear she felt, then and now, was palpable in the air. He deflated slightly, realizing the images were memories. He was only confirming her belief that he wasn’t to be trusted.

 

He _knew_ i he shouldn’t have done this. Kylo didn’t have the patience to care for wounded creatures. He should have brought her to someone who could control their temper. Maybe he could bring Rey to his mother...though the thought of facing her after decades of silence wasn’t exactly appealing.

 

He stood, exhaling. She still needed to eat, and if she was willing to dig through garbage, Kylo was certain she wouldn’t refuse whatever he had to offer, witch or not. He walked through the doorway into a narrow kitchen, absentmindedly filing through his pantry full of various grains and flours before opening the refrigerator to stare blankly inside.

 

Kylo had gone to the fish market only that morning, and so a set of fat salmon steaks wrapped in brown parchment paper rested next to the carton of eggs on his top shelf. He had bought them to have with Hux and Phasma, who were supposed to be over in the evening, but Kylo knew she would likely appreciate the fresh fish more. He should probably call them to let them know tonight wasn’t going to work, not with Rey in the house, not yet.

 

He snatched the salmon, then grabbed the half empty bottle of Chardonnay from the bottom shelf, tearing out the cork with his teeth and taking a swift swig.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When he returned with plate of seared salmon, he found Rey balanced on the edge of the corner table, working to open the vivarium that housed a now visibly stressed bearded dragon. He clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, setting down the plate to grab Rey--whether she liked it or not. She growled at him, squirming as he lifted her away.

 

“Leave Leviathan alone,” he chided. “You can’t eat him, and I doubt he’d taste very good anyway.”

 

She slipped through his hold, tail swishing against his chest as she smoothly hurtled towards the ground, bouncing away to hide behind the chair once more. Kylo sighed, grabbing the salmon and kneeling in front of the leather armchair. From what he could tell, she hadn’t scratched it at all, so that was a plus.

 

He set the plate onto the floor then left the room, and she crept out from her hiding place moments later. Kylo tilted into the door jamb, arms crossed as he watched with some satisfaction as she sniffed at the plate, then took a skeptical nibble. Evidently she was pleased by the taste, because she scarfed the rest without taking a breath.

 

Kylo wasn’t going to fully win her over with just food, but with some luck it would help.

 

He approached slowly and kneeled even slower, but she didn’t run off this time. For a moment they simply stared at each other, neither knowing what to expect, before she mewled softly. Kylo took the small sound for what it was--a thank you.

 

“I’m glad you liked it,” he murmured.

 

She turned away from him with a loose sashay, pouncing onto a sofa with lumpy cushions and a bold, striped pattern, an unfortunate relic from the eighties that he couldn’t resolve to throw away. Kylo smiled as she crawled atop the back cushions and settled in, still eyeing him with a prickly gaze.

 

“I really do just want to help,” he said, picking up the plate she had licked clean. “No harm will come to you under my roof.”

 

She made a low, rumbling sound of disbelief but tucked her paws under her head as she lowered it to rest.

 

Kylo was a bit surprised, if he was honest with himself. He wondered when she had last had a proper meal, if that had been enough for her to drop her guard. After placing the plate in the kitchen sink he went to sift through his books. He kept the books he used most frequently in the living room, but the second bedroom had been morphed into a small study, and that was where he stored the bulk of his reading material.

 

Kylo had whole bookshelves that stretched to the ceiling stuffed with rare manuscripts and research notes and grimoires, as well as literature written by fellow magic-users. He was a bit of a scholar, and he reveled in collecting knowledge from many sources. The power to morph a human being into another species was undoubtedly dark; it involved subjugation and sacrifice, no doubt. Though his mother certainly didn’t approve, Kylo was glad to have dabbled long enough in _all_ sorts of magic to have knowledge on even those dangerous, darker magics.

 

He turned to his desk with a whole stack of spellbooks, gentle as he pried through parchment so old it threatened to crumble under his fingertips.

 

It was difficult to tell exactly how long he spent at his desk, especially considering how dark the sky had been throughout the afternoon, but the view was black outside his window when he took off his glasses to take a break. Kylo leaned back in his chair, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck as he exhaled. When he shifted away to stand, he found Rey sitting upright in the doorway, silently observing with those perceptive, hazel eyes of hers.

 

“You look well rested,” Kylo commented.

 

She tilted her head at him.

 

“It might help if you could tell me how you were turned,” he said, propping an elbow up on the back of his chair, chin resting on his open palm.

 

She gave a short meow.

 

_Scary._

 

Kylo had no doubt of that.

 

“I understand,” he replied, “but the witch that did this could have used any number of curses on you. It would narrow down the search a bit.”

 

She deliberated quietly, glancing both at him and at his cluttered study. Besides the content of his books, there wasn’t much that could be considered out of place for anyone to have in their study. Determining that it was safe enough to enter, she stalked closer, glancing up at his desk and then back at him, as if to ask permission.

 

He scooted his reading materials over and she jumped, all lithe grace as her body stretched through the air.

 

Rey didn’t shy away from his gaze, her round eyes bright and consuming. He felt drawn to them, just as he had felt drawn to her in the alley. Kylo pondered the possibility that she was touched by magic, not merely cursed. He showed her his hand, allowed her to sniff at it, and when she darted her little, rough tongue against his fingertips, he smoothed his palm down the soft fur of her back.

 

His lips tilted upward when she purred at him, giving her time to relax.

 

New visions flooded his mind, stronger than the ones he had seen previously. She was showing him rather than leaking out her memories. The same child that had hidden behind furniture for fear of the other witch’s fury lay bound in the center of a circle comprised of bones and thorn-apples and flickering brown candles. The bones were feline, the brown wax hot as it dripped onto stark white.

 

Near the crook of the child’s elbow was a long slash carved by a knife; blood letting had been used. He watched as fat, grubby hands forced her chin up and pried open her lips, a bowl of mixed blood--hers, the witch’s, that of a cat--and crushed berries from the belladonna plant. The skinny girl sputtered as the poisonous mixture was poured down her throat.

 

Kylo’s hand fell away from her. He recognized that ritual. It had been outlawed for at least half a century.

 

She must have been touched by magic, after all. Otherwise, there was no way she could have survived the ritualized transformation.

 

Rey was a therian.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giant thank you to grlie-girl, my awesome beta who is so, so encouraging. It's really thanks to her that this isn't going to be a short, three chapter fic.
> 
> And thank you to everyone who commented before! I didn't expect such wonderful feedback!

There was a knock at his front door, and it broke both he and Rey from their reverie. He had yet to say anything to her. It was as he originally suspected and telling her that would not be easy. There was no way to undo therianthropic magic. The effects were permanent.

 

The knock was followed by tell-tale clicks and the sound of his door opening. He scowled as he rushed from his study. Kylo had forgotten about Hux and Phasma, and as usual, Phasma had picked the lock rather than wait for him to answer.

 

Hux stepped in before Kylo could tell them to scram, sneering in his usual, condescending tone, “Well, this is very welcoming. Did you forget how to turn on your lights, or do you _like_ sitting in the dark?”

 

Phasma snapped her fingers and his living room was illuminated to reveal all three of them. Hux was wearing a short cloak that wrapped around his narrow shoulders in elegant folds, his familiar, an orange tabby named Millicent, resting around his neck. Hux was not known for being subtle about his looks; everything the man wore screamed witch. Phasma, of course, was much more subdued.

 

“Did you forget we were coming?” she asked flatly, eyeing his choice of attire--a pair of gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips and a ratty tee shirt. In his defense, he liked to study in comfort.

 

He tugged his fingers through his hair, huffing. “I’ve been having a rather unusual day.”

 

“You seem to have a lot of those,” Hux replied, taking in the room. It hadn’t changed in the year since their last visit. “I see you still can’t seem to get rid of that hideous couch.”

 

Kylo frowned. “Not as unusual as today has been...and leave the couch out of this.”

 

Phasma rolled her eyes, strutting comfortably into the room, her heeled boots clicking on the hardwood floors. “Please don’t start bickering already.”

 

Millicent hopped from Hux’s shoulders, and Kylo saw why a moment later. Rey was slinked along the hallway wall, gaping in horror at his guests. This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid.

 

“Millie, what’s the problem?” Hux called after her, but his familiar still skulked towards where Rey lurked in fear.

 

Millicent was much larger than Rey, and though he trusted Hux to keep a rein on her, he wasn’t sure how Rey would react to being cornered. He didn’t have to wait long to find out. Rey bolted along the wall and towards him, not thinking but acting as she pounced onto his back and clambered up, away from Millicent. Kylo hissed at the dig of her claws, glaring over his shoulder as she clung to his shirt.

 

“I already told you you’d be safe under my roof,” he griped. “There’s no need to scratch up my back.”

 

_Don’t like cats. Don’t like witches._

 

He reached behind to grab her by the scruff, pulling her over his shoulder to place her in his arms instead.

 

“Fine, but my friends aren’t going to do anything to you.”

 

He looked away from her pleading, wide eyes to Hux and Phasma, who were both staring at him in a blend of shock and disgust.

 

“Kylo…” Phasma started slowly.

 

Hux snarled when she couldn’t find the words to continue. “What in the hell is that _thing?”_

 

Rey hissed in response, pressing herself closer into his chest. Hux only glared down at her trembling form, not disguising his disdain.

 

“The reason for my unusual day,” he replied with a flat tone.

 

Phasma stepped closer. “What have you been getting yourself into? If the council catches wind of you experimenting on humans--”

 

“I’m not the one who did this,” Kylo interrupted before she could further insinuate that he would even _think_ of placing such a heavy curse on a normal human. “I found her on the street. I couldn’t just leave her there.”

 

“You should have,” Hux snapped. “What are you supposed to do with a creature like that? Do you even know what it is?”

 

Kylo dreaded the word. Rey glanced up at him expectantly. She wanted to know just as badly.

 

“A therian,” he breathed.

 

Hux and Phasma both recoiled, faces going pale in shock.

 

“Those aren’t supposed to exist anymore!” Phasma whispered.

 

Hux sharply called, “Millie, come here. We’re leaving.”

 

The orange tabby leaped back up onto her master’s shoulders, obedient to the last. Hux turned to Phasma, who hadn’t looked away from Rey.

 

Her little, restrained mind was on repeat in her panic and confusion.

 

_Therian? Therian? Therian?_

 

“Phasma,” Hux said expectantly.

 

“Wait for me outside,” she answered. “I’ll just be a minute.”

 

Hux stormed out, his cloak whipping around him. Kylo sighed as the door slammed shut.

 

Phasma simply stared, as if puzzling together the mystery that was an unaccounted for therian. They had been rare even before the Council of Three had put laws in place to prevent their creation, but he supposed it would have been easy to miss a small cat. Most therians had been much more dangerous, mythical beasts that had lost their belonging in the modern world.

 

Rey was no dragon or griffin, but the council wouldn’t care if she was a mere stray cat. Her existence would be considered a threat. The fact she had been created meant someone had dared to challenge the council’s law.

 

Finally, Phasma addressed Rey. “How long ago did this happen to you?”

 

_Eighty._

 

Kylo sucked in harshly. “Days? Months?”

 

_Eighty. Eighty. Eighty._

 

“You’ve been stuck in this form for eighty years?”

 

Phasma stroked Rey’s ears, and she didn’t shy away from her kind touch.

 

“That certainly explains why her mind is so far deteriorated. You should cast Remembrance on her, see if that brings her back a little bit. Eighty years is a very long time to be a cat.”

 

Kylo nodded. “Do you think it’ll matter that she was created before therians were made taboo?”

 

Phasma offered a sad smile. “It’s hard to say. It might help if she could fully develop her magic. She’s supposed to be able to turn back into a human, if she _is_ a proper therian. The way she looks now...the council will just look down on her.”

 

At that, Rey shied away from Phasma’s touch, a low sound rumbling from her chest.

 

Kylo wasn’t too worried about that. He tended to lay low, and hadn’t had a run in with the council in a long time. Not since the death of his father. Unless Hux went running to them to tattle, he could go another hundred years without anyone taking notice of him. Hux hardly wanted their attention either, so it seemed unlikely.

 

“My knowledge on therianthropic magic is rudimentary at best,” Kylo muttered.

 

“Yeah, but knowing you, you’ll probably go into your obsessive research-hermit mode until you do know more.” Phasma grinned. “If you really want to help her, make her your apprentice.”

 

 _“Apprentice?”_ he sputtered back, “I don’t know how to train someone. I’m probably not even qualified!”

 

Phasma was already heading back outside to join Hux. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

 

* * *

 

_How do I turn back into a human?_

 

The fog of feline instinct clearing, it seemed Rey was the sort to get right to the point. Casting Remembrance had been slow but effective, to say the least, and Kylo could only be thankful that communication would be easier. He had been getting tired of having to interpret the jumble of words and images she had been sending him over the past week.

 

“I’m not sure yet,” he uttered back, absentmindedly scratching behind her ear.

 

 _Don’t do that,_ she grumbled into his head, ducking away from his fingers. _I’m not some pet._

 

Kylo sighed. “So? I know you like it when I pet you. You purred yesterday.”

 

Her wide, hazel eyes narrowed at him in a flat, unamused expression, her little nose twitching in anger. He could take a hint; Rey didn’t want to be reminded of what she may or may not have done as a cat. He could hardly blame her.

 

“Fine,” he said, sitting back in his leather chair. She leapt from his lap to the nearby couch, perching on its striped arm.

 

_The witch that did this to me would know, right?_

 

Kylo leaned into the palm of his hand, elbow resting on his knee. “I would assume so, if they were knowledgeable enough to perform the ritual. I can’t imagine anyone would create a therian without having a good understanding on how they shift between forms.”

 

He watched as her tail flicked back and forth--a thoughtful habit of hers.

 

_Do you know anyone named Unkar Plutt?_

 

Kylo frowned. The name was unfamiliar to him, but there were so many witches that remained unregistered and kept to themselves.

 

“Where do they live?”

 

_Jakku County, Arizona, in a tiny town called Niima. At least, that’s where he lived last I knew._

 

He cursed his own luck. He knew someone from Arizona, someone who would likely know of this Unkar Plutt, but contacting his uncle would be nothing short of unpleasant. Kylo was surprised she had managed to travel so far north to reach the Pacific Northwest, though he supposed she could have snuck aboard some form of transport. He doubted she could make the long trek to Oregon on foot, through perilous desert and great mountain ranges, avoiding predators all the way.

 

He considered her for a moment. Kylo didn’t fully understand the compulsion he felt to help her, but he knew he’d do whatever was in his power to do so. More than once he tried to imagine how she would look as a human, grown out of the childish features from her memories.

 

He hadn’t brought up what he had seen since the night she had shown them to him, and she hadn’t asked much about what a therian was, but Kylo knew it wasn’t a conversation they could avoid forever. She was only aware of the fact that it wasn’t a good thing to be a therian, and that she posed a threat to everyone she interacted with, regardless of whose fault it was.

 

He supposed he could get some satisfaction from putting Plutt in his place for what he’s done to Rey. It had been a good, few decades since he’s had the opportunity to teach another witch a lesson.

 

“I might be able to hunt him down,” he admitted at length. “My uncle lived in Arizona for half his life. He knows every witch in the state...from even before it _was_ a state.”

 

She made a small sound of satisfaction before asking, _Who’s your uncle?_

 

He raised a brow with a smirk. “Don’t you know curiosity killed the cat?” he tutted.

 

Rey hissed at that, clearly not appreciating his sense of humor. Kylo snickered, prying his cell phone from the deep pocket of his jeans. It had been a while since they had last spoken, but he knew very well how set in his ways Luke Skywalker truly was. The chances that his uncle’s number had changed--that his uncle had even _replaced_ his Nokia brick--were slim to none. He scrolled through his contacts with a weary sigh. He was already committed.

 

He tapped the call symbol and lifted his phone up to his ear, sucking in as he listened to it ring. Kylo exhaled when it went to message. It shouldn’t have been at all surprising, but Rey’s look of concern urged him to speak after the tone, rather than hang up and try again later.

 

“Hey, I know it’s been a while, but I need your help with something. Call me back when you get the chance.”

 

Less than a minute later, and his phone was vibrating in his palm. Kylo didn’t even have the opportunity to make niceties; Luke spoke before he could say hello.

 

“You need _my_ help?”

 

That was fine with Kylo. It was easier to just cut to the chase, rather than waste time with greetings neither cared to say. “I’m looking for a witch from Arizona. I figured there was a good chance you knew them.”

 

There was a brief silence. “Are you looking to make new friends?”

 

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Hardly. I have a--” he glanced at Rey a moment in consideration, “--a friend who needs to find him. Do you know anyone named Unkar Plutt?”

 

Another pause followed, filled only by a small hum from his Uncle in the receiver. Kylo tensed a moment, more and more uncertain the longer Luke took to reply. He sensed that Luke knew exactly who this Unkar Plutt was, but had no desire to divulge. The witch in question must have been even more distasteful than Kylo originally suspected.

 

“You shouldn’t keep friends that want to mix with the likes of Plutt,” his uncle finally said. “He’s not worth knowing.”

 

Kylo sank into the soft leather of his chair, disconcerted and relieved all at once. Relieved because it was a step in the right direction, but he had to ask himself what had Rey been doing with someone so horrid. He supposed they could have been related, but regardless, Kylo couldn’t imagine anyone leaving a mere child with someone like Unkar Plutt. A strange flutter of protectiveness warmed in his chest, one he was wholly unprepared to feel.

 

“But you _do_ know him.”

 

“Yes,” Luke sighed. “He’s quite the piece of work.”

 

Rey made a small sound to catch his attention, impatient in the way she returned to his lap to paw at his chest.

 

 _Tell me what’s going on,_ she insisted. _Does your uncle know where we can find him?_

 

“Give me a second, Rey, I’m getting to that,” he answered quietly, hand automatically stroking the soft length of her body and following the curl of her tail as she arched into his touch. Catching herself, she scowled up at him, bopping at his chin with her paw.

 

_I told you not to do that!_

 

His uncle’s voice was urgent. “Wait, Ben, did you just say ‘Rey’? Is she there? Is that who’s looking for Plutt?”

 

Kylo stammered in surprise, momentarily ignoring the use of his old name. “Yeah, do you know her?”

 

There was no response, and after a long moment, Kylo pulled the phone from his ear to look at his screen. A small message flashed in the corner as the call dropped-- _connection lost._ Rey, still in his lap, nudged at his hand with her forehead, wordlessly begging for an explanation.

 

She darted at the sudden banging at his door, returning to the safe place behind his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a mini cliffhanger! Though I'm sure it's fairly obvious who their visitor is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad everyone's about as excited as I am about Luke.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to my lovely beta, grlie-girl!

Kylo suspected that if he hadn’t already put upwards to prevent rude guests, his uncle would have appeared in the middle of his living room, brick of a phone still hovering next to his ear. Which was precisely why he’d put wards up to begin with; his family may have accepted his decision to move across the country _now,_ but at one point they would have taken every opportunity to drop in.

 

Still, he moved for the door, expression carefully restrained as he opened it. His uncle had the decency to look at least a little sheepish for the way he’d rushed over but marched right in despite how Kylo felt about the situation.

 

“Oh yes, make yourself at home,” he grumbled under his breath.

 

Though Kylo hadn’t spoken with his uncle for a few years, it had been much longer since they’ve met face to face. His appearance was mostly unchanged, blue eyes still vibrant with youth, his sandy hair just as messy as ever. He’d decided to grow a beard, but he was the same Uncle Luke he’d seen at his father’s funeral. None of his four hundred years showed.

 

“Rey?” his uncle called into the silence of his home, “are you here? We met a few times--”

 

Luke stilled in shock as she peeked her head out from under the leather chair, her ears perked in familiarity. Kylo breathed in, steadying himself in preparation for the barrage of questions that would likely result in a stiff scolding; Uncle Luke always had been a stickler for the law, and Rey was a walking violation.

 

Instead, his uncle stooped down to his knees, and Rey crept closer, hesitant but hopeful.

 

_The nice man is your uncle?_

 

The question was directed at Kylo. “Yes.”

 

She peered up at Luke, hazel eyes burning with emotion.

 

“Her mind is a strong one,” his uncle murmured, awe coloring his tone. He offered his hand for her to inspect, quietly asking her, “Do you remember me? I came to visit you while you were apprentice to Unkar Plutt.”

 

 _I remember._ Her thought was accompanied by a sort of aching, feline wail, and Kylo backed into the kitchen, unable to shake the feeling that he was invading on a private moment.

 

Uncertain of himself, Kylo filled the kettle and set it on the stove to boil, his uncle’s gentle, reassuring voice carrying, Rey’s mind clear and piercing even at the distance he had given them. He grabbed a tin of English Breakfast tea, measuring small scoops into an infuser to make a full pot.

 

So his uncle had known her parents. He could gather that much from their muted conversation. Irrationally, Kylo felt a rush of anger towards Luke, for allowing Rey to stay in such a situation, though he knew there was very little his uncle could have done. The bond between apprentice and master was sacred--no witch dared violate it by separating the two. To call it forbidden was an understatement. He now could only wish he wasn’t so ignorant of Rey’s predicament. Had she not seen the importance of telling him she had been Plutt’s apprentice?

 

Kylo forced himself to listen to the rumbling of his kettle, the water bubbling as it approached a boiling point. If his uncle knew Rey, there was a good chance she would be leaving with him. He couldn’t help but think she’d probably prefer staying with his uncle. Kylo refused to ponder on why this fact bothered him.

 

Already, Rey was more work than what he had signed up for. He couldn’t explain the tightness in his chest at the thought of her leaving. It wasn’t as if he was the best person to help her, in any case. She’d be better off with Luke; he’d surely be capable of training her.

 

He was thankful for the interrupting whistle of the kettle. It gave him something to do, rather than allow his mind to wander.

 

He startled when he felt the slide of Rey’s body against the the back of his calves, catching himself before he managed to spill hot water all over. Kylo glanced down at her from over his shoulder to see her sitting behind him, then carefully filled the teapot.

 

 _You don’t look anything like Luke,_ she accused. _He’s nicer, too._

 

Kylo snickered, despite himself. “Being nice isn’t a genetic trait. Don’t get angry at me just because you couldn’t tell we were related.”

 

She lurched upward, smoothly landing on the counter. Kylo had given up on telling her not to. Rey liked to watch, and for whatever reason, he could deny her nothing. He didn’t think it was pity, but some ambiguous cousin of that feeling that caused him to give in to her whims. He grabbed two mugs from the cabinet above.

 

“You two are rather friendly,” Luke chimed from the small archway between the kitchen and living room.

 

Kylo put all the tea things on a tray, not forgetting to grab the sugar for his uncle, who’s sweet tooth was notorious in circles even outside the family. On more than one occasion during his apprenticeship with Luke as a child, Kylo had witnessed distant acquaintances offer up sugary gifts in exchange for a clairvoyant glance. Luke had always obliged, though Kylo had thought it was a gross abuse of his powers, and that his uncle shouldn’t have been so lenient.

 

 _No, we’re not,_ Rey hissed defiantly, lashing at Kylo with her tail as she jumped down as if his uncle’s comment was _his_ doing.

 

“It’s good that you get along,” Luke insisted with a grin, and then Rey was flashing a glare at him, too. “I’m not in a position to be taking her in at the moment.”

 

Kylo rolled his eyes, bringing the tray into the living room, setting it onto the coffee table. “You got yourself another apprentice,” he said flatly.

 

His uncle settled into the corner of the couch nearest to his chair, scooping two spoonfuls of sugar into his cup before pouring hot tea to the brim. Luke reclined into the lumpy cushions, crossing his legs in a rare show of discomfort.

 

“Yes, well--”

 

Kylo interrupted with a frown. “I believe the last time we saw each other, your words were, ‘I failed to teach you anything constructive,’ and ‘I’ll never make the mistake of taking a student again.’”

 

He shouldn’t be taking this so personally. He knew that it had been his own actions that had led to the end of their relationship as master and apprentice. It didn’t matter that he’d been so young, so ill-prepared for his father’s passing, so heartbroken after spending most of his childhood watching his father crumple and gray with age too quickly for him to comprehend. For someone who was untouched, Han Solo had lived a long, full life, but Kylo had been inconsolable and traumatized by the acceptance and peace his mother and uncle had emanated.

 

Kylo watched as Rey skimmed along the sides of the room, pretending to be invisible as she listened. She approached him with tentative steps.

 

“Ben, that was over a century ago. Are you ever going to let it go?”

 

Kylo poured himself his own tea, watching with fixed interest as steam wafted from the mug. “No.”

 

He set the mug down without drinking from it.

 

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Luke exhaled, pausing as he deliberated. “The fact remains. I cannot teach her, so you must. I know you think seeking Plutt out will help her, but I don’t believe revenge is wise.”

 

Kylo scowled. “I’m not out for revenge,” he snapped, “I’m hoping to figure out how she can turn back!”

 

The look his uncle gave him was downright skeptical, but he mercifully did not question Kylo’s motivation. It must have seemed strange for Kylo to care so deeply about what happened to a girl-turned-cat after having known her for so short a period of time, but he did. He probably should have been ashamed of it, when he’d spent so long pushing away the affection and care of a loving family.

 

“I see,” his uncle finally murmured, stroking his blond beard with a curious glint in his eyes. “Well, if that’s all, you don’t need Unkar Plutt. My library is much more extensive than yours. I should be able to find the information you need, but...”

 

Luke trailed off then, lips spreading into a mischievous smile.

 

Kylo pressed his lips into a harsh line, impatiently repeating, “But?”

 

“You’re going to need to visit if you want to use my sources.”

 

Kylo should have known. His uncle intended to exploit his situation to cook up some sort of family reunion. There were worse things than seeing his mother again, though he loathed the idea. Rey complicated things, however. While the word _therian_ had not passed between them, his uncle was surely aware of what Rey was.

 

And Leia was one of the Council of Three. The concept was distasteful to him, but it was dangerous for Rey. There was no telling what his mother might do, in her current position, to a helpless, forbidden creature like Rey. He couldn’t imagine his mother harming her, but for the sake of her political standing...it was difficult to say.

 

He supposed he could leave Rey on her own; it wouldn’t take him more than a few days to go through Luke’s library, but the idea made Kylo nervous. If something were to happen while he was away, he’d never forgive himself.

 

His hesitation must have shown.

 

“This isn’t a scheme to reunite you and your mother,” Luke assured after the silence stretched on, “though I do think you should go see her. She really does miss you.”

 

Kylo frowned. “It _is_ a scheme, though.”

 

His uncle laughed in that easy way of his, nodding his head enthusiastically. “Obviously. You’re just going to have to find out.”

 

Kylo observed his uncle a moment more as he sipped his overly sweetened tea and gave an appreciative hum. Some things never changed, he supposed, feeling beat as he at last drank from his cup. Kylo let the tea sit in his mouth for a few seconds, savoring the smooth, bitterness on his tongue before its warmth flowed down his throat.

 

Rey wouldn’t care what their resource was, so long as they got the information needed for her to become human again. In fact, she would likely prefer to go through his uncle, if it meant avoiding Unkar Plutt. Kylo didn’t particularly like the idea of her having to see the hateful witch that had changed her. Not if she didn’t have to.

 

“Very well,” Kylo uttered into his cup, “though I don’t see why the games are necessary. Are you ever going to grow up?”

 

“Ben, there is a difference between maturity and being stuffy. Young people have such a hard time telling the difference.”

 

Still, his uncle appeared to be genuinely delighted. Kylo dreaded the reason, up until the moment he walked Luke out the door.

 

* * *

 

When Kylo emerged from the shower that evening, he padded into his bedroom to find Rey perched on the foot of his bed. While she had made herself perfectly at home in the other rooms of the house, he was certain he had never seen her in his room before. Kylo hadn’t forbidden her from entering but she had avoided it all the same, and he had never questioned it.

 

“Are you sleeping on the bed now?” he asked, heading for his dresser.

 

Her hackles rose in defense. _It’s more comfortable than your ugly couch._

 

He rolled his eyes as he pulled out a pair of briefs. What did everyone have against the stupid couch?

 

“I’m not looking for interior design advice, thanks.”

 

She continued to stare and Kylo paused, one hand where he had tucked the towel at his waist, the other gripping the briefs. He had no reason to be self-conscious, not when she seemed to lack an understanding of the concept of privacy, but she was human. The thought of her seeing him naked rubbed him the wrong way.

 

“Can you turn around?” he asked.

 

Rey blinked at him, quirking her head. _I’ve seen a penis before._

 

Somehow, her blasé tone served to make him even more uncomfortable. He pursed his lips and turned his back to her instead, tossing his towel over his shoulder as he stepped into his briefs.

 

 _I’m not a child, you know,_ she informed him. _I’ll be a hundred in less than ten years._

 

Kylo tried not to laugh. “By witch standards, you’re barely legal. That’s not the point. People generally don’t ogle at each other naked unless they’re…” he struggled to find the right phrase, frowning as he settled on saying, “...being _intimate.”_

 

Her tail flicked back and forth. _I’m not an idiot, either. I know what sex is, and that’s beside the point. Modesty for modesty’s sake is stupid._

 

He did laugh this time, full and loud. “You only get to say that because cats don’t get shamed for nudity. When we turn you back, you’ll need to wear clothing too.”

 

Her gaze was sharp. _I’ll do no such thing._

 

Kylo snickered, shaking his head. “You say that now, but it can get cold without a nice, fur coat to insulate you.”

 

She tipped her nose up at him, swiveling her head to the side, wonderfully stubborn as ever. Rey was an amusing thing, he would certainly give her that. He continued to grin stupidly as he reached to scratch under her chin. Pretend as she might, Kylo knew she liked it.

 

She didn’t complain this time, at least.

 

_When will we be visiting your uncle?_

 

Kylo turned out the lights with a sigh then crawled under the covers, Rey still sitting at the foot of his bed.

 

“Soon,” he promised.

 

She dipped her head forward in a small nod, and he expected her to run off with her answer. Instead, she crept closer, silently staring at him as she approached. When he didn’t tell her to sleep on the couch, which she seemed to have expected, she made herself comfortable on his spare pillow, easing into a little crescent shape with her tail curled around her.

 

The next morning, he woke with her asleep on his chest instead, burrowed between him and the blankets, faintly snoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the amazing feedback! It's greatly appreciated. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! Imagine that. A million thanks to my beta, grlie-girl, for looking this over for me! :)

Rey had growled at him when he dared move her in her sleep. Her long, scathing stare at his careful shifting would forever be imprinted in his mind. While Kylo was sure she had been very comfortable asleep on his chest, he had no desire to stay in bed all day just so she could nap indefinitely.

 

He trudged through the house in his briefs, surprised by the shiver that climbed the length of his spine. The mornings were starting to get colder, much too cold to be spending any amount of time in just underwear. Kylo glanced to the small fireplace in his living room on the way to the kitchen, wondering if it was cold enough for him to start a fire. He smiled at the thought of Rey curled next to the hearth, soaking up whatever heat she could.

 

After putting on the kettle and grinding beans for coffee, he returned to the living room, deciding to build a fire after all. The logs he had by the fireplace were old and dry, so it took very little kindling for flames to flicker to life. He stared into the dancing flame as it engulfed the wood, mesmerized. Outside, it started to rain.

 

Kylo quietly snuck back into his room, expertly avoiding the spots in the floor that creaked. Rey had likely fallen back asleep, and he was pleased that she was able to feel so relaxed in his home. She was a small lump under his comforter, and he’d hate to wake her now.

 

He never thought he would become caregiver to such a sad, helpless creature, and though he hadn’t anticipated Rey to be so much work, he couldn’t regret picking her up off the street. There was a simple joy he was learning to associate with providing for another person.

 

Kylo sifted through his dresser for one of his knit sweaters and a pair of sweatpants. He sat on the edge of the bed to tug on some woolen socks, and at that Rey stirred. Kylo anticipated her usual irritation at being awake in the morning, but she peered out from under the covers to blink at him blearily.

 

_Have you made breakfast yet?_ She asked.

 

He barked a startled laugh. He should have known.

 

Kylo trotted away at the sheer scream of his kettle, calling over his shoulder as he darted down the narrow hall, “Not yet, but there’s a fire going. Get cozy and I’ll make eggs.”

 

He nearly skidded into a fall as he stepped from wood to the linoleum he had in the kitchen, catching himself on the tiled counter. Rey followed him in, momentarily ignoring the crackle of the cheery fire he had built.

 

Right. She liked to watch. He wasn’t going to poison her food, but he doubted that was the reason she was so intent on studying him while he cooked. Kylo suspected she simply enjoyed it for its novelty; after so many years of picking from garbage and hunting for small prey, cooking must seem like a luxury to her. He had every intention of spoiling her, after the life she’s led.

 

Kylo cut a pat of butter from the dish he left out on the counter with the edge of his spatula and scraped it into his iron skillet, stepping away to grab the carton of eggs and loaf of sliced bread. Rey remained by the stove as he went about making toast, fixed on the butter as it oozed across the pan and bubbled along the edges.

 

_Butter,_ she reminded him as he grabbed some apricot preserves for the toast.

 

He smirked at her impatience--she had made it clear she didn’t like browned butter.

 

“I’m not going to burn anything,” Kylo promised.

 

He swiftly returned to the skillet, cracking four eggs into it; three for him and one for Rey. The whites ran together, much to her apparent frustration. She liked it to be very clear how much was _hers._ After making coffee with his french press he returned to flip the eggs, and Rey hovered at every movement, a not so subtle threat of punishment should he break one of the yolks. He had yet to break a yolk, but she still watched, waiting for the day he inevitably would.

 

She jumped down, satisfied by the plate he had made her, only then willing to venture towards the fire. Rey was sitting with relative patience on the small rug by the hearth. Kylo placed her plate on the rug and she instantly pounced.

 

He snickered as she nibbled on egg whites before piercing the pocket of warm, yellow yolk with her teeth. Of course, it was okay when _she_ broke the yolk. It spilled across the plate in a gush and she lapped at the liquid and that was when he turned towards his chair, unwilling to watch her eat.

 

Once finished, she slinked along his calves and purred as thank you.

 

“You’re gross,” he crooned with a mouthful of toast, dropping his hand to scratch below her chin.

 

She headbutted his palm. _Am not._

 

“You are,” Kylo insisted.

 

She was lucky she was cute.

 

* * *

 

At this time of year, rural Connecticut was covered in a liberal layer of frost. The woods were stark, wildlife noticeably scarce, and autumn colors had already succumbed to oncoming winter. Branches clawed like smooth bone for the wispy clouds above. Rey was kept mercifully warm in the thick layer of his coat, but he had no desire to linger outdoors.

 

Storrs was an inconsequential town if not for its proximity to the University of Connecticut, its people all settled in the thick woods on winding roads. Luke lived more specifically on Codfish Falls, a long road with a history marked by a small cemetery dating back to the early eighteenth century and a decrepit mill, in a brown house with goldenrod trimming with approximately an acre of land surrounding it.

 

Wards similar to the ones he had around his own home kept Kylo from appearing any closer than the mailbox. It seemed his uncle was learning to keep unexpected visitors out; he remembered friends and family appearing at odd hours back during his apprenticeship with Luke.

 

He trudged up the long driveway to his uncle’s quaint, New England home, admiring the newly painted window frames as he stomped his boots clean on the stone slab steps that led to the yellow door at the front.

 

He startled slightly when the door opened before his knuckles touched wood to reveal a visibly excited young man.

 

“You must be Ben,” he started before Kylo could begin to wonder who he was, “I’ve been looking forward to meeting for a long time now.”

 

And then he was hugging Kylo. This stranger--his uncle’s apprentice, he could only surmise--was _hugging_ him.

 

Rey wailed in surprise from within his coat, lashing out in panic. He hissed as she slashed at his belly, bending out of the unexpected and frankly unwanted embrace while pawing through his layers clumsily to free her. She clawed her way up his chest, her fur standing on end.

 

The young man stuttered in embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your familiar was there--”

 

Rey’s head whipped around and she seethed, _I’m not a familiar._

 

Kylo wanted to be amused by her strange sense of pride, but his irritation at Rey’s unwarranted attack and Luke’s apprentice overwhelmed everything else. He finished unbuttoning his sweater to find she had ripped through his tee shirt.

 

“That was rude,” he told her, even while stroking her back as she continued to cling to his thick coat. “Attempted disembowelment is a bit over the top, isn’t it?”

 

_I was being crushed!_

 

He huffed, looking towards the apprentice with a scowl. “For future reference, a handshake is sufficient when meeting strangers for the first time. Hug me again and I’ll show you how scary a real witch can be.”

 

He pushed past him to enter the house, letting Rey down once they were through the door. It had been many decades since Kylo had last seen the place, and though the furniture had been slowly replaced over the years, his uncle’s home managed to feel exactly the same as it did the last time he had visited. The rocking chair in the corner seemed to be the only piece he actually recognized, but of course Luke could never get rid of that.

 

Rey stalked through the family room, with its large couch and soft pillows, hopping the small step into the kitchen--the family room had been added after the original house was already built, it’s foundation fractionally lower. Kylo sighed, looking at the stack of mail on the round, kitchen table, treading quietly across white tiled flooring.

 

He was aware the apprentice was following him, but Kylo ignored it, walking past the dining and living rooms, the door to the basement and the tiny hall closet to step into his uncle’s library. Rey had already found Luke, who was in the attached office, sitting at an antiquity of a computer, desktop open to Explorer.

 

“Your apprentice attacked me,” he told Luke, who swiveled toward him in his creaky office chair, Rey in his lap.

 

Luke had the gall to sound amused. “Rey was just telling me. Very odd...that doesn’t sound like my apprentice at all. He takes after his father, you know.”

 

There was a small, embarrassed sigh behind Kylo, “Dad, you were supposed to tell him. I thought he already knew.”

 

_Dad?_ His uncle had never sired any children, at least not to Kylo’s knowledge, unless…

 

He looked back sharply. There wasn’t much of a resemblance, not with the apprentice’s dark complexion and short, tight curls of black hair. He would have never guessed him to be a relative. The apprentice met his gaze with a timid glance, pressing his full lips together as if to dare Kylo to say something about it.

 

Kylo looked back at Luke, who had stepped from his desk to lean into the doorway between the library and office. He was grinning in that infuriating way of his, and Kylo realized _this_ was his uncle’s little scheme.

 

“Ben, meet Finn, your baby cousin.”

 

* * *

 

There were two armchairs facing each other in a corner of the library, and that was where his uncle had insisted he sit with Finn to get better acquainted. Luke had scampered off to water the indoor plants, a daily ritual of his. Rey had decided it was more entertaining to follow Luke and his watering can around than watch Kylo flounder with his cousin. He should have been grateful she wasn’t there to witness him acting like a fool--she hardly needed more ammunition than she already had--but instead he felt rather lonely.

 

Finn was twiddling his thumbs, lips pulled into a small frown as he stared at his hands.

 

Kylo crossed his legs and leaned deeper into the chair. Evidently, it was up to him to start a conversation.

 

“Is your mother a witch?”

 

Finn looked up in surprise; clearly he had not anticipated Kylo to take any interest in him.

 

To be fair, Kylo wasn’t particularly interested in Finn, but knowledge was power and it was best to learn about the new addition to the family sooner rather than later.

 

“I don’t think so,” Finn said.

 

He didn’t know? Kylo wondered how that was possible. It should have been an easy question to answer.

 

Sensing Kylo’s bewilderment, Finn added, “She died of leukemia when I was seven. Chemo didn’t stick.”

 

The answer was no, then. Human disease had no claim on a witch--Death determined when they were taken. Finn must have been much younger than Kylo originally supposed, if his mother had been treated with chemotherapy. It was a relatively new treatment, compared to the barbaric use of arsenic, which would have been prescribed had Finn been born at any point before World War Two.

 

“How old are you?” he asked, now genuinely curious.

 

Finn sounded defensive as he said, “Twenty-three,” with a slow voice.

 

Kylo sputtered, eyes blown wide. When his uncle had introduced Finn as his baby cousin, he had been speaking literally.

 

“Twenty-three?” he repeated, barely containing his amusement. “In all seriousness?”

 

Finn must have thought he was teasing him, because he bristled in his chair, back straight. “I’m not that young. What are you, twenty-six?”

 

Kylo barked a laugh at that, unable to hold it back. He shouldn’t have been at all surprised, but it seemed that Luke was not treating Finn like an apprentice at all, if the kid didn’t know about something as basic as lifespans. Kylo could understand Luke’s hesitation to teach any spellwork, but for Finn to be so ignorant about who he _was_ was an injustice. Surely he’d have to start explaining when Finn noticed that he wasn’t visibly aging, that Luke’s silly beard was a ruse to look older.

 

He uncrossed his legs as Rey came bounding in, no doubt to find the source of laughter. She perched herself on the narrow arm of the chair, watching him in suspicion, and he eased her with a stroke of his fingers behind her ear.

 

“No,” he chortled, “I’m about ten times that. In February, I’ll be celebrating my two hundred and eleventh birthday, and that is still considered young. Even Rey is older than you.”

 

Finn frowned at him with a sort of certainty that he needed to be on medication. “That’s impossible. People don’t live that long, neither do cats.”

 

Rey grumbled, _I’m not a cat, either._

 

Kylo sighed, having anticipated some disbelief. His uncle had done a very good job of secluding Finn from their world. He hardly knew what Luke was trying to accomplish by keeping his son so oblivious. It would only make explaining later more difficult.

 

“Kid, you know too little about our world to really know what is or isn’t possible.”

 

He nearly cringed at the little slip. His father had called him _Kid,_ likely still would if he were alive. It had never mattered to his father that he was surrounded by a family that he would never have the opportunity to see aged. His mother had looked just as young and beautiful as when they first met when he lay on his deathbed, withered and gray--a full, human lifetime in his past.

 

His father had called his uncle Kid too, which was infinitely more humorous, considering Luke had been about a hundred and fifty years older than him. His father would always joke that he needed to stop hanging around such baby-faces.

 

Ah, well. Finn was a kid.

 

Rey turned her head on Finn, taking in his shocked expression, then whirling back at Kylo to bat his hand away.

 

_Be nice to him._

 

Of course, Rey sided with his moping cousin. If she ever had the chance to meet his mother, she’d probably side with her too. It was just as well, his mother might be more willing to overlook Rey’s state if she grew to like her.

 

“Fine,” he muttered, rolling his shoulders as he stood. “We came here for a reason, and I’d rather not waste more time here than I have to.”

 

She fixed her eyes on him for a long moment, before deciding it wasn’t an argument worth having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the astounding feedback I've gotten so far on this fic! Every comment/kudo/bookmark/hit means so much to me. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you grlie-girl for being such an encouraging friend and amazing beta! I probably wouldn't have the confidence to post this if it weren't for you. :)

The desk his uncle kept in the library was rickety and could stand to be refinished. The glossy sheen of finished wood had worn away after years of study, and he would have stacked the books higher around him if Kylo wasn’t concerned the desk would buckle under their weight. He had leaned on it with his elbows and the wood had moaned back. The chair was fractionally newer, the metal fold-up sort that was often thrown out on lawns for summer picnics. His knees poked into the underbelly of the desk at an uncomfortable angle, and Kylo longed for his own arrangement, his own chair, his own library.

 

He flipped through pages that had cured yellow with age, the overwhelming musty smell of books his only work companion. This had never bothered him before, but with Finn and Rey whispering at each other behind him, it was difficult to concentrate. He was a skilled linguist but the faded runes of the book were beginning to blur in his distraction.

 

“If you’re human,” Finn struggled with a low voice, “what do you look like?”

 

_Like any other human,_ Rey answered, simultaneously assaulting the boy with images of her younger self, all skin and bones, wide eyes and ratty hair. The bright flashes of her memories were not directed at Kylo, and seemed a bit fuzzy to him, like overhearing a conversation but not catching everything said.

 

She wouldn’t look quite like that child anymore, Kylo knew. Rey would be a woman, he imagined her with long, willowy limbs and slight curves, hazel eyes just as wild as ever. He tried not to think about what might not change about her--would she still lounge on furniture, dozing as it rained?

 

Kylo licked his lips, squinting as he reached into his breast pocket for his reading glasses.

 

“Whoa,” Finn muttered, shaking his head as if it would clear it of Rey’s unexpected invasion. Her particular form of communication was unique, even to a world-weary witch like Kylo. “What was that?”

 

Kylo scooted the chair back and it stuttered over the old rug his uncle had put down to protect the wood flooring. He turned on the metal seat, crossing his legs as he propped his elbow on the back of the chair and looked at the unlikely pair, Finn leaning forward in his armchair and Rey staring at him from where she sat on the floor, her head tilted to one side.

 

“It’s how she looked before she was turned,” Kylo said. “She wasn’t always a cat, and she’s not going to _stay_ a cat unless you two don’t shut up and let me concentrate.”

 

Rey turned her head just far enough to stare at him with one eye. _You’re being rude._

 

He scoffed. “When am I not?”

 

The flat look she leveled him with was one of silent agreement. Kylo rolled his eyes but cracked a smirk for her benefit, to which she made a low, disapproving sound. Ultimately, however, she knew better than to distract him when he was only researching therianthropic magic for her sake. Without him, Rey was trapped in the same feline form she’d had for eighty years now and she was impatient to stand on her own two feet again, as human as she was capable of being.

 

His uncle called from the kitchen, “Ben, Finn, I’m making some hot chocolate. Do either of you want some?”

 

Finn’s eyes widened in surprise; he catapulted from the chair and barrelled down the hallway, and Kylo snickered to himself. Just like a kid. Of course, his uncle’s recipe for hot chocolate was unbeatable--he remembered many afternoons in his childhood being spent standing on a stool next to his uncle in the kitchen, watching rich, dark chocolate melt into cream. A few years of studying in a french chocolaterie had certainly paid off, and Luke was nothing if not dedicated to his hobbies.

 

Rey sashayed after Finn, and Kylo decided he’d have to make hot chocolate for her once she was turned back. He wasn’t sure how her body would react to it now and he wasn’t inclined to find out.

 

He buried himself back in his uncle’s books, momentarily free from distraction. Progress was slow, over the following hours. There were several mentions of therians, even a passage on how to know if a witch had the right temperament to become one, but he was finding little detail on the ritual following the initial turn.

 

All he knew was that there were two--the first _Changing,_ and the _Return._ From what he understood, she should have the ability to switch between her two forms at will, once both parts have been completed, but until he knew how to complete _Return,_ she was stuck in a sort of purgatory state. Therian, but not completely. Human, but not really. Cat, but only physically.

 

His uncle slipped into the library without a word, gingerly setting down a mug of hot chocolate that looked to be as thick as pudding. Kylo smiled at the faint hints of cinnamon and cayenne pepper--his uncle remembered how he liked it.

 

Rey darted in a few minutes later, little clots of homemade whipped cream caught on her whiskers, to inform him that it was snowing out. Kylo opened the blinds to the window above his uncle’s desk, observing the white flakes snagged on spiry, dead grass. The sky, barely visible above the tree line, was a soothing gray that, combined with the warm confectionary drink that had settled in his stomach, made him want to curl up on a couch by his uncle’s fireplace and doze off.

 

Lethargic as he continued to admire the view outside, Kylo scooped Rey off the floor and cradled her in his arms. She didn’t resist, settling into his hold and following his gaze with her eyes.

 

The snow likely wouldn’t stick, it was too early in the year, but she admired it with silent awe. Kylo doubted she’d ever had the chance to watch the snow fall without being in it, and this thought had his chest tightening uncomfortably.

 

She seemed to sense his line of thought because she was tentative as she asked, _What will happen once I can change into a human?_

 

Kylo blinked down at her. He hadn’t put too much thought into _after,_ besides the odd speculation on how she’d look or act. He knew that wasn’t what she was asking about. Rey wanted to know if she would be out on her own again, while Kylo had assumed she would stay with him. He had spent so long wrapped up in his own privacy, yet she had come blundering in with ease, and Kylo had difficulty imagining his home without her in it. It was astounding how quickly she had made herself at home.

 

What did she want? Kylo could hardly say.

 

He cleared his throat. “Would you like to stay with me?”

 

Rey twisted in his arms, her belly up to him. _I wasn’t sure how you would feel about me sticking around._

 

“I’m not going to just throw you out onto the street,” he said, voice sounding softer than he intended.

 

_I didn’t want to presume anything. You’ve already done so much for me._

 

Kylo was certain this must have been the most honest conversation they’ve ever had. For too long he’s put off telling her the truth; even now, she hardly knew the significance of being a therian in a world where her kind was no longer welcome. Finn’s own ignorance of their world seemed to solidify this realization. He stroked the soft fur of her underside and she relaxed further into his hold, a slow purr rumbling in her chest.

 

“You have a home with me for as long as you want,” he told her.

 

Her eyes shut in satisfaction. He felt her trust implicitly, as if it were a physical thing that weighed heavy and warm in his gut, but all he could think was that she could not have chosen a more undeserving witch to believe in if she had tried.

 

* * *

 

It was still afternoon when the sun set, the cloudy soup of sky shifting from gray to a cool, threatening lilac. The weather would not be letting up at any point soon, though Kylo hardly had reason to complain. He was fixed permanently in the uncomfortable folding chair, Rey fast asleep in his lap and a danger to wake. The slow rise and fall of her slackened form was a peaceful distraction.

 

A vaguely familiar Russian opera was being played on a record player somewhere in the house, just loud enough for him to catch the notes but not the words, and Kylo leaned back, staring into the yard. The flooring creaked as someone tried--and failed--to stealthily creep into the library without disturbing him.

 

Kylo tipped his head over the back of the chair to see Finn collapse into one of the armchairs behind him. It was no great mystery what his cousin wanted: answers to questions he had never known he should have until meeting him. Kylo straightened his neck, facing the desk once more.

 

“Did you ask Luke first?” Kylo asked, mindlessly flipping a page in the book spread before him. There was no mention of _Return,_ just a fleeting description of how it felt to shift between forms, as transcribed by a therian that was centuries long dead. While fascinating, it was not what Kylo was looking for.

 

“Huh?”

 

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Whatever you’re about to ask me,” he clarified. “Did you ask him first?”

 

Finn cleared his throat, the leather of his armchair squawking as he shifted his weight. “Oh. Yeah. Dad...he’s…”

 

“He’s quite adept at avoiding conversations he doesn’t want to have, I know.”

 

“Yeah,” Finn agreed lamely.

 

Silence fell between them, and Kylo held in his sigh, the spine of the book whining as he shut it.

 

“If you’re not going to speak, I’d prefer you didn’t stare at my back while I read.”

 

“Right, sorry--” Finn stood promptly to leave.

 

“Just ask your question,” Kylo muttered, reaching for the next book from his stack.

 

“I have more than one, actually--”

 

_“Before_ I change my mind,” Kylo interrupted with a flat tone.

 

He smirked at the hint of panic Finn exuded as he retook his seat and floundered with what to say, before at last, his cousin asked, “How long do witches usually live?”

 

Kylo briefly wondered what sort of trouble he might get into with Luke if he shared this information with Finn, before deciding he didn’t particularly care.

 

“Not everyone touched by magic becomes a witch, but either way, our lifespans aren’t solely dependent on health as the average human’s would be. We die when Death decides, not a moment sooner. Usually, a witch will live around seven-hundred or eight-hundred years before He makes His claim, but I’ve heard of some living as long as a millennia. Death tends to play favorites.”

 

“Death?” Finn’s voice cracked. “As in the grim reaper?”

 

Death had more of a god-like status with executive powers, but Finn would hardly know anything about that. He determined when someone belonged to Him, but the grisly work of collecting was left to the grim reapers humans seemed to fear so much, regardless of the fact _collectors_ had very little interest in them.

 

Kylo grinned. “When you’re close to dying, they’ll start to lurk, always in the corner of your eye. They’re only visible to whoever they mean to collect, to remind you to settle your debts and make proper arrangements. Really, it’s almost kind of them. Humans are never given such a luxury.”

 

Finn considered this quietly. “My mom wasn’t a witch, then. Doesn’t that make me only half?”

 

Kylo glanced through the index of his book.

 

“No,” he answered with an easy tone. “You’re either touched or not. A person can be touched even if they’re born to a pair of normal, human parents. They are less likely to become a fully-fledged witch, though, since they usually begin to realize what they are later than someone born to a witch and have a harder time finding an apprenticeship. Witches do tend to beget witches, but it isn’t a given. Our family only goes back three generations, the rest before were untouched.”

 

“And Rey’s touched too, even though she’s a cat?”

 

Rey twitched slightly in his lap at the mention of her name, evidently listening into their conversation and only feigning sleep. Nevertheless, she made no great fuss about how she wasn’t a cat, a concept Finn was still having difficulty grasping; she wanted to hear Kylo’s answer as well. He supposed it was only fair she learned just why she posed such a threat.

 

“If she wasn’t touched, she would have never survived becoming a therian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of an abrupt ending....but I wanted to be able to dedicate a good chunk of a chapter to the therian talk. 
> 
> Thank you for all the amazing feedback I've gotten on this fic! Your comments put smiles on this goofy writer's face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this took me way too long to write...sorry! Thank you for being so patient with me. RL has been busy.
> 
> Shout out to my awesome beta, grlie-girl! 
> 
> I'd also like to thank the two artists that created fanart for this fic! Be sure to check out their work! :D
> 
> Hex, by morganelizabeth30 http://morganelizabeth30.deviantart.com/art/Hex-663179476
> 
> Hex, by Rachel-Zimon http://rachel-zimon.deviantart.com/art/Hex-663745589

“Therian,” Finn repeated, the tip of his tongue lingering at the roof of his mouth to draw out the _N_. “What’s that supposed to be?”

 

_Beings that are capable of transforming between species,_ Rey answered. It was what little she knew.

 

“Therians haven’t always been considered a threat,” Kylo murmured. “There was a time when witches with transformative powers were commonplace. Most therians took more fearsome forms than that of a house cat, which is why they were banned, to begin with.”

 

Rey shifted then. While she had kept herself still in the hopes that he would speak without interruption, she felt the need to shoot him a sharp look. He returned her glance with a toothy grin.

 

“Not that there’s anything wrong with cats, of course. They’re much easier to hide than, say, a dragon.”

 

“Those are _real?”_ Finn interjected with horror.

 

He shirked back into his chair when Kylo turned his head to stare at him from his shoulder with clear displeasure. “Dragons are an endangered species and have been grossly misunderstood creatures for millennia.”

 

Properly chastised, though perhaps further bewildered, Finn decided against pressing the matter of dragons. Kylo was admittedly touchy on the subject. Dragons had been a particular interest of his in his youth, one of the few his father had encouraged. His father had remained dolefully oblivious to the world of his wife and son, entirely by choice, but he had liked the prospect of dragons.

 

Kylo blinked back memories of himself, a gangly boy, blankets tucked under his narrow chin and his father in a small chair at his bedside, old books with fantastical ink illustrations the only changing feature in a childhood’s worth of bedtimes. His father’s reading voice had never put him to sleep, but for all their disagreements, Kylo looked back on those evenings fondly.

 

He exhaled through his nose, fingers absentmindedly scratching behind Rey’s ear, a gesture he found oddly comforting.

 

“The world is too full of people to have room for dangerous creatures. The Council didn’t want to give the untouched a reason to turn on us. A human that _could_ become a Bengal tiger in the middle of a city street and attack helpless people, regardless of their innocence, lost their belonging.

 

“Therians were too difficult for the Council to control. Therefore, the decision was made: the creation of therians became a punishable offense and existing therians were exiled to an unpopulated location. Eventually, the council entreated Death to collect these therians, though it’s never been confirmed that He agreed.”

 

What Kylo _did_ know was that those exiled therians, despite their fury at the Council’s choice, never made any opposition. They had seemingly disappeared, traceless, in what was called in whispers _The Therian Purge._

 

Kylo never supposed he would meet another therianthropic witch, especially if Death had been convinced to take them all from Earth. It was a wonder Rey had survived, even if she hadn’t been registered as a therian. Death could not be deceived so easily; it was likely because of a technicality that Rey remained alive. She wouldn’t be considered a true therian until _Return_ was performed, and Death was known for His appreciation of technicalities.

 

_What will happen if the Council finds out about me?_ Rey asked, unable to disguise her fear.

 

Now she could understand why Hux had reacted so negatively to meeting her. Nothing good happened in this modern day and age to a witch that associated themselves with an errant therian, of that Kylo was certain.

 

It occurred to him how _little_ he cared, considering the danger.

 

“The Council won’t ever find out about you,” he assured, knowing very well this was a promise he had no right to make.

 

She would never be completely safe and to pretend otherwise was foolish, but Kylo couldn’t tell her that. She deserved some level of peace, for however long it could last. He wanted to provide her that peace, right until the end--whatever end that might be.

 

Would his mother turn from him in totality if she knew he was harboring a surviving therian? If he was quiet enough, he hoped he could avoid learning the answer. After what had happened in the wake of his father’s death, he doubted her genuine desire to see him anyway. He had time to brew up a contingency plan to keep Rey safe from the Council, at least for now.

 

Rey wouldn’t relax on his lap again. Distressed by this new knowledge, she slinked from her resting place to the Persian rug, promptly kicking up her hind leg to itch the back of her neck.

 

“Aunt Leia is a member of the Council, isn’t she?” Finn whispered at length, at last connecting the dots. “You don’t think--”

 

Kylo scoffed. “My mother’s political career has always been her greatest priority. I wouldn’t put it past her if she thought it might gain her popularity. She’d even think she was doing the right thing.”

 

Rey was still frantically scratching--a nervous habit? He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to calm her, not when her eyes were glazing over in panic, her mind reverting to the sort of recycling thought formations she had been capable of at their first meeting.

 

_Find me. Find me. Find me. Find me--_

 

Before Kylo could kneel beside her and offer solace, Finn slumped from the leather chair and crouched on the rug.

 

_Find me. Find me. Find me--_

 

“Hey,” he crooned, tentative palm smoothing over her fur, “I’m not going to tell anyone, okay? Your secret is safe with me.”

 

She stared at Finn, long and unblinking. Rey was hardly familiar with human kindness, after years of living as a stray. Confronting it now, she scarcely knew what to make of it.

 

Her mind released a single, soft blurb of incomplete thought. _So nice._

 

The sudden fire of jealousy that burst in his chest was unjustified.

 

* * *

 

It was morning, a few, short hours before dawn. At some point, Kylo had fallen asleep at the library desk only to wake to an uncomfortable crick in his neck. He kicked off his shoes, wriggling his toes from within his socks and then stood, stretching with a grunt.

 

Rey was no longer in the library, though she couldn’t have gone very far. Likely, she had followed Finn upstairs and was curled up on his cousin’s bed. Kylo tried not to be irritated by the thought, which of course, was ridiculous.

 

Besides, Finn _was_ nice. Much nicer than Kylo, at least. He should have been above this sort of childish fretting.

 

In the dark, Kylo followed the hall back into the kitchen. The tile was slippery under his socked feet. He switched on the small, dim light over the sink, reaching into the nearby cupboard for a glass to fill from the faucet.

 

“Have you found what you’re looking for?”

 

Kylo nearly jumped at the sudden sound of his uncle’s voice. He scowled, swerving around as he sipped from the glass, not particularly pleased when he noticed a book tucked between Luke’s arm and side. Kylo realized with an exasperated sigh that his uncle had been keeping him hostage in the library, blindly searching in vain for a resource that had been removed before his arrival.

 

“Are _you_ done fucking with me?” he asked back, trudging towards the kitchen table and collapsing into a chair.

 

His uncle hummed, taking the seat opposite of him, setting the book down to slide it across the table to Kylo. It read on its cover in a faded script, Byrth _and Transformation: Therian Magicks._ Luke lit the lamp that hung overhead as Kylo flipped to the table of contents to discover with frustrating ease, _Return and Form Changing_ Beyond, page 394.

 

He wondered, lips drawing a thin line, what the point of his uncle’s game had been. Had this whole scheme been about meeting Finn? Surely there was a better way to introduce them besides roundabout manipulation. This was exactly why he spent so little time with his family. He had no interest in having his chain yanked for the entertainment of his uncle.

 

“Your son is completely oblivious,” he muttered at length, shutting the book with a dusty thud, “and I don’t appreciate being used as an impromptu educator just because you’re busy hemming and hawing. Teach him yourself.”

 

Luke gave a private smile. “He’s a good kid but I’m not sure he’s prepared to begin his studies.”

 

Kylo crossed his arms. “I was half his age when I became your apprentice,” he chastised. “He _wants_ to learn.”

 

“Yes,” his uncle huffed, “I know.”

 

Silence fell between them. Kylo knew that Luke was reminiscing on their past relationship as master and apprentice. A shadow flit over his uncle’s youthful visage as he undoubtedly recalled just how that relationship had been absolved--with betrayal and heartbreak on all sides. He had hurt his uncle and of this Kylo was acutely aware. He shut his eyes against the prevailing memories of his father’s disastrous funeral.

 

Finn wasn’t Kylo, though. His uncle’s concerns and subsequent refusal to teach his son about his birthright were unjust.

 

“You can’t protect him indefinitely,” Kylo murmured. “There are things he should know and eventually, he’ll seek this knowledge out on his own. You might not like where he finds it.”

 

He certainly hadn’t liked where Kylo had found it.

 

Luke repeated, softer this time, “I know.”

 

* * *

 

While sleeping on a pull-out was infinitely better than the fold-up chair at the library desk, Kylo woke to a symphony of popping vertebrae and cramped shoulders. The living room was bathed in pale, white light, clouds still looming in the sky--he hadn’t bothered to draw the curtains when he lumbered in from the kitchen to get a few hours of proper sleep.

 

Rey came bounding in at the creaking frames of the couch as he folded in the mattress.

 

_You know how to help me!_ She exclaimed, thrumming with elation as she twisted around and rubbed herself against his calves. _Luke told me you found the book!_

 

“Yup,” he muttered with a yawn, rubbing his face with his hands and grimacing at the slight greasiness. “Let’s go look at it.”

 

Coffee was already brewing in Luke’s yellowing coffeemaker, likely a form of apology for leading him around like a damned horse. He sat once more at the kitchen table, opening the book where he had previously left it. Rey leaped onto the tabletop, tail pointed high into the air.

 

_Well, what do we have to do? Is it a spell? Do you need to prepare a potion? When can we do it?_

 

Kylo grinned. “You’ve waited eighty years already, where did all that patience go?”

 

_Out the window,_ Rey snapped back. _Don’t leave me hanging!_

 

He raised his brows and made a show of turning the page slowly.

 

_Kylo!_

 

He snickered but still noticed when her claws distended in a not so subtle threat. “Fine, fine. I’ll stop teasing.”

 

He tossed several pages over the spine to reach 394. There was a long, in-depth introduction that began with the first known casting of _Return_ that he skimmed over to reach the instructions and listed materials. The ritual itself seemed to be a mirror to the memories Rey had of her first _Changing,_ requiring a circle and topical potion.

 

And just as the first circle had been littered with the bones of cats, the materials for the second circle were a harsh reflection.

 

They stared together at the first line of rough, ink lettering.

 

_The bones of a human._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and for your amazing feedback! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you grlie-girl, as always, for beta-ing this fic! :D

_The bones of a human._

 

Crimson bled across his vision; Kylo blinked, though it did nothing to dispel the memory. Bile, hot and acidic, rose to his throat at the bombardment of past sins, all remembered with a few simple words on a page. He swallowed thickly, chest tight with familiar, choking panic.

 

Bones and blood and fire--still, nothing had saved his father from the curse of mortality. But of course, he had been so young, so freshly released from his position as an apprentice, so foolish in his disregard for consequences. Kylo had learned that no action was left unpunished the hard way, and it was not a lesson he would soon forget.

 

He sucked in sharply and slammed the book shut, promptly standing to back away from the table. Rey tilted her head at him in bewilderment.

 

 _Kylo,_ she paused a moment, _please--_

 

“Give me a moment,” he interrupted, slowly scraping his nails through sleep-flattened hair.

 

He wasn’t sure he could do this. It wasn’t fair that anyone ask it of him after what happened the last time he used such dark magic. In the years since, Kylo had found a happy medium, a blurred gray conclusion. He would never be perfect and good, but he wouldn’t ever be considered _evil_ either. His stomach roiled once more at the very thought.

 

Kylo had done so much for Rey already, surely she wouldn’t force him to do this too. He would do nearly anything for her. Already, he has opened communication with his uncle again for Rey’s sake. That had to mean _something_.

 

“Just a moment,” he breathed, turning his back to her.

 

Kylo rushed back down the hall and into the library to the connecting downstairs bathroom. She called after him, and he was sympathetic to what she must have felt, but he couldn’t use that dark magic. Rey padded after him, her paws making small pats as her pink soles hit hardwood.

 

 _Wait, Kylo!_ Rey cried after him.

 

He slid the bathroom door shut hard enough for it to jump in its track, leaving her no other option but to wait for him outside.

 

 _I don’t understand what just happened,_ she said. _What does this mean? Why human bones?_

 

Kylo ignored her fastidiously, propping both hands, palms flat, to the sink counter to glare at himself in the mirror. His reflection was pale and withdrawn, shadows clinging to the undersides of his narrowed eyes.

 

He had stayed under the radar, avoided breaking the law (for the most part) for long enough that the Council of Three didn’t check in on him regularly anymore. If he was caught this time however, his relatively light punishment for previous offenses will no longer be overlooked.

 

He twisted the sink knob, cold water bursting from the faucet. It was frigid enough for his fingers to prickle painfully as he cupped his hands under the flow to splash water on his face. The shock of icy well water was exhilarating. A trickle glided from the dip of his throat to wet the collar of his shirt.

 

Really, what had he expected? Kylo had already known just how nasty the initial ritual was, why would the second be any different? He exhaled through his teeth.

 

It wasn’t right, completely unfair to him, but Rey’s situation was equally unjust. Becoming a therian wasn’t something she chose for herself, it was thrust upon her by a cruel, subjugating master that wanted her utterly underfoot. He frowned, recalling the terrified child she had shown him from her own memories, cowering behind a chair to avoid the wrath of a sweaty and plump witch.

 

Perhaps revenge wasn’t so bad an idea after all, he mused, grimacing to himself.

 

Kylo shut off the running water, huffing as he reached for the hand towel. His fingers trembled as he dried his face. He breathed in deeply, sitting on the closed toilet seat while Rey whined helplessly by the shut door. Kylo supposed he owed her some form of explanation, though he hardly knew what he could say.

 

He attempted to compose himself as Rey gently scratched at the door. Finally, Kylo made a half-hearted gesture with his finger and the sliding door followed this movement, shooting open for Rey to come bounding in. She pounced onto the tops of his thighs, her hind legs supporting her as she planted two paws to his chest and crowded her face close to his.

 

_What the hell was that?_

 

Kylo had no answer for her. He hardly knew himself, regardless of the time that’s passed.

 

 _You look like you’ve seen a ghost,_ she continued, concern tinting her tone.

 

He wished he _had_ seen a ghost, Kylo surmised. They were favorable company when compared to the unwanted reminder of his past.

 

“I’ll be fine,” he murmured.

 

She didn’t argue this sentiment, though he recognized the skepticism in her unwavering gaze. He could see the flecks of gold and vibrant auburn in her irises, a ring of yellow-green surrounding the narrow slit of each pupil. Would her eyes still maintain such unsettling beauty when she became human?

 

 _If you say so,_ she relented, a certain softness tempering her mental voice. Her eyelids drooped before closing all together and she leaned forward, tilting her head to rest it against his chin. She sensed his distress and meant to offer what comfort she could, this thought warmed him.

 

He ducked his face closer, nose burying in the soft, gray tufts of fur at the top of her small head, allowing himself to be comforted by her.

 

* * *

 

When Kylo emerged with Rey in his arms from the downstairs bathroom, it was only to gather his coat and quietly take the book from where he had left it on the table. He meant to leave without a word but Luke was waiting for them in the family room, seated in his rocking chair with a cup of coffee.

 

He was suddenly assaulted by the desire to be within the walls of his own home, to sit in his leather armchair and listen to rain as it pattered against the window panes, or to the crackle of a fire in his ash-veiled hearth.

 

His uncle remained silent however, so Kylo moved for the front door. He unlocked the deadbolt and made to open the door when Luke quietly informed him, “Nobody visits the cemetery down the road anymore. Everyone buried there has been dead since the eighteenth century.”

 

Kylo grit his teeth, fingers gripping the handle. He knew the place very well. Less than a mile down Codfish Falls and secluded by a mossy stonewall and creeping woods was a small, square plot of land with no more than thirty weathered gravestones standing stubbornly against sun and snow. As a child, he had studied the names with morose curiosity.

 

“Why are you telling me this?”

 

There was a sad sort of amusement to his responding question. “Why is that book tucked under your arm, if you don’t intend to use it?”

 

Rey shifted from within his coat, listening intently.

 

He nearly asked where his uncle had procured the book in the first place, and why it remained in his library even fifty years since the ban on therians was put in place. Instead, he rested his hand where he imagined Rey’s head to be.

 

“I’m going to help her. She deserves more than to be trapped in the form of a cat.”

 

Kylo opened the door.

 

“And what of Plutt?” his uncle asked.

 

He wouldn’t make any promises. “I’ll leave that decision to Rey,” he replied frankly, stepping through the threshold.

 

The cold outside was bracing but served to relieve the anxious heat flaring in his chest. It had snowed again during the night but November sunlight was burning through the cloud cover to melt whatever had stuck. Kylo didn’t immediately depart for home and steeled himself instead, tugging on his gloves as he trudged down the long driveway.

 

He made a left at the mailbox to follow the winding rural road. During the summer months it was a lovely walk to make, the woods offering green-hued shade and wildlife abounding. Now the gravel crunched wetly under his shoes, a bitter wind blowing with little to deter it.

 

The cemetery was only ten minutes away on foot. He made wide steps up the sharp sloped entrance, numbly basking in the chilled air. The two oldest stones, a husband and wife that had died just before the turn of the eighteenth century, still rested in listless silence at the far back of the plot, an old, barren oak tree looming over them both.

 

The names and dates were erased with time and a generous caking of moss. He stalked towards the husband and wife, avoiding the numerous, low, unmarked stones that indicated the burial places of young children.

 

Rey squirmed within his coat.

 

“Stay in there,” he told her with an even tone. “I don’t want you to see what I’m about to do.”

 

_How bad is it, Kylo?_

 

He sighed, staring down at the wife’s stone. It should be a woman’s bones, he decided. “Very.”

 

She hesitated. _I don’t know if I want you to do anything that will get you in trouble just for my sake._

 

“Just stay in there,” he repeated faintly, reaching into his pants pocket for the small switchblade he kept on his person.

 

He removed one glove, swiftly slashing through the crease of his open palm to hold his fist over frozen earth. Blood trickled to the dirt in a slow stream.

 

In a voice he hoped was too low for Rey to hear clearly, Kylo uttered, “Surge mea serva.”

 

The sensation of black power that surged through him was like no other. A mammoth hand, impossible to perceive with the use of sight, passed through him with an ease that sent a cold sensation down the length of his spine. He felt it dig its hooked fingers into the ground and clasp the wife from within her coffin, suffusing her with a hollow imitation of life. True reanimation was not something so easily accomplished, he knew all too well.

 

Kylo flinched at the sound of phalanges rasping against wood. The invisible hand that woke the dead retreated back through his body; the wife was capable of freeing herself, now.

 

For someone who had been buried under six feet of hard-packed earth for several hundred years, the wife clawed herself out with very little effort. She stood at attention, ready to follow his command, flesh no longer clinging to bone. Her gown may have been beautiful once but it now hung from her shoulder blades in tatters, smeared with decomposition and dirt.

 

Without eyes, her stare was unblinking and empty. Kylo refused to meet her gaze.

 

“We’re leaving,” he said with a gruff tone, pulling his glove back on.

 

The wife didn’t move and Kylo curled his fingers around her humerus to vanish out of sight, pulling her across space with him.

 

The cheery facade of his one-story home was not so reassuring as he tugged an animated skeleton through the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to get to human!rey in this chapter, but it looks like she won't be appearing until the next. Ah, well.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and for the amazing feedback! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to my amazing beta, grlie-girl, for all your help! Thank you fairhairedkings for your Latin advice in this chapter and the last. It's much appreciated! :)

It was only after ordering the wife to remain in his study and shutting her inside to stand silently that Kylo unbuttoned his coat. Rey slinked to the floor, creeping towards the study with a foreboding stare. The wife, though mercifully out of sight, created an absence, an empty spot in space that he could instinctively feel; Kylo wondered if Rey could sense the same point of nothingness.

 

She sniffed at the crack under the door before jerking back in disgust.

 

“Leave her alone,” Kylo murmured, scooping her off the floor. “She won’t do anything I don’t tell her to.”

 

Rey clawed into his shirt as she clung to him. _What is that thing? What did you do?_

 

He hissed as she unconsciously drew blood. “Rey--”

 

She landed smoothly when he dropped her.

 

_I don’t like it,_ she shivered, staring at the closed door. _It’s wrong._

 

“Yes, it is,” Kylo agreed, weariness giving way. It had been a long time since he had last taken advantage of his granted gift and he was left drained in the aftermath. It was a miracle he managed to transport two beings across the country.

 

Kylo kicked his shoes off in the middle of the hall, too tired to deal with them properly. He shucked his pants as he dragged himself towards the bedroom, leaving them on the floor, flaccid legs akimbo and stretched across the open doorway. He didn’t bother undressing further, throwing himself lengthwise across the bed, his head hitting the pillow by chance.

 

_Kylo--_

 

“Sleep now, talk later,” he interrupted with a yawn.

 

_I’m scared._

 

He grunted as he lifted his chin from the pillow. “Get on the bed.”

 

Her claws, still distended, clacked on the floors as she dashed towards him. He didn’t have the heart to scold her for scratching at the wood and she hopped onto the mattress to curl into a tight ball at his side.

 

_Close the door,_ she pleaded, trembling against him.

 

Kylo didn’t bother shifting to look at where his hand reached, waving lazily. She jumped when it shut with a slam but his consciousness was already slipping as sleep took him.

 

* * *

 

Rey was asleep on his back, emitting warmth when Kylo jolted into wakefulness at a blaring alarm. She yelped, leaping away from him. It wasn’t an alarm, he realized, but his phone. Still in his pants pocket, it was loudly ringing.

 

He groaned, scrubbing his face with both hands before forcing himself up. Rey watched from the edge of the bed as he crouched down to dig through his pocket and check the caller ID. It was early afternoon and Dopheld Mitaka was calling--it had better have been for a damn good reason.

 

“Mitaka,” he barked, bringing the phone up to his ear with a scowl.

 

There was a relieved sigh over the line. “Sir, you need to come in.”

 

Kylo huffed.

 

“It’s been five weeks,” Mitaka bravely managed to say, adding in a lower tone, “I’ve been handling the shop fine but we have a client that insists she requires your assistance specifically.”

 

He rubbed his eyes, rolling his shoulders. Mitaka was a quality employee that Kylo felt could be trusted to run his supply shop, stocked with herbs and loose tea leaves, incense and essential oils. Though clientele was small in his area, he also offered concoctions of his own creation to fellow witches. The rest was available to anyone.

 

Though he frequently disappeared for a week or two, Kylo had to admit five weeks of not stepping into his own shop was a little excessive.

 

“Is she willing to wait for an hour?”

 

There was a brief pause, then Mitaka returned to the phone to say, “She is, but any longer and she’ll take her business elsewhere.”

 

She would have to leave the state to find the same level of service but Kylo supposed he had no choice.

 

“Have my client wait in the back office and serve her some tea. I’ll be down soon.”

 

At that, Kylo ended the call and glanced towards Rey, still perched at the foot of his bed. She tilted her head at him, clearly bewildered by the conversation she had overheard. He stooped to his feet, shaking his hair, greasy now after two days without bathing. Kylo crinkled his nose after checking his pits, realizing he would need to take a shower before even thinking about leaving the house.

 

“I have to go to work,” he told her.

 

She blinked up at him. _Work? You have a job?_

 

Kylo wondered if he should be offended, even as laughter bubbled in his chest. “Yes, I have a job. I own a herbal dispensary downtown. Are you going to be okay if I leave you here?”

 

Rey hesitated for a moment, then confessed in a small voice, _I don’t want to be alone with that thing._

 

He sighed, unsurprised by her response. So long as the client didn’t see her, it shouldn’t be a problem to bring her along, he supposed. Mitaka was untouched and wouldn’t be able to sense the difference between Rey and any other cat, and even if he had been a witch, Kylo trusted him to an extent.

 

“All right, you’ll have to come with me. I’m going to jump in the shower and then we can go.”

 

_Ren’s Spice & Herb Supply_ had only one customer in the front, an elderly woman that frequently purchased a blend of earl grey and lavender tea, while Mitaka anxiously sat ramrod straight on the stool behind the counter. Relief flooded his employee’s face at seeing him and he stood to greet Kylo (or rather to swiftly usher him towards the back office) but he paused to unbutton his peacoat and let Rey glide to the floor. She hadn’t squirmed the entire time he had stood in line for coffee and he felt a strange pride at that, Rey felt safe with him.

 

Before she could run off, all the foreign smells were surely driving her curiosity up the wall, Kylo bent over to warn her, “Be good. You can take a look around but don’t jump on the shelves or knock anything over. If you’re any trouble, Mitaka will keep you behind the counter.”

 

Her eyes narrowed up at him as she hissed. _Don’t talk down to me as if I’m a child._

 

Kylo grinned despite her irritation. “Fine, we’ll head home soon. Maybe we can make a stop at the farmer’s market on our way back.”

 

She bristled when he reached to scratch the fur behind her ear but made a low sound of complaint when he stood.

 

The elderly woman was giving him furtive glances from the corner of her eye, wrinkled lips pursed in disapproval. Kylo didn’t hide the fact that he was a witch but he didn’t exactly go proclaiming it to the world, either. Having a conversation with a cat, however, was a dead giveaway and older generations had more prejudices than the younger ones. That was simply human nature. Still, he doubted she would stop buying the merchandise after all her years of quiet patronage.

 

Walking back to the office he only paused to tell Mitaka, “Keep an eye on Rey for me. She knows to behave herself.”

 

_I can hear you, you big jerk!_

 

Kylo ignored her, instead opening the office door to stare at his supposed client, stunned.

 

“Phasma,” he muttered. “I should have known.”

 

Her red lips quirked in a cheeky smile. “It’s nice to see you, too. I thought you might still be acting like a hermit.”

 

She must have given Mitaka a not so subtle threat to not say her name over the phone. He couldn’t believe he had gotten out of bed and showered for _this_. Phasma had always had a way of yanking his chain.

 

“I’m assuming Hux is not involved with this visit,” he grumbled, leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed. Considering their last encounter, Kylo didn’t expect to see Hux again for some time.

 

She set her teacup and saucer on his desk, tutting. “He’s visiting his mother. I opted out of that trip.”

 

Kylo shook his head with a sneer, “Well, I can hardly blame you for wanting to avoid _that_. Are his parents still pestering you two about marriage?”

 

“With a vengeance,” she confirmed with a breezy tone, “but that’s not why I’m here.”

 

“Oh?”

 

Phasma stood, towering over him in her heeled ankle boots. “I’m not really here to see you, either. I wanted to check in on little Rey. Did _Remembrance_ have its desired effect?”

 

“See for yourself,” he replied, tilting his head back to call into the store. “Rey, come back here for a moment. You have a visitor.”

 

He signaled her over when she, in a moment of shyness, stuck her head out from the front counter to look towards the sound of his voice. Not entirely reassured, she slinked towards him, hugging the wall and taking careful steps before darting to hide behind his legs.

 

_Phasma,_ she said in recognition, her head poking out from between his ankles.

 

Phasma beamed down at Rey. “You remember me?”

 

Rey squeezed herself through the doorway from between Kylo’s shins, her shoulders forming sharp angles to fit.

 

_You were the kind witch. You pet my ears._

 

Phasma laughed. “I don’t believe there are very many other people that would consider me kind.”

 

She looked away from Rey to ask, “Have you figured out how to turn her back?”

 

Kylo shuddered a sigh. “Yes, I did. I’m performing the ritual tonight.”

 

The sooner the wife was off his property, the better. He would need to spend days cleansing the place again.

 

Sympathy and understanding crossed Phasma’s face. “Witch’s Castle?”

 

He inclined his head in confirmation. “Witch’s Castle.”

 

* * *

 

As irritated as he pretended to be that Phasma was tagging along, he was honestly grateful for her help, even if he hadn’t sought it. Rey was more forth giving in her appreciation of Phasma’s attention, and while he was certainly irked by her clear favoritism, he could comprehend her need to interact with another woman.

 

It was odd for him to think of Rey as a woman, but they chattered together quietly and the distinction was clear.

 

Phasma came from a large family with a baker’s dozen of siblings and though the topic wasn’t broached often, she wanted to have children of her own. To no one’s surprise, Hux wasn’t receptive to the idea. Kylo wondered if she saw little, defenseless Rey and saw in her the family she longed for.

 

He let them talk in peace; collecting himself for what was about to come was more important. With the wife looming behind him in his study, Kylo reviewed the ritual. With a grimace, he realized he and Rey would both need to contribute blood to complete _Return,_ though this was a small sacrifice in comparison to the acquired skeleton that lurked in his home like a dark stain.

 

In the end, it was Rey that would have to work the hardest. Considering her inexperience, he hoped the location he had chosen would help.

 

Deep in Forest Park, a ruin fighting against the test of time and nature, a true testament to the family that had once lived there. Witch’s Castle had been abandoned years ago but its walls still stood, a dense layer of spongy, green moss hiding old stone. While the place was regularly visited by tourists during the day, locals knew better than to go near the place once dusk settled. Their fear was instinctive and many believed Witch’s Castle was haunted, but Kylo suspected the untouched would try to tear the ruin down if they realized its true purpose.

 

Amongst the trees, it was the beating heart of the forest. For a witch, it served to enhance abilities.

 

He led the way up a stone staircase to the roofless upper-level, the sky falling into darker hues above them, the wife clacking with every wooden step. Rey was skittish, flashing hazel eyes flitting from the stalking skeleton to the ruins towering above her.

 

Once standing in the center of the room, he uttered quietly to the wife, “In terram reverte.”

 

She collapsed, clattering over stone in a heap of soulless, stark bone.

 

Kylo went through the motions of arranging the circle without thinking too much, shuffling the wife’s remains about and setting out virgin candles made of yellow wax and the blooms of dittany of crete, both from his personal supply.

 

Just as the first ritual had, they required the sacrifice of blood once more. Rey and Phasma watched in solemn silence as he crushed berries of the belladonna plant into a bowl, then raised his arm above it, slashing through pale flesh and catching the crimson spill.

 

“Rey, I need some of yours, too,” he murmured, wrapping a bandage around his wound and hissing as he tightened the knot.

 

She lurked closer, head ducked in trepidation, fur standing on end. Kylo offered her his hand and she placed a paw in its center. Rey made a pained whimper at the sear of his blade, her blood streaming to steep with his in the bowl.

 

Phasma stopped him before he could place it in the center of the circle. “Take mine as well; the blood of a woman.”

 

He almost argued--how was she going to explain a fresh cut to Hux? Kylo decided against it when catching the sharp glint of her eyes. And so the three bloods; blood of the animal, blood of the caster, blood of the woman, formed a potent solution with the poisonous berries, noxious fumes releasing into the damp, night air and stinging his eyes.

 

Kylo set the bowl into the circle, directing Rey to join it with a nod, and lit the candles with the snap of his fingers.

 

He breathed deep, exhaling to say, “You need to drink it all.”

 

It was as if he could feel it burning in his own throat, could taste the acrid, salty tang and bitter plant on his tongue but Rey was determined. Eighty years as a cat was long enough. It was time she completed _Return_. She choked through the mixture in its entirety.

 

This was it. Weeks of research and feline antics, and finally Rey would be human again. He stood, back straight, his uncle’s book held open in his palm and his other hand hovering over the circle of bones.

 

“Visualize who you are, who you were, who you will be. Focus on that image and repeat after me.”

 

Her body bowed in pain, the toxic draught taking effect, and she trembled against it. _I’m ready._

 

Pride and grief swelled in his chest. She hadn’t asked for this fate and she didn’t deserve to be forced to endure a horrid ritual all over again, but Rey was strong. She was a survivor and she would endure. Despite what he’s gone through to help her, Kylo was so glad he had found her in that alleyway.

 

“I return now--”

 

_I return now--_

 

The yellow candles spit wax as it burst with light, flames reaching towards the hanging moon in pillars.

 

“--to myself--”

 

_\--to myself--_

 

The soft, pink blossoms of dittany of crete hissed and popped, small petals scorched black as they filtered to the ground. Rey wailed, though he could not see her through the fire.

 

Words caught in his throat, resisting against being spoken. This was dark magic, indeed. He forced them out with a shout.

 

“--to my birthright--”

 

_\--to my birthright--_

 

Bones cracked and splintered in the blistering heat, screams set loose into the night, ringing in his ears.

 

“--to my human form!”

 

_\--to my human form!_

 

Gasping, Kylo shielded himself from the blinding light that consumed everything in his field of vision.

 

When it faded and he lowered his arm from his face, there was a slender, shivering woman crouched over in a circle of ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the amazing feedback I've gotten for this fic! Every comment makes me smile. :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, grlie-girl for beta-reading! :)
> 
> As for the rest...I blame KagamiSorciere and ReyloRobin2011. You guys are a BAD influence. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The face turned up at him was slightly younger looking than Kylo had anticipated. Rey tilted her chin up towards him, long locks of auburn hair falling from her face, spilling down her shoulders and back as she remained utterly still, staring up at him.

 

It hadn’t gone perfectly, he realized. Kylo sucked in sharply as he met her too-hazel gaze, eyes still unsettling and round, her pupils narrowed to black slits. As his vision readjusted to the dim light, he could see that she still had a pair of furry, triangular ears at the top of her head, flat to her skull as she trembled.

 

Rey had spent--what, ten years as a human? She had still been a girl when Plutt first turned her into a cat. It must have been difficult to imagine the minute, human details after spending so long in feline form.

 

Her arms were thin but wiry with muscle; Rey pushed herself up from the ashes with an uncertainty to her movements. Her long legs wobbled, knees knocking together as she stood on her feet. Kylo’s gaze dropped from her face to the stretch of bared skin below. Dainty breasts heaved as she inhaled, her chest tapering to an even more narrow waist before swelling slightly along the curves of her hips, a flat belly descending into a soft V at the apex of her thighs, protected by coarse curls.

 

She swayed on her feet, knees buckling. Kylo dove to catch her.

 

Rey was still so small to him, even as a grown woman, and as her weight settled in his arms, Kylo was swept away by an irrational fear that came with holding something little and fragile. He could hurt her without meaning to; it was as if he was suddenly aware of the size of his own body, bulky and tall. It reminded him oddly of being a boy and holding a duck egg in his palm, able to sense the faint fluttering of life through the thin shell of enamel.

 

He lifted her gently, bracketing her with a steady yet tentative grip. Pink lips parted to show rows of pearly teeth.

 

“Kylo,” she breathed.

 

Nothing could have prepared him for the sound of her voice. Even with the low-spoken way she had said his name, he could hear the lilt of an English accent, something that wouldn’t have come across through thoughts. It had been as if she were putting words and feelings into his mind but to hear her voice was something else entirely.

 

“You were right,” Rey confessed, eyes falling to her navel in mild embarrassment. “It _is_ cold without fur.”

 

Kylo sputtered a laugh before he could stop himself. Rey was still Rey, regardless of her physical form. The reverent, awed hush that had filled him at first seeing her slipped away at her comment. He shouldn’t have expected any other change than that of her appearance.

 

Phasma stepped in with a pointed look, pulling a fleece blanket from her handbag--she must have put a bottomless charm on it--and throwing it over Rey’s naked figure. The message was clear: she had come along for a reason.

 

The wind picked up, throwing ash into the air as the first drops of oncoming rain pattered on their head. Rey shivered in his arms, even with the blanket tucked around her. Kylo knew it was only going to get colder.

 

“Let’s head home, then,” he murmured, watching as she curled into him, her face burrowing into his chest as she sought his warmth. Kylo could feel short puffs of her breath as it bled into his shirt.

 

* * *

 

 

Curiosity quelled by whatever she had witnessed, Phasma was quick to take leave once more, claiming that Hux was useless without her for even a day and that she would have him come around at some point. Phasma hated when they bickered, it seemed.

 

That left Kylo alone with Rey, who dropped the fleece blanket once the front door shut behind them. More comfortable standing on her legs, she stepped slowly into the open living room. Kylo flipped on the nearest switch, lighting her way. Her fingers trailed over the back of his striped couch and then along the wood shelf above it, careful to not tip over any of his jars as she approached his leather armchair and the windows along the wall behind it.

 

Rey tossed aside the curtains to look into his yard but it was too dark to see anything beyond the hydrangea bushes planted just outside the window, illuminated by inside lighting. Through loose, brown hair, his gaze followed the dip of her spine and the round of her backside. There was a long smear of soot from her curved bottom to the back of one thigh from when she had sat on the ground.

 

Kylo stooped to retrieve the blanket from the floor and made a point of not looking at her naked figure as he neared her. Rey’s arms were prickling with gooseflesh and he ignored the rosy, perked peaks of her nipples, so easy to see from over her shoulders as he wrapped the blanket around her once more.

 

She had always been a woman but Kylo had been able to look past that when she’d looked like a cat. Now the evidence of womanhood was quite literally in his face and he was no longer capable of pretending she was a harmless houseguest. It was difficult to process what further changes were to come.

 

“You’re still cold,” he commented.

 

He could see her bemused expression in the window’s reflection as she gazed up at him through the glass. “Are you pointing that out for fun or did you have a solution?”

 

Kylo snorted, “A solution.”

 

Though he suspected she wouldn’t appreciate the method that he had in mind. There was no helping it, Rey was covered with ash and her impossibly long hair was tangled. Eighty years of letting it grow meant it brushed her ankles yet Kylo sensed she would be unwilling to cut it. She would recognize the inconvenience of such long hair soon enough. Either way, she was in dire need of a bath.

 

Kylo supposed there was a benefit to their strangely frightening differences in size. In a wrestling match, the winner was obvious.

 

With that in mind and the blanket secure around her body, he snagged her from the floor and flung her over his shoulder. Rey shrieked, first out of surprise and then indignation, her limbs trapped within fleece layers.

 

“What are you _doing?”_ she snarled, struggling, _kicking,_ as he moved from the window. “I can walk on my own, you stupid giant--”

 

Rey managed to glance over her shoulder to see where he was headed, down the hall to the bathroom. She thrashed within the wrapped blanket.

 

“Don’t you dare!” Rey snapped. “You can’t make me--”

 

Kylo grunted as she kneed him in the gut, the arm he had curled around her waist tightening.

 

“You’re dirty,” he argued, kicking the door shut. He fumbled in the dark with one hand for the switch. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but you’re getting a wash.”

 

“This is the _easy_ way?”

 

Kylo grinned. “I could hose you down, but that wouldn’t really do much in the warming-up department.”

 

With her still thrown over his shoulder, Kylo bent to plug the tub drain with a rubber stopper and twisted the knob for hot water. It ran cold for a moment, then steadily heated to a comfortable temperature.

 

“You’re enjoying this,” she accused.

 

He hummed thoughtfully. “I have been called a sadist.”

 

She sniffed, having given up her heedless escape attempts, her limbs going limp as she hung like a rag. Kylo huffed to himself, setting her onto the floor at last. It seemed his fun was over.

 

Her gaze met his, her feline pupils widening in the ample light. She looked past him briefly to the shut door but determined that he was not going to let her anywhere near it. Rey closed her teeth around her quivering lower lip, moisture gathering in the pink corners of her eyes.

 

He wanted to laugh--all the dramatics over taking a bath? They really had come full circle. Next he knew, she would be calling him _mean_ again.

 

Kylo eyed the water level. Satisfied with the depth, he pried the blanket away from Rey and before she could try to scratch his eyes out, he scooped her naked body up and slid her into the tub. Her immediate, instinctive reaction was to squeal directly into his ear and tackle him.

 

Water sloshed over the ledge as she scrambled to get out. Kylo didn’t have the time to care how wet he got, he lunged forward to catch Rey, forcefully rolling her back and nearly falling in after her. Her skin was soft and slick to the touch, a fact he was stubbornly pretending to not notice, even as he gripped one hip to keep her seated, the other hand trying to unhook her fingers from the front of his sopping shirt.

 

Suddenly, she paused. Bewilderment twisted her features, her button nose going crooked and lips opening as she tried to make sense of her dilemma. While wet strands of hair clung to her shoulders and back, it was evidently quite different than being covered in fur and utterly waterlogged.

 

Rey blinked, retracting both hands as she stared down at the water lapping at her thighs. She scooped it up, then allowed it to trickle neatly over her bent knees.

 

“Not so bad now, is it?” he grumbled, unbuttoning his shirt to free himself of the clinging material.

 

She pursed her lips at him before mumbling, “Sorry.”

 

Kylo tossed the wet shirt aside; it landed with a slap on the tile floor. At least she wasn’t planning to fight him further on the issue of bathing. He’d take the casualties if it meant he’s won the war so quickly. He stood, damp pants sticking to his legs.

 

“Wait,” she said, once realizing he intended to leave her in privacy.

 

He wanted to change into sweatpants and get some sage burning in his study to start cleansing the residual mark of the wife, and surely she would want something to eat soon. Kylo hadn’t made the trip to the farmer’s market that day but he had some chicken thighs in the refrigerator, perhaps she would be willing to try something more sophisticated than pan-fried eggs and various meat scraps.

 

His thoughts were already circling around the bone-stock he’d made a few weeks back and the lemons sitting on his counter, maybe some fresh rosemary and--

 

“Help me,” she told him, adding a desperate moment later, _“please.”_

 

Her shoulders jutted forward pathetically, arms pulling her legs to her chest.

 

It was pitiful, how quickly he dropped back onto the bathroom rug.

 

* * *

 

Sorting her hair had been more than just a hassle. Rey had winced and grumbled as Kylo had scrubbed at the roots with his nails, then whined when he had lifted her own hands to her sudsy hair to help. After working conditioner into the lengthy waves, Kylo had twisted it into a coiled knot on the top of her head to keep it out of the way.

 

At that, he placed a cake of almond soap in one open palm and a washcloth in her other. Helping any further would be inappropriate, to say the least.

 

She blinked at the soap and cloth, then back at him. Surely she wasn’t expecting him to wash her body, too.

 

Rey thrust both items back into his hands.

 

She _did_ expect him to.

 

Of course, she did. Because this was Rey, and she had no reason to think of him any differently.

 

He shouldn’t have had a reason to think differently of _her,_ either. She may have changed physically, but in all other ways, Rey was very much the same. His fluster ebbed. He was acting like a boy and the very notion that the status quo had shifted was ludicrous.

 

Fine.

 

Kylo dunked the washcloth into the bathwater, now milky with rinsed shampoo.

 

Rey made a small humming noise as he swiped the wet cloth along her bicep and around her back, trailing warm water between her shoulder blades. The faint, downy hairs along her spine stood on end when he pulled the washcloth away, the cold air contrasting with the water. Still, she sighed, leaning against the back of the tub as he squeezed the cloth out over her chest and abdomen.

 

Without words, he gently directed her to move around as he scrubbed her skin until it flushed, hesitating only when she slumped into the bathwater, an expectant look on her face and her breasts dutifully neglected.

 

She was utterly without shame, however, so there seemed to be little sense in being embarrassed by her unbothered nudity. Kylo had never considered himself to be a prude but she seemed to bring that out of him without trying.

 

Rey let her eyes slip shut as he covered a breast with one palm, the only thing between his hand and the suppleness of her chest being the warm washcloth. She made another soft, contented sound as he soaped her slippery skin, his hand rubbing in careful circles, and it occurred to him that she was purring--or at least this was as close to purring as she could get in her human form.

 

He floundered at this realization, the cloth slipping to her belly, his thumb accidentally brushing over the silky pink of her nipple. It budded under his touch, sensitive skin darkening as it rose to a point.

 

Kylo caught himself before he could skim his finger over her nipple a second time, confusion roiling in his gut.

 

What the hell was _wrong_ with him? He saw a nice pair of tits and now he couldn’t control himself?

 

He swallowed back his own disbelief and hurriedly snatched the cloth from where it was floating aimlessly in the tub, his movements strict with purpose as he finished washing her chest.

 

Kylo detached the shower head to rinse the conditioner from her hair, which cascaded back into the bathwater under the steady spray. She didn’t ask him to run the washcloth between her thighs and he certainly didn’t offer. He occupied himself with wringing out her hair as she cleaned herself with quiet splashes.

 

“We need to give you a haircut at some point,” he muttered.

 

She shot him a warning look from over her shoulder as he gathered what he could of her brown hair in a towel.

 

“It’s pretty,” she countered, her tone meek.

 

Kylo smiled, shaking his head in amusement. “You’re going to get irritated with it,” he promised.

 

Rey was silent, then added quietly, “I was never allowed to have long hair.”

 

He paused. There was so much about Rey’s life that he knew nothing about. He didn’t ask too much about what had happened with Plutt; Kylo had no desire to bring her unnecessary pain when it could be just as easily avoided.

 

Kylo unwrapped the towel to flop the damp material over her head, careful as he dried the roots of her hair and the short fur of her ears.

 

“You can have long hair,” he replied, “but you’ll be tripping over it the way it is now.”

 

To that, she didn’t seem to have an argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and for all the AMAZING feedback you've given me. Every comment makes my day. :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta, grlie-girl, for your support and encouragement! <3

The earthy, sweet smoke of dried sage helped. Kylo watched as white plumes curled into the air, exhaling as he felt the energy in his study shift for the better. It would take more than sage to properly purify the house but it was a start.

 

When he emerged from his study, having directed Rey to dress in _something,_ whatever she found most comfortable, he found her in the living room, looming over Leviathan’s vivarium with her back to him. She had found a loose, faded flannel which hung on her shoulders to show her clavicle and draped down her thin form, reaching past her thighs.

 

A nameless feeling--one he refused to label--twisted in his chest at the implied intimacy of a woman in his shirt. Kylo pushed the thought aside.

 

Her hand was splayed across the glass, Leviathan charging at the opposite pane in a hopeless attempt to escape.

 

“Are you _that_ hungry?” he asked, unable to resist teasing.

 

Her hair rustled as her head turned towards him sharply, her lips thinned in a flat, unamused line.

 

“I don’t like him,” she grumbled back. “He’s a pretentious little shit.”

 

Kylo snorted, and her answering put-out frown had him laughing.

 

“He thinks he’s better than me,” she insisted. “I can tell by the look in his eye.”

 

He stepped behind her to peel her palm from the glass, her wrist tiny within the hold of his fingers. He could feel the pitter of her pulse, thrumming like a bird’s wings under his thumb.

 

“Regardless, you’re going to give him a heart attack. Please don’t kill my shitty lizard.”

 

Rey tore her hand away.

 

She followed him into the kitchen and it was almost odd how little had changed in their interactions. Her footsteps were soft pats against linoleum. Rey propelled herself onto the counter with a learned grace. Kylo smiled. She still liked to watch and he found he couldn’t correct her. She belonged there, perched next to the stovetop with a watchful eye fixed on his hands.

 

His shirt hitched high over her thighs as she scooted her backside to the rounded edge of the counter, threatening to show whatever lay beneath. Kylo wasn’t sure if he wanted to know if she had bothered to wear something underneath; what he _did_ know was that he shouldn’t have been thinking about it at all. He almost wished Phasma had deigned to stay a little longer, just to act as a sort of balm to ease this uncomfortable transition between cat and woman.

 

Instead, Kylo settled for a fresh bout of disgust at his own lack of control.

 

Her legs dangled over the drawer of cooking utensils and he knocked against her bent knees more than once as he went back and forth between cabinets and the refrigerator and pantry, gathering ingredients. The large burner snapped a few times before glowing steady blue and he placed a cast iron braiser pan over the low flame.

 

It had been awhile since Kylo had done anything more in the kitchen than perfunctory cooking since Rey hadn’t been able to eat the rich flavors he usually preferred. Now that the dietary restrictions of being a cat were out the proverbial window, he could show her what he was really made of.

 

He finely chopped cloves of garlic, throwing them into the pan with a drizzling of olive oil, allowing it to sweat as he sliced his chicken thighs into strips. The meat hissed and spat when he dropped it into the hot oil and he tossed the pan by its handle, expertly flipping his ingredients.

 

“I need to get into that drawer,” he commented, even as he was reaching for the citrus juicer on the top shelf of a cabinet.

 

She didn’t hop off the counter as he anticipated but parted her knees instead, offering him space to open the drawer and little more. Kylo blinked in surprise.

 

_Fuck._ Had she any idea how that looked?

 

He grit his teeth and tugged on the handle between her legs, blindly snatching a wooden spoon and throwing the drawer closed again. Not thinking about it seemed to be his new coping mechanism.

 

She was unfazed by his hesitation, staring into the pan as she always did. That, at least, was a comfort. Rey was utterly oblivious and he hoped she stayed that way as he got ahold of himself.

 

Kylo juiced a lemon with excessive force, putting more muscle into twisting the fruit on the plastic spire than strictly necessary. It was enough of a distraction.

 

Surprise and curiosity flashed in her eyes as he poured the lemon juice in with the chicken. It bubbled instantly, deglazing the pan where bits of garlic had stuck, and Rey grinned wildly, fixated on the steaming liquid. Kylo was certain this was the first she had ever looked so pleased and of course, it was caused by his cooking.

 

“It’s a bit like magic,” she commented quietly, “watching you in the kitchen.”

 

Maybe it was because the transformation hadn’t been complete and she still had a pair of soft, feline ears on the crown of her head, or perhaps it was just a habit he would need to break, but without another thought, Kylo reached his hand out to stroke her hair. Her ear twitched in surprise but she closed her eyes against the familiar weight of his palm and sighed.

 

He blinked back his own bewilderment once realizing that he was _petting_ her. When they had first met, Rey had hated that, and now she was relaxing under his hand, slender limbs languid.

 

Kylo pulled his hand away, clenching his fingers in a fist; this was too much for him. She should have been bothered by his behavior, he certainly was. He didn’t know what it meant that she wasn’t.

 

Exhaling slowly, he glared at the pan, congealed chicken stock slopping into the base with a low fizzle.

 

* * *

 

Kylo woke to a wavy lock of brown hair tickling his nose.

 

Rey had followed him to bed without question or hesitation. This shouldn’t have been at all surprising to him, considering she had spent several nights now curled up on his pillow. He hadn’t put too much thought into sleeping arrangements but he hadn’t anticipated sharing the bed.

 

He hadn’t had the heart to tell her _no,_ that she needed to sleep on the couch now that they were both human, and he wasn’t about to stay up all night with his feet hanging over the armrest. There was no other option but to sleep together.

 

Even in his head, it sounded _wrong_.

 

He had never been particularly skilled at making excuses, even to himself. Kylo wasn’t convinced he liked this pitiful creature he was quickly morphing into around her, yet he had no intention of doing a single thing to change the situation. He had cast his lot with Rey, and he didn’t regret it.

 

Kylo could smell his shampoo in her hair, a gentle, pine scent that seemed fitting, somehow. Careful to not jostle her, he propped himself up on his elbows. She was sleeping with half of her hair caught under her body, something that would have irritated him into wakefulness, though she hardly seemed to have any qualms if her soft snores were anything to go by.

 

His lips tilted in a secret smile. It was thoughtless, the way his fingers found her hair again, combing through it slowly in tandem with her breathing.

 

This--whatever it was--was peaceful, perhaps more so than anything Kylo had ever experienced before. He was tempted to sink back into the bedding and draw her close. It was inappropriate, he was well aware, but Kylo found himself moving before he could come to his senses and stop himself.

 

She was still so small to him, her warmth and new solidness an odd thing to notice. Rey shifted and he froze, fearing he had woken her, but she settled down once more with a snuffled sigh, relaxing under the weight of his arm, now resting on the dip of her waist. It was too intimate, he should pull away, yet he could feel as she steadily inhaled and exhaled and he was utterly enraptured.

 

Rey was a pretty thing; this realization spread an unpleasant heat in his chest, now uncomfortably tight.

 

She was more than pretty.

 

Kylo breathed deep, forcing calm upon himself. This wasn’t right. If Rey knew what he was thinking, she’d...what? Swish her tail at him? Hiss? He hardly knew, anymore. She still had nails. He wouldn’t put it past her to use them.

 

At that, Kylo tore his arm away, carefully extracting himself from her side and slipping from his bed.

 

He’d take the couch, after all.

 

* * *

 

Kylo woke a second time, not to a face of brown hair but a _person_ sitting on his chest. His eyes shot open wildly, a startled wheeze escaping his lips from between clenched teeth.

 

Rey was perched on his torso, legs crossed and hands cupping either of his cheeks, the front of his shirt still mercifully maintaining her modesty. Kylo still wasn’t sure she was wearing anything under the flannel, and _this_ certainly wasn’t the way he wanted to find out.

 

“You’re sleeping on the couch,” she uttered, slowly pronouncing each word as if she were trying to make sense of him.

 

He blinked up at her, face bracketed by her palms. “I _was_ sleeping on the couch,” Kylo groused, wiping the crustiness from his eyes with the pad of his thumb.

 

Her head tilted at him, her bewilderment not disguised. “Why?”

 

Kylo hardly knew what to say. _The truth? I was worried about waking up with my morning wood pressed into that perfect, peach-shaped backside of yours._ He couldn’t imagine that going over very well and shook the thought away.

 

Wait. _Perfect?_

 

No. Later. He couldn’t think about that now. He shouldn’t be thinking about it at all.

 

The truth was dangerous. He lied instead. “Your hair was in the way.”

 

Her face fell. Saying that had been a mistake. Of course, it had. She equated long hair with beauty and had already made it obvious she liked it at its current length, ridiculous as it was.

 

“Not that I don’t like it,” he tried to amend himself, though by her expression she wasn’t buying it. “I just didn’t want to get tangled and end up tearing it out on accident.”

 

Rey stared down at him, silently appraising the warmth that was spreading over his cheeks. He wasn’t a liar. He’d never been good at it and Kylo wasn’t particularly fond of anyone that _was_. She sensed this but decided against pointing it out.

 

Rey was much too clever for the likes of him.

 

“I’m not a very convincing human,” she whispered.

 

Now she was speaking about more than her hair. He was somewhat surprised she hadn’t brought it up sooner, the fact that she had lingering feline features. It hadn’t bothered Kylo and he was amazed that she had been able to transform with as much ease--though really, _Return_ had been anything but easy--as she had. Did she assume he thought less of her, for not getting it completely right?

 

“That’s okay,” he told her, and he meant it. “You were a cat for a very long time, of course some details will be forgotten. I think you make an amazing human.”

 

Her hands moved from his face to touch her ears, doubt flashing in her eyes. “Really?”

 

Kylo could only offer an assuring smile. “Really.”

 

She craned her neck, arching towards him, and for a moment he panicked. Was she actually about to kiss him? Surely she realized the significance of a kiss--her forehead pressed into his instead with a light butt. His nose flared, eyes round in shock at their close proximity.

 

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

 

Rey deliberated for a few seconds before adding, “If I cut my hair, can we sleep in the bed again?”

 

He really had backed himself into a corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kylo. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback! Every comment is appreciated.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being such an awesome beta reader, grlie-girl! <3
> 
> NOTE THE CHANGE IN RATING. There is some nsfw content ahead.

Kylo sat across from Rey on the floor, breakfast warm in their bellies. Her hair was splayed around her, a blanket of rich, soft brown. She rolled her shoulders and popped her joints as if preparing for a long jog rather than another attempt at transforming.

 

“The key is focus,” he told her, _Byrth and Transformation: Therian Magicks_ open in his lap. Focus seemed to be something they could both use. “You need a clear image in your mind. Picture every detail: the color of your skin, the folds of cartilage, the proper placement on your head.”

 

Her eyes were shut, frustration at his instruction obvious on her face as her brows knit together.

 

“I’m _trying,”_ she muttered back.

 

Kylo frowned. “Don’t try to force it out, it needs to be natural.”

 

Rey huffed. “You aren’t really helping.”

 

He resolved to be silent, in that case. If she had a question, Kylo had to trust that she would ask. He shouldn’t have found her constipated expression so amusing--she  _really_  was doing her best--Kylo had to muffle a snort in his palm.

 

“What?” she snapped, hazel eyes opening to glare at him.

 

He huffed, offering a lopsided grin as an apology. “There is such a thing as trying too hard, you know.”

 

Kylo expected her to lash out again and complain that his comments weren’t useful, which he knew was true, but he hardly had much else to suggest. There wasn’t much precedence for teaching a Therian how to _be_. Transformation had been spliced into her blood; he’d always assumed it was an instinctive magic.

 

Instead, Rey rose to her knees and leaned towards him, burying her hands into his hair with wordless determination. Her gaze was studious, and he realized she wasn’t merely touching his hair but brushing it aside to stare at his ears. He stilled when Rey crept closer, turning his face to the side to look straight on.

 

Kylo shivered as she traced the shell of his ear with the thin edge of her nail. At their current proximity, he could smell Earl Grey on her breath (she had insisted on tasting tea, now that she could) and his own almond soap on her skin, mixed with pine shampoo and the faint scent of detergent lingering on his shirt. It was both mundane and heady, though perhaps the dizziness was caused by her.

 

He winced when she pinched his earlobe as if measuring the width of his flesh. “Rey--”

 

She shushed him, turning his head again to look at his other ear, giving it the same clinical treatment.

 

Once satisfied by her observations, Rey settled back down on her haunches, looking him hard in the eye.

 

Her eyelashes fluttered as she took meditative breaths. He watched the ripples of change, her cat ears sinking into wild hair and a new pair of human ones presumably growing from the sides of her head, hidden by auburn waves. She pushed her hair over her shoulders, tentatively touching along the curve of her jaw to find her ears in place.

 

A grin burst on her face. “Does it look right?”

 

Stunned, he gripped her chin and tilted her face to admire her work.

 

“It looks perfect,” he assured.

 

She was a quick learner and he recalled something Phasma had told him, the day he had brought Rey home. _If you really want to help her, make her your apprentice._

 

Rey would be a talented apprentice, he sensed. If only he was worthy of being her teacher.

 

* * *

 

She had gotten used to regular sleep and Kylo didn’t begrudge her desire for a midmorning nap. He had seen it coming by the way her eyes drooped and was unsurprised when she slumped over on the couch, her head resting on the end nearest to his armchair. He covered her with a throw blanket and snickered when she reached for his hand to place it on her head.

 

_It’s safe,_ she had told him. Her mumbled comment spread warmth across his face and chest, even now, as she quietly snored.

 

He had the curtains open and for once the sun was peeking through the cloud cover. The solar light caught her hair, giving it a lovely sheen of glowing red. Kylo remained by her side, glancing between the age-stained pages of a manuscript on apprenticeships and his own fingers, flexing in her hair.

 

Could he teach her? For weeks he had avoided this question. It wasn’t as if she had anyone else to turn to and she needed guidance.

 

His heart wrenched at the thought.

 

Kylo wasn’t entirely certain where he was supposed to start. She had been an apprentice before but whatever instruction Plutt had offered seemed minimal, a shame. He wondered who she might have been if she had properly finished her training and he had met her elsewhere. Kylo imagined her with tanned skin and desert wrappings. He sensed she was more than capable and perhaps that was the reason Plutt had kept her under his thumb so cruelly; Kylo couldn’t picture a witch with Plutt’s reputation accepting that his apprentice would surpass him.

 

He moved his thumb in slow circles against the crown of her head, watching as her eyelashes fluttered in slumber. _It’s safe._ Those words kept cycling in his thoughts. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had said they felt safe around him. Had anyone ever?

 

Kylo didn’t consider himself to be particularly _dangerous,_ but there was no denying his tendency to keep others at a distance. He lived a solitary life and was comfortable continuing on in a similar fashion, though, as he stroked the soft waves of her hair, Kylo recognized the fact that Rey wasn’t likely to allow that.

 

He stifled a quiet laugh, embarrassed by his own amusement.

 

Light settled on his shoulders, warm as the sun continued to rise, and he gave up on pretending to read. Kylo set aside the manuscript, slumping slightly in his chair. It was going to be a nice day, he thought, idly listening to a small plane blaze through the sky thousands of feet overhead.

 

Rey made his couch look comfortable, the way she snoozed so effortlessly on its lumpy cushions, her figure curled in on itself. Kylo pushed her hair away from her face to expose one of her ears, admiring the appendage with pride and a second, elusive emotion. With a tentative finger, he traced along the shell of her ear, for a moment wondering what the soft, fleshy lobe would feel like between his lips.

 

He shook the dangerous thought free, huffing as his palm settled in her hair once more.

 

One of his neighbors had bought a chime. It sang a lazy tune of reverberating tones as the morning breeze filtered through, knocking its slender tubes against the center clapper. Someone drove by with their windows cracked open, an upbeat hit bouncing off the parallel facades of facing houses. Kylo blinked slowly; perhaps Rey had the right idea in mind by taking a post-breakfast nap.

 

His fingers stilled in her hair, his head drooping.

 

Kylo nearly jumped at the sound of his phone ringing. He scrambled to pry it out of his pocket, scowling at Mitaka’s name once realizing who was calling.

 

“What?” he hissed, keeping his voice low in the hopes of letting Rey sleep a little longer.

 

Mitaka cut to the chase, “I have someone on the phone for you. She’s insisting she speak to you specifically, Sir.”

 

Kylo frowned--this had better not be Phasma having her fun. “Who is she, do you know?”

 

“She wouldn’t give her name,” Mitaka answered slowly, hesitating to add, “She sounded authoritative. Has...has something happened? Something I should know?”

 

“No,” he quietly assured. Kylo had his suspicions, but couldn’t be sure until he went down to the shop himself.

 

He shot a nervous glance towards Rey, who was slowly beginning to stir at the sounds of quiet conversation. He didn’t want to believe it had anything to do with her but Kylo couldn’t deny the possibility. Who could have given him away, though? Hux and Phasma were trusted to at least keep silent and Luke wouldn’t want to put Rey in any danger. He wasn’t sure who else could know.

 

“Well,” Mitaka muttered, “this is the second time she’s called in an hour. Should I keep her on hold or tell her to call back again later?”

 

Rey whined as she stretched out her limbs, joints popping and little noises of pleasure rumbling in the back of her throat. Kylo swallowed, meeting her eyes as she gradually sat, expression bleary.

 

“What’s going on?” Rey mumbled, voice cracking with sleep. Kylo smiled despite himself.

 

To Mitaka, he finally answered, “Tell our mystery client that she’ll have to wait. I’ll be by the shop at around noon. She can call back then.”

 

* * *

 

Rey was restless as he made ready to leave. He felt guilty when he shut the bathroom door to shower but he had a rather _pressing_ matter to take care of and privacy was a must. Kylo grimaced at his reflection in the mirror, turning his face to look at either side of his profile; really, what he could use was a shave.

 

Kylo stepped into the tub and turned the lever for hot water. Once steam had permeated the small room, he looked down, sighing to himself.

 

It had been a while since he had taken himself in hand, even longer since he’d been with a woman. Rey, with her casual nudity and oblivious seduction, was a cruel reminder of this fact. She was so physically _close_ yet utterly unobtainable, and hot anticipation pumped in his blood because of it. He felt like an adolescent, needy and hormonal.

 

Fine. If that was how life was going to be moving forward, Kylo would just have to deal with it himself. It wasn’t as if he could bring a woman home, not with Rey lurking nearby and entirely too inquisitive for her own good. Here he was, a grown man with no choice but to resort to jerking himself off in the shower.

 

With a depreciating frown, Kylo wrapped his hand around the base of his cock and gave a merciless _squeeze_. Hot water beat against his bare back and he choked on a moan, eyes following the tight pumps of his fist. Absentmindedly, he wished other fingers were curled around him, another palm sliding up and down. A little hand attached to a slender wrist, only just able to reach around his girth, he imagined.

 

Or a small mouth, pink lips glistening with saliva as it took every inch of his length, he thought, teeth clenched to hold in another pathetically pleased sound.

 

Or a pert ass, jutting upward to expose the swollen folds of a perfect pussy at the apex of trembling thighs, long hair flowing over his bed--

 

Kylo grunted, hips jolting at that tempting, _tormenting_ image.

 

His fingers clenched around his cock as he roughly tugged at himself, his breath catching.

 

_Fuck_.

 

He thrust into his hand, gulping as he sped towards his climax, unable to clear the fantasy of Rey spread open like delicacy on his pillows, her hair as wild as when she first stepped from the circle and her legs parted to him, her sex dripping with arousal. He’d make her scream herself hoarse. He’d fuck her until she left his bed limping. He’d taste every bit of skin, kiss every--

 

Kylo muffled a groan, leg muscles shaking as he swiftly stumbled over the edge, his come dribbling over his fingers.

 

He wouldn’t do any of those things. He couldn’t.

 

He finished in the shower after watching his semen disappear down the drain and trailed water across the wood flooring when he snuck back into his bedroom to dress, shutting it before Rey could follow.

 

At least she was understanding when he said he couldn’t take her. Rey wasn’t ready to emerge from the safety of his home and with this new discovery, Kylo was thankful for the brief time he would have to himself.

 

There was no denying it, he was attracted to her. Kylo couldn’t avoid it, not now. He would always want what he couldn’t have.

 

Mitaka was at the register when he reached the shop, helping a customer check out. He stuck his head out to look around the young woman, anxiety obvious on his face.

 

“She called again five minutes ago, Sir,” he said, even before the door fully shut behind Kylo. “I left her on hold.”

 

Kylo ran a hand through his hair, steadying himself. “Thank you, Mitaka. I’m getting it now.”

 

In his office, the phone was blinking. His gut instinct told him to hang up. Somehow, he knew he didn’t want to speak to whoever was on the line. Courtesy forced him to grip the receiver and press the hold button regardless.

 

Calmly, he uttered, “Kylo Ren, owner of _Ren’s Spice & Herb Supply,_ how may I help you?”

 

There was a relieved, almost disbelieving sigh and at last, “Ben, you need to come home.”

 

Panic roared in his ears, his eyes blown wide open. He should have hung up and blocked the number. He was in danger. _Rey_ was in danger.

 

It was his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for all your feedback! :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to my beta, grlie-girl!! I really needed the encouragement to post this chapter. :)

“How did you get this number?” Kylo quietly seethed into the receiver.

 

Not even Luke knew exactly where he worked. He hadn’t told anyone what, precisely, he did. Had she been investigating him? The thought shouldn’t have been so surprising but Kylo couldn’t fully ignore the sting of insult, that she would treat him like a common criminal.

 

His mother exhaled again, her voice turning sharp. “You’re my son. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t want to know where you’re living? That I wouldn’t look into your little business?”

 

Panic dropped into his stomach.

 

“You had _no_ right to--”

 

His mother promptly cut him off. “I don’t want to argue with you, Ben. This isn’t about you and me, it’s about your father.”

 

Kylo had nothing to say. They had gone their separate ways after his father’s funeral and he had no intention of looking back. His mother always _had_ had issues with letting things go. She already knew the worst of his sins, it was shocking she was willing to even speak to him.

 

Once realizing he was disinclined to say anything more, his mother continued, her tone softening with sentiment.

 

“It will be a hundred years since your father passed in a few months. I know you haven’t visited him since…” she faltered, and Kylo could hear _since the day he was buried_ on the tip of her tongue. His mother retried. “Your uncle and I are planning to visit him on the centennial. I want you to come with us.”

 

“I am in no way obligated to go _anywhere_ with you.”

 

He hardly knew why she would want to see him, anyway. It wasn’t as if she had done much to reach out in the past century. In that regard, she was worse than Luke. Kylo suspected she was much too preoccupied with the council to concern herself with _him_.

 

It was his mother’s turn to be silent. She deliberated for a long moment, then spoke with a steely tone.

 

“I want you to bring your girlfriend with you.”

 

Kylo nearly dropped the phone. Blood rushed in his ears, his eyes wide as they stared at nothing.

 

His mother _did_ know about Rey. He could think of no one else she could be referring to.

 

His voice lowered dangerously, “How did you find out about her?” then in a hiss, “What did you do?”

 

She was nonchalant in her answer. “It seemed you were avoiding my calls. I had one of my assistants stop by to see if you were at home. You never make things easy, Ben.”

 

Kylo’s fingers trembled as he tore them through his hair.

 

“He saw a woman through the window, but when he knocked at the door, she wouldn’t answer.”

 

“Stay away from her,” he snarled, not willing to hear another word before hanging up the office phone with a forceful _clack_. To Mitaka, he barked, “Watch the shop! If she calls again, hang up!”

 

Rey was alone with one of his mother’s lackeys just outside the front door. He had promised to protect her and he was failing spectacularly. How could he be so foolish? Kylo never should have left her at home--shouldn’t have assumed she would be safe there.

 

Within his next breath, he transported home.

 

* * *

 

Kylo almost wished his mother’s assistant had been waiting by his door, just so he could break the man’s nose for peering through his windows. He was not so lucky.

 

He barged through the front door, looking around the living room wildly. Moments later, a small, furry body charged for him, giving a feline cry as her claws scratched the wood floors. Rey, reverted to her other form, climbed his limbs, scraping skin through his jeans, shivering as Kylo curled his arms to hold her to his chest.

 

She had been hiding behind his leather chair again, he realized, grief clenching in the space between his lungs. Her thoughts were jumbled in fear, incoherent.

 

“It’s okay now,” he swore, cradling her head to him. “I’m not going to let that happen again.”

 

This wasn’t a promise that he could keep, he knew the moment it had slipped past his teeth. He closed his eyes, firmly pressing his lips to the little patch of gray fur between her triangular ears. When it came to Rey, it seemed he couldn’t help himself. Her claws were still distended, hooking into his shirt and scratching his chest, but Kylo felt nothing but her weight, so impossibly light in his hold.

 

He fell to his knees, still only steps through the front door.

 

_I undid all of our hard work. I can’t even stay human for a day--_

 

Kylo stroked the raised hair along her spine, feeling woefully unequipped to comfort her.

 

“You didn’t,” he whispered back. “You’re supposed to go back and forth, Rey. This was my fault, not yours.”

 

He had allowed her to become so terrified. Kylo began to question whether or not he should have told her how dangerous her existence was, though allowing her to remain ignorant was hardly better. She could have opened the door and then where would they be? On their way to a council hearing, undoubtedly. Rey didn’t deserve to live in such fear and he couldn’t help but to feel responsible. He may not have turned her into a therian, but he wasn’t doing all he could to keep her safe.

 

It seemed Kylo had no choice. She had to learn how to defend herself and he was the only available teacher.

 

Resolving himself, he quietly asked, “Do you remember how to return?”

 

Her answer was soft. _Yes_.

 

Kylo nodded sitting back on his calves, the thick, sturdy heels of his boots digging into his backside. “Do you want me to help?”

 

Again, _Yes_.

 

Her mind was so receptive to his, words hardly seemed necessary. She exhaled as he remembered for her the tangled length of her brown hair, the curve of her ear and of her lips, the small swells of her chest. He thought of the freckles that smattered her cheeks and the rounds of her shoulders. Kylo pieced together as complete an image of her as he could, pushing it into her head and hoping she couldn’t sense the disconcerting warmth he felt, recalling the details of her skin.

 

She still felt too tiny when she settled against his lap, her thighs squeezing his hips, her arms coiling around his neck as she tipped her face out of sight, sniffling into his collarbone. Kylo couldn’t prevent a shudder from trilling down his spine but she burrowed deeper, oblivious.

 

Her mind still felt close and somehow, it seemed more intimate than before. Thank you, she tiredly thought.

 

“You’re welcome,” he said, his voice sounding loud in the silence of holding her.

 

Kylo remained as respectful as he could, ignoring her unembarrassed nakedness.

 

“There was a man,” she whispered. “He knocked at the door. I...I just…”

 

He hushed her, pressing a second kiss to her forehead, not anticipating the _zing_ of excitement he felt at brushing his lips against her skin. Kylo pushed it down, refusing to allow his thoughts to linger out of sheer stubbornness.

 

“I know,” he replied. “My mother sent him.”

 

Her muscles stiffened under his touch. “I didn’t know what to _do_. Kylo, I don’t even know if he saw me change--I probably just ruined everything--I just panicked--”

 

Kylo interrupted, arms tightening around her slender waist. “Rey, stop. This was my fault, not yours.”

 

“But--”

 

He made a low shushing sound. “Really, Rey. I’m the one to blame. I haven’t been preparing you for situations like this when I should have started teaching you before we even completed _Return_. I’ll rectify that now.”

 

She pulled back slightly, just far enough to look at him, her head tilting to the side curiously. “What do you mean?”

 

Kylo resisted the urge to look lower than the pink velvet of her pert lips. It was more difficult than it should have been.

 

“I’m going to make you my apprentice.”

 

Rey physically recoiled, tearing herself free from his hold with a sharp tug, landing with her backside to the floor. He stared down at her in surprise, trying to not feel insulted by her repulsed reaction.

 

“I’m not sure that I want to learn more,” she told him, chin upturned in defiance.

 

Kylo gritted his teeth. Of course she had to resist him. “Considering your situation, I’m afraid you don’t have much of a choice.”

 

“I’m not going to do it. I didn’t ask to become a witch, Kylo. All I’ve ever wanted was to be human and now I am.”

 

She stood in a graceful, upward lunge, scowling down at him.

 

He returned it with a glare of his own. “If you’re trying to make a point, just spit it out.”

 

Rey bared her teeth at him like a feral creature, bending forward to bring their faces closer, her hair spilling over her shoulders and into his lap. “When I left Plutt, I told myself I would _never_ allow another person to call themselves my master. I don’t care who it is, I won’t be anyone’s apprentice,” she seethed.

 

She straightened her back, swiftly turning away from him and taking long strides towards the shirt she had been wearing earlier. She scooped it off the floor, gaze fixed on something on the other side of the window.

 

“If the only reason you decided to help me is because you wanted an apprentice, then I’ll go,” she said, voice cracking at the end.

 

How had their conversation deteriorated so quickly?

 

“Rey--”

 

She pulled the flannel over her head, feeding her hair through the collar and shaking it loose.

 

“I’ve been on my own for a long time. I think you must have, too.”

 

She turned, her expression resolved. If he didn’t do something to stop her, Rey was fully prepared to walk through his front door and disappear. Kylo may not have known her for very long, but he knew that was something he absolutely couldn’t allow. She was cruel to thrust herself so entirely into his life and then decide, in the span of a few, short minutes, that she could leave.

 

He pushed himself to his feet. “I won’t let you.”

 

“You won’t _let_ me?” she repeated, gaining volume. “Don’t confuse yourself, Kylo. I’m not some pet for you to toy with. I have every right to go _wherever_ I want!”

 

Frustration boiled under his skin. He was willing to give her all that he had, years upon years of study and discipline, regardless of how much he dreaded teaching her anything.

 

She had played him like a fiddle. What he felt for her--whatever unnamed thing it was--clearly she didn’t feel the same. It didn’t matter, he told himself. Deep down, she really was too much like a cat. He had fed her and that had bought her loyalty; there was nothing more to it, and he was a fool for thinking otherwise.

 

“Where will you go, then?” he growled. “Back to the streets? Do you think it’s easy to be homeless?”

 

“Between the two of us, who do you think would know?” she snapped.

 

She was right, and Kylo knew that, but his temper was short and if there was one thing he couldn’t control, it was his mouth.

 

_“Fine,”_ he bellowed. “If it’s so much better living out there than with me, go right ahead!”

 

Hurt flashed across her face but she swiftly reeled it in, steeling herself. “I should never have come here. It was easier before I remembered what it’s like to be human. At least cats make sense.”

 

Rey stormed past him, marching out the door, and Kylo let her even though all she wore was his shirt.

 

She slammed the door and he shouted after her, “You’re the one that doesn’t make sense!”

 

There was no answer and somehow, having the last word didn’t satisfy him. He grabbed the closest thing, a coat hanger, and chucked it against the wall with a wordless roar. Jars came tumbling down from his shelves, shattering on the floor and sending dried herbs in every direction.

 

His chest heaved and for a long moment, he gazed at the destruction. Sorrow swept through him and Kylo realized he didn’t care if she didn’t feel anything for him. He still couldn’t let her go.

 

He threw open the door--maybe she hadn’t gotten too far--to find his shirt, crumpled on the front step. He had made a grievous mistake.

 

Rey was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you grlie-girl for being my beta! <3 And thank you korpssw/korppi8 for chatting with me about ideas for Hex!
> 
> AND THANK YOU EVERYONE ELSE, FOR HELPING ME REACH +10,000 HITS!!! (≧∇≦)/ I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for everyone that reads this fic <3

This was his fault. If Kylo hadn’t run his mouth, hadn’t reacted so violently to her walking out the front door, he was certain she would still be safe, perched on his couch with her hair splayed around her.

 

He stooped down to snatch his shirt off the ground. When he brought it up to his nose, it smelled of _her,_ so poignantly he could have wept.

 

She was on foot, he reminded himself. She couldn’t have gotten too far.

 

Kylo ran into the street, crying her name, tossing his head in every direction to catch sight of her, but it was no use.

 

Rey really was _gone_.

 

“Come back,” he pleaded to no avail. Even if she could hear him, Kylo doubted there was much he could say that would persuade her to turn around.

 

Rey was so damned stubborn and he’d scared her off.

 

His neighbor glanced at him through her blinds, then disappeared once realizing she had been caught. She was blissfully untouched, just as everyone else on his street. He was more than used to their skittishness and supposed he was only giving his neighbors more reason for concern by yelling in the middle of the road.

 

Kylo sighed, returning to the house.

 

In his anger, he had hurt her. Rey had accused him of being alone for too long, perhaps she was right. Kylo was unused to sharing his living space, he’d become even more uncompromising in his self-imposed isolation.

 

The door clicked shut behind him.

 

He felt oddly numb at the state of his living room. Shattered glass crunched under his boots as Kylo approached his armchair in resolute silence. The aged leather creaked under his weight and he stared at the mess. Somehow, in all the years he had lived on his own, he had never felt quite so _alone_.

 

It was pathetic, really, how stricken he was in the wake of her speedy departure. Rey had left with such ease and perhaps that was what crushed him most. Without a moment of hesitation, she had walked through the door.

 

Kylo remembered the look of pain she had given him and knew that wasn’t fully the truth. She had acted as if his offering to teach her had been a betrayal of trust. He mulled over what she had said and knew without a doubt that this was his doing.

 

He should have paused at her fear, taken a minute to remember exactly how she had come to be a therian in the first place. Her trust was a fragile thing and his offer had blindsided her; Rey didn’t understand that his interest in teaching her had nothing to do with maintaining control over her. She could be strong, all he wanted was to watch her powers come to fruition so she wouldn’t need him there to constantly protect her.

 

Above all else, Kylo wanted her to be safe.

 

Watching her walk from the protection of his home had been nothing short of counterintuitive.

 

He was tempted by the thought of letting her go. She had made her feelings perfectly clear and it wasn’t as if she couldn’t hold her own as it was--she had spent a full life as a cat on the streets without his help. It would certainly make his life easier.

 

Kylo realized he didn’t care how complicated she made his life. It was better for having her in it.

 

He took a deep breath, back straightening in his chair. With a broad sweep of his open palm, shards of glass clattered as glinting pieces shot through the air. They puzzled themselves back together, contents organized once more by plant species. His herb jars lined his shelves, seamlessly pieced together as if they had never broken in the first place.

 

With a sigh, he stretched to his feet, picking up his coat hanger and setting it by the door.

 

He had to get her back, yet he knew she wouldn’t be found if he went searching blindly. It occurred to Kylo that he needed help. He squared his shoulders, preparing himself.

 

* * *

 

Kylo dropped to kneel at the foot of his bed, crouching down to reach for a large wooden box he kept hidden beneath the metal platform.

 

It was sealed with a hardy, black wax he had melted with white lilac. Once broken, he recognized there could be consequences. Kylo had no patience to worry now, not when Rey was wandering the streets alone.

 

The wax crumbled as he pried the lid open. He was waking a memory, one that was no longer restrained by the barrier of death, and that was what it felt like, removing the seal that temporarily bound the bones resting in the box. It was like bringing some part of him, long dead, back to life, a sensation of warm contentedness spreading in his chest.

 

The bones rattled together, a long snout that ended with elongated incisors tilted up at him as it raised its head on skeleton shoulders. There was a ghostly snorting sound as bared nostrils brushed his chin.

 

Kylo smiled, and the old beast’s jaw dropped, an invisible tongue lagging. “Hey, boy. I missed you too.”

 

Chewbacca had been his father’s dog, there had never been any doubt of that. His father had enjoyed the hunt, and the bloodhound had proved to be a reliable companion over the years. Kylo had been an awkward child, however, and Chewie had been his best friend. He remembered sitting on the floor as a boy to bury his face in the folds of skin and fur around the massive hound’s shoulders, laughing as the dog shook, his drooping ears lashing his cheeks.

 

He had no ears to shake now, but Chewie could still sniff out anything.

 

Kylo returned to the living room, Chewie’s phalanges clicking lightly on the wood flooring as he followed him from the bedroom. He sat in his chair, plucking his flannel off the arm of the sofa as Chewie propped his front paws on his bent knees, vertebrae of his tail wagging with enthusiasm.

 

Dogs...now _they_ were understandable.

 

“I need you to find someone for me, okay, Chewie?” Kylo scratched the dog’s forehead, unable to keep the faint croon from his voice. “She’s very important.”

 

He held out the shirt she had worn and Chewie nudged it with his nose. He turned about in an instant, face lowering to the ground as he made slow circles around the room, stepping briefly into the kitchen and wandering the hall before trotting towards the front entrance. Confident that her scent had been caught, Kylo let Chewie through the door before he could start scratching.

 

Kylo watched him snuffle at his front step, where the shirt had been abandoned, before cutting across the front lawn to follow her trail. Chewie paid him no notice as he jogged after him.

 

When he reached the end of his street, Kylo realized following on foot was impractical. Chewie had galloped away and even if he were to sprint, Kylo knew it was unlikely he’d catch the hound before Rey was tracked down. Instead, he would wait.

 

Chewie would find Rey.

 

He had to believe that. The alternative was unthinkable.

 

While it had been a clear, sunny morning, clouds were creeping from the west as he looked to the sky, threatening to wash away her scent. Kylo could only hope Chewie could outrun the impending rain, too.

 

* * *

 

The howl rang out, a beacon burning in the back of his skull.

 

Kylo had been furiously pacing the stretch of sidewalk next to his house, but in an instant, he was transported elsewhere, following the signal to an alleyway, not unlike the one he had first discovered Rey in.

 

Chewie’s head was thrown back, his mandible wobbling as he continued to call for him. Kylo finally answered with a sharp whistle and the hound dropped his snout, stepping back to show off his success.

 

Rey had flattened herself against a wall, her fur on end and her back arching to make her look larger, and she hissed as he stepped closer to pat the crown of Chewie’s skull. Kylo would have to reward him later, he mused.

 

_You sent a_ dog _after me?_ Her scathing question was swiftly followed by an accusation. _You hunted me down like a god damned rabbit! Is all of this just a game to you?_

 

Kylo crouched down, his expression stern. “I’m not playing, Rey.”

 

This had evidently been the wrong thing to say because she flinched, slinking a few inches back along the wall. He sighed, shoulders slumping; why couldn’t she trust him? What did he have to do for her to believe he only wanted to protect her? Suddenly, he felt exhaustion seep into the marrow of his bones, saturating his voice with a soft lilt.

 

“Come home,” he murmured, _“please.”_

 

Rey stared at him with wide eyes, her pupils narrowed to slits. When he reached a hand to stroke the gray fur behind her ears, she swiped at him with distended claws, a low yowl caught in her throat. Kylo clenched his teeth, frowning as he eyed the parallel lines of blood she had carved into the back of his hand.

 

_I’m not going back. I can take care of myself._

 

“Why can’t you understand that I’m trying to keep you safe?”

 

Her thought came tumbling into his mind as if he wasn’t meant to know, settling heavily. _I was safer before anyone knew I existed._

 

His fingers curled into tight fists, blood steadily streaming from her scratches as he tensed his muscles. Kylo realized that it was true, she had been protected by ignorance while living on the streets, but going back to that life wouldn’t mean returning to safety.

 

Kylo worked his jaw, for a moment unable to speak. “Do you wish I’d never found you?”

 

He expected a swift, frank answer. Kylo waited for a soft, regretful _yes_ or a resolute _no,_ but neither came. Instead, she considered him, quietly tilting her head at an angle.

 

_I wish…_ she hesitated, uncertain. _I wish you hadn’t ruined everything._

 

Her response stung, but he couldn’t help the bark of laughter that burst from his chest at her brutal, unapologetic honesty.

 

“I should sew my mouth shut, considering the trouble it gets me in,” he muttered to himself, helplessly combing through his hair. “Is there any way I can fix this?”

 

She skittered back again, spreading the space between them. _No_.

 

He floundered, briefly glancing over at Chewie--Kylo had released him in desperation and when he was punished for it, it would be for nothing--before his gaze settled back on Rey’s retreating figure.

 

“You won’t even let me try?” he whispered.

 

_No_ , Rey repeated, eyes falling to her paws. _I don’t see much of a point, now that I know what you really want._

 

How dare she sound so heartbroken? Kylo was the one that had been left behind. He was the one that tried to give her everything, only to be utterly rejected.

 

“What _I_ want?” he sneered. “All I want is to protect you! I don’t know what I have to do to prove that to you, but from the moment we met, that’s all I’ve wanted!”

 

Chewie whined, lowering to the ground to rest his exposed jaw on his crossed front legs, his tail still gradually swinging in the air as he waited for Kylo’s attention. Her continual silence felt like a slap. With a shaky sigh, Kylo pushed himself back onto his feet.

 

“I’m not looking for an apprentice,” he finally said. “In fact, I told myself I’d never take one. So, if you think this is some kind of power play--”

 

Gaping eyes darted up at him. _What?_

 

_“--If that’s what you think,”_ he growled, ignoring her interruption, “then you need to know that you’re the exception.”

 

Her expression shifted, nose scrunching up in a bizarre way he couldn’t quite interpret until she made an equally strange wail. With a telling shudder, Rey shifted between forms, slender arms pulling her legs towards her chest, huddled in the fetal position against grimy pavement.

 

Kylo swore, tearing his peacoat from his back in an instant, gentle as he wrapped the woolen material around her bare shoulders.

 

“You’re getting good at that,” he said, pulling the coat closed.

 

Rey ducked her face into the lapels, breathing deeply. When she flashed him a furtive glance, there were tears gathering in her eyes. He couldn’t--didn’t, _wouldn’t_ \--resist the nagging compulsion to gather her in his arms and hold her shivering body flat against his.

 

“Why?” she asked, voice breaking.

 

_Because I care about you,_ he nearly answered. Kylo bit his tongue.

 

It felt impossibly _right_ when she tucked her head under his chin, her chilled nose nudging at the warmth of his throat.

 

“If I want to keep you safe, the best way is to teach you how to defend yourself.”

 

“So?” she croaked. “That doesn’t mean-- _no_ body’s ever--you don’t have to--”

 

“I _do,_ actually,” he stopped her abruptly, crushing his lips against the smooth, clean plain of her forehead.

 

Her voice came out in a pathetic warble. “But--”

 

“It’s _okay,_ kitten,” he breathed. “It’s just me.”

 

Something in her snapped and a sob ripped from the back of her throat as she made herself into an even smaller ball of limbs. He clenched his arms around her, chest twisting into suffocating knots as she blubbered into the crook of his neck, hot tears slipping down his skin to soak into the collar of his shirt. Kylo wasn’t sure if he was supposed to do much more than hold her as she wept, but his hand slid in circles between her shoulder blades in tandem with her heaving gulps.

 

In a muted tone, he vowed, “I won’t ever treat you like Plutt did. No one ever will again.”

 

“I don’t understand,” she sniffled. “Why would you even bother?”

 

“You don’t have to,” he replied. He scarcely understood it himself. “Just know that I would never hurt you.”

 

A fresh bout of tears trickled down her cheeks but with her next breath she mumbled, “Can we go home?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. He called her kitten. I'm the one that wrote it and I'm STILL freaking out. That boy is smitten.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you to my beta, grlie-girl! <3 
> 
> Just a little warning, there is some angst. We're getting into a bit of Rey's past.

The worst part about releasing Chewie was returning him to the box and back to a stasis of prolonged slumber. Rey seemed to sense his reluctance from where she kneeled on the foot of his bed, still swaddled in his coat.

 

“Do you have to seal him again?” She asked, even as she shot the skeleton dog a furtive glance.

 

Kylo sighed. “It’s best if I do. Besides, I thought you were upset I sent a dog after you.”

 

Rey drew the pink swell of her lower lip into her mouth, snagging soft flesh with the catch of her teeth. Kylo didn’t realize he was staring until she met his gaze curiously, her head tipping to one side in silent inquiry. He shook himself free, refusing to ponder on just how soft her lips might have been.

 

“I just don’t like being hunted,” she murmured back.

 

Kylo was instantly reminded that the majority of her past was a mystery to him. He had no idea how she had escaped Plutt’s clutches or made her way so far north on her own and while he had no right to pry, the longing to _know_ blazed in his gut. Sending Chewie after her had been the right choice, there was no other way he could have found her so quickly, but every action had consequences, regardless of intent.

 

Chewie had flopped himself down on the floor, facing his confines and whining. Kylo absentmindedly patted the hound’s skull, all three of them considering the box.

 

Finally, Rey continued. “Couldn’t you...I don’t know, give him flesh and fur again? If he looks alive, would it still be a problem?”

 

 _He is alive,_ Kylo almost said, before thinking better of it. He wasn’t sure he was ready to have that conversation with her.

 

Huffing, he shoved the open box back under the bed. “This decision needs pancakes. And bacon.”

 

Kylo offered her a change of clothing, leaving her in privacy (though she didn’t possess the shame to appreciate it) while he made for the kitchen, Chewie trotting at his heels. For helping him track Rey, the dog had earned a reward and flesh certainly would be fitting. The more sentimental side of Kylo wanted Chewie around for the sake of the memories he embodied--both good and painful, even now.

 

He moved through the motions of cooking mindlessly, peeling strips of thick, fatty bacon from a plastic package and dropping each into a warming pan. Rey reemerged as he was sifting flour, a sweater that was large on _him_ hanging to her knees.

 

He wondered if she had put on the pair of briefs he had handed her as well; either way, he almost didn’t want to know.

 

“Do you like blueberries?” He forced himself to focus on what he was doing.

 

Rey leaped onto the countertop, pulling most of her long locks over her shoulders to spill into her lap, away from the pan of snapping bacon.

 

“Probably,” she smiled. “I like everything you make.”

 

He grinned back at Rey, suddenly struck with the compulsion to gather her little form into his arms and kiss her absolutely _silly_. Which he should not, under any circumstances, do.

 

Instead, he placed the mixing bowl in her lap and handed her the sifter. “All you have to do is squeeze the lever.”

 

She grumbled to herself, “It’s more special when you do it,” but her gaze was fixed resolutely on the flour as it sprinkled down into the bowl, concentrated completely on the task he had given her.

 

Satisfied, Kylo marched over to his refrigerator and opened the freezer. Fresh blueberries were preferable but they weren’t in season and he would rather have frozen fruit than something grown in a hot house. He poured some into a colander and placed it in the kitchen sink, running cool water over the blueberries to thaw them.

 

He moved over to the stovetop and flipped each strip of bacon with a pair of metal tongs, avoiding the spitting oil that had pooled at the bottom of the pan.

 

“How come you don’t use magic to cook?” Rey asked, setting the mixing bowl aside once she had finished.

 

Kylo shrugged, returning to the refrigerator for a carton of eggs. “Some things should be done by hand. Anyway, I’m not a kitchen witch.”

 

Her next question should have been obvious, but it still threw him off.

 

“What kind are you?”

 

He usually answered with what was easiest: that he was a garden witch or a scholar. Kylo knew how to grow things and he fit the qualifications of a scholar, but there was no denying the truth of what he was-- _neither_. With her wide, hazel eyes looking up at him in confusion with every moment he didn’t respond, Kylo recognized the fact that he couldn’t lie to her. Not about something so important.

 

He wasn’t prepared to face this, to discuss the nature of his power, but she deserved to know who she was tying herself to.

 

Kylo swallowed, unable to glance her way as he tapped the first egg on the rim of the mixing bowl. He watched the yolk and whites slip into the pile of flour.

 

“I’m a necromancer.”

 

Silence reigned.

 

She didn’t know how to reply and Kylo could hardly blame her. Even she, despite her short apprenticeship, understood the severity of the law. Necromancy had been outlawed long before his birth and the punishment for practicing the darkest art was harsh. He would know.

 

It was his mother’s position on the Council of Three that had freed him of that punishment.

 

Rey scooted her backside to the edge of the counter, her voice hoarse as she ordered, “Come here.”

 

He obeyed, glaring at the floor as he stepped closer.

 

“Rey--”

 

She shushed him, gripping the front of his shirt and tugging him forward. Kylo tensed, expecting retribution; a slap, or for her to yell. He deserved no less.

 

Rey curled her arms about his waist, pressing her face into his chest. For a moment, he stood perfectly still.

 

“You look sad,” she whispered, a simple explanation for the complexity of his emotion.

 

Kylo settled into her embrace, breathing in the scent of her hair.

 

He wasn’t sure anyone had ever cared quite like she did.

 

“Will you tell me about it, someday?”

 

He didn’t trust his voice to speak. Kylo inclined his head in a few, short jerks, hands gripping her narrow hips as if holding her would keep him grounded to this plane of existence.

 

He’d tell her everything, one day.

 

* * *

 

Her lips were shiny with residual maple syrup. Rey _really_ wasn’t helping his temptation to kiss her.

 

She pushed her empty plate across the coffee table, distancing herself from the soggy pancake crumbs and flecks of crunchy bacon as if offended. Her eyelids were drooping, a long yawn drawing from her chest. It had been an eventful day and Kylo felt the same urge to succumb to a food coma.

 

He was about to tell her to go crawl into bed, he could deal with the post-meal clean-up. Before Kylo had the chance, she was stretching to her feet and shuffling towards where he was sprawled in his chair, his legs spread out and lap vacant. He nearly jumped when she splayed herself across his lap, her back against the arm of his chair and her torso curling towards him so that her head tucked into the crook of his neck.

 

She made herself comfortable, shifting about and snuffing at his throat, finally sighing as her limbs went still. As a cat, Kylo hadn’t thought twice about the way she would rest on the tops of his thighs after eating. Now, he couldn’t find the words to say _this,_ whatever it was, was inappropriate.

 

Satisfaction evident on her face, she uttered, “Rub me.”

 

His eyes blew impossibly wide.

 

 _Rub her?_ Was she saying what he thought she was saying? He had to have misheard her. His fingers clenched into white-knuckled fists, resisting the impulse to slide up the silken skin of her inner thighs.

 

She grumbled when he made no move to touch her, yanking on his wrist. She uncurled his fingers with an indignant frown, then tugged his hand under the sweater he had lent her to press his palm flat to her belly.

 

Rey was wearing his briefs, he discovered, though they hung so low on her hips that Kylo wondered if they did much good. He could feel the coarse curls of her pubic hair against the sensitive flesh of the underside of his forearm.

 

“I ate too much,” she whined, shutting her eyes against the slow circles of his palm.

 

Her stomach was taut under the weight of his hand, a small bulge of blueberry pancakes stretching her belly out. Kylo relented, deciding to indulge her relatively innocent request. If she was still a cat, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, and this knowledge alone had his fingers gently sweeping over her skin.

 

Her little hand rested below his, gingerly caressing her lower abdomen. He was transfixed by her soft hiccups, the light fluttering of her eyelashes, unable to scour a sudden realization from his thoughts before it took root.

 

Rey was beautiful. She was stunning and perfect and she deserved someone better than him.

 

Only, that illustrious better person he imagined rescuing Rey was _him._ Kylo had taken her from the streets, fed her and offered her his home, and for all the good people in the world, none of them had raised a finger to help her. He had.

 

“So full and tight,” she mumbled, stroking her stomach still, too relaxed and sleepy to stop herself from continuing in a whisper. “It reminds me of carrying kittens.”

 

His hand froze. _Kittens?_

 

“Rey--”

 

She harrumphed, twisting in his lap as his fingers remained still.

 

“--you’ve had children?”

 

He almost asked what had become of the kittens but when she opened her eyes, her gaze was glossy with tears; his question formed a painful knot in his throat. The answer was clear.

 

“I don’t have the same scent as a normal cat,” she breathed, “but during mating season that isn’t much of a deterrent. It was only just as I was learning how to survive as a stray, before I knew to stay away. I got cornered by a large tom.”

 

She didn’t elaborate, didn’t have to. Kylo already knew what had happened. He retrieved his hand to wrap his arm around her narrow waist.

 

He had always suspected that she had had a rough life on the streets.

 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, lips brushing over the delicate skin of her eyelids.

 

“I didn’t think it was possible but I carried all three of them to term. Towards the end, I remember hoping that I’d at least have my own family, but...but I was right. It wasn’t possible.”

 

Her lips pursed together, knees pulling up to her chest so that she formed a ball in his lap.

 

“They were perfect. Two tiny daughters and a son, with little paws and ears and tails. Nothing I did could wake them. There was just something missing.”

 

She said no more, the image of her feline form alternating between gently nuzzling and cleaning her stillborn kittens tumbled into his mind. He felt her pain as if it were his own.

 

It wasn’t fair. What had Rey ever done to deserve such heartbreak?

 

“I’m sorry for prying. I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.”

 

She smiled, shaking her head as she stroked her palm along the edge of his jaw. “I’m the one that brought it up, Kylo. I wanted you to know.”

 

He frowned, instantly blurting, “Why?”

 

Her fingers trailed into his hair, her nails scraping along his scalp in a way that was decidedly pleasant. He breathed in the rich, earthy scent of her.

 

“There’s something wrong with me,” she told him, suddenly shy as she glanced towards the ashes sitting in his hearth. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

 

Kylo didn’t have it in him to ask what she meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to [poethrotsvitha](https://poethrotsvitha.tumblr.com/), thank you for the beautiful art!!! :') <3  
> I love it so much!  
> 
> 
>  
> 
>  


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my beta, grlie-girl, thanks for your help!! <3 And thank you to fairhairedkings for the Latin advice!! <3<3
> 
> (you all know what that means...)
> 
> Thank you for your patience, hopefully, it won't take a whole month the update again. :)

It was agreed upon that Chewie should return to his sealed box for transportation--Kylo needed gravedirt to complete the transformative spell that would grant his loyal hound flesh and fur, and Chewie had been buried just down the road from his Uncle’s home. He was learning that he really couldn’t deny Rey anything and despite her original misgivings, she was determined to see Chewie made whole.

 

In December, Storrs was, on average, ten degrees cooler than Portland, but Rey seemed unbothered by the cold air, breath puffing out in clouds of moisture as she charged up the sloping driveway. Here, the snow had started to stick and Luke’s lawn was blanketed in white.

 

She turned back to him, cheeks rosy in the winter weather, insisting he _hurry up, slowpoke!_

 

He was hardly a witch tailor, but he had _tried_ to bring a few items of his clothing down to size. The jacket was still too large and with every rushed step, her socked heel popped out of his shoes, threatening to slip off entirely.

 

Regardless, she was gorgeous.

 

_There’s something wrong with me, I don’t want to disappoint you._

 

Kylo shook himself free of her haunting words, his gut churning. Rey hadn’t brought it up since and he was perfectly content pretending nothing had happened for as long as he could get away with it. He was well aware it would have to come up again at some point.

 

She trotted up the front steps and knocked on Luke’s yellow door. Kylo was still marching up the driveway when it swung open, Finn on the other side once more.

 

For reasons beyond him, Rey had been ecstatic to see his young cousin again and Kylo could tell she could barely restrain herself from throwing her arms around him. It was hard not to feel offended when Finn hadn’t had to do much of anything to win Rey over (it had taken a mere day!) but her joy was contagious.

 

Finn looked around her to him, then back at Rey, not recognizing her now that she was in human form.

 

“Did you get a girlfriend?” he called to Kylo, full lips pursed in confusion.

 

She laughed. “Don’t be silly! It’s me, Rey.”

 

Oh. Of course. Him having a girlfriend, her _being_ his girlfriend, was silly.

 

Her opinion was hardly surprising, _but_...

 

Kylo grimaced, trudging up the steps behind her, something hot and sharp twisting in his chest. It wasn’t as if he particularly wanted Rey as a girlfriend, the title itself sounded juvenile to him. Not that there was a better title for what he wished she was.

 

Finn floundered for a moment, it was clear that some part of him had doubted that she truly was a human trapped in feline form, but he recovered quickly, stepping back to allow them entrance. Rey flounced past him, her hair a wild, tangled flurry of rich brown.

 

“I like your hair,” he said, watching as she slipped off the sneakers and socks and proceeded barefoot. Though Rey understood the practicality of shoes, she wasn’t fond of wearing them. He was only thankful she didn’t start kicking off her borrowed pants next.

 

Rey beamed back, shooting Kylo a look that said it all. _See? Why would you want me to cut it?_

 

“Thank you.”

 

Luke peered into the family room from the kitchen. He smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes, now narrowed into shards of icy blue. “Ben, what an inauspicious visit. On a new moon, no less. What, precisely, are you bringing under my roof?”

 

His uncle’s stare fixed on the black wax-sealed box under his arm. He was lenient about certain things--Kylo breaking the law to help Rey hadn’t bothered him--but necromancy... _that,_ he wouldn’t be budged on.

 

He straightened his back, meeting Luke’s fierce glare. Kylo had anticipated a cold welcome.

 

What he hadn’t anticipated was Rey bristling beside him.

 

“I was the one that insisted he give the dog flesh. He’s here for _me.”_

 

Her statement was met with stunned silence.

 

“The dog,” Luke repeated, a blond eyebrow raising on his forehead incredulously. “You kept your father’s bloodhound all these years? I thought the Council confiscated--”

 

“What the Council doesn’t know won’t hurt them. I haven’t practiced in a very long time and Chewie is harmless, as you already know. Giving him flesh doesn’t go against the law and he could easily pass as a familiar.”

 

His uncle huffed a harsh laugh. “You could have kept one of your ghoulish knights, or a mindlessly obedient trooper, and you decided to keep the _dog?”_

 

What could Kylo say? He was sentimental to a fault. As his world had crumbled around him, defeat imminent, Chewie by his side had been all Kylo had wanted. That, and perhaps for Death to take him, to free him of his pain.

 

“As you can see,” he answered stiffly.

 

Luke sighed, gaze melting into an exhaustion that didn’t fit his youthful appearance. For once, he bore the weight of his four centuries and it was unsettling. A small, tired grin settled on his face when he redirected his attention to Rey, standing between him and his nephew with a stony expression.

 

“I see you managed to complete the second ritual,” he finally said. “Humanity suits you, Rey.”

 

All tension left the room, Finn releasing a breath of air he had been holding through the confrontation. He would have questions, no doubt, but whether or not Kylo deigned to answer them was another matter entirely.

 

“You think so?” Rey looked down at her wiggling toes spread on the rug, a shy flush spreading over her cheeks.

 

Kylo placed his palm on the crown of her head.

 

“Of course, kitten,” he murmured, voice dropping an octave on the last word. “Of course.”

 

Warmth permeated his skin, sudden, unexpected joy fluttering in his chest. It wasn’t his happiness he was feeling, but _hers_. It rushed through him and he could do nothing but be swept away by her unadulterated joy.

 

Rey _liked_ when he called her kitten, he realized. She wanted him to know that.

 

He pulled his hand away from her hair, all at once aware that they had an audience and that his uncle was very likely to tease him relentlessly. Or ask if he was taking advantage of her vulnerability.

 

Meeting Luke’s bewildered gaze, he grumbled, “Where do you want me to put Chewie?”

 

His uncle stared at the box for a long moment. “In the old part of the basement.”

 

* * *

 

The old part of the basement was cold and dark and damp. Rey refused to leave the clean, carpeted section when Kylo went to retrieve Chewie’s box, only twenty minutes until midnight. He had argued that she didn’t need to tag along for this but she was insistent. There were bears in the woods, he had told her. Rey had simply looked at him like he was stupid, reminding him that it was winter, wouldn’t they all be hibernating?

 

She was right, naturally.

 

At the bottom of the front steps, she took his hand.

 

The country road was winding and narrow; without a sidewalk or lighting, it was dangerous to go marching blindly in the night. A car could easily swerve around a turn with little warning, but the walk was short and they remained silent in the darkness, listening for tires on pavement.

 

Leading her over another hill, they finally passed over the frozen creek and Kylo tugged her into the woods.

 

His father’s hunting cabin was in ruins now, nothing remained but the bottom foundation and four stone walls, no more than a foot tall. Though very little remained of the building, he could still make out the path his father and Chewie had once forged, all the way down to the falls and deep into the wilderness. It seemed it was still in use, though Kylo doubted there was as much game now as there had been a hundred years ago.

 

“How can I help?” Rey whispered, fingers clenching around his.

 

Kylo smiled, shaking his head. “It’s best if I do this on my own. I don’t want to dirty your hands.”

 

“I’m not afraid of a little _dirt,”_ she grumbled back. That wasn’t what Kylo had meant but he didn’t bother to correct her.

 

Instead, he handed her a candle, twisting the tip of the wick with his forefinger and thumb to light it. The air was still, the woods falling into complete, eerie silence. It was nearly midnight. He spared only a moment to glance upwards, silhouetted tree branches clawing towards the glistening spill of stars over their heads.

 

He cleared away snow with his boots, exposing the small, stone marker he had placed over Chewie’s resting place, so many years ago. With a shovel, he carefully dug away the frozen top layer of dirt, kneeling once he’d cleared it away and hit cold, muddy clay. This, he scooped out with his hands, creating a hole large enough for Chewie to lay down in.

 

Rey offered him the box. He broke open the seal once more and Chewie leaped free, bounding around them in his canine excitement. The old hound remembered these woods and its familiar smells.

 

“Come here, boy,” Kylo said, holding his arms open for the dog to jump into.

 

Gently, he placed Chewie into the hole. “No shaking until I’m done,” he ordered.

 

He coated his bones in clay, reaching into his coat for his pocket knife once certain that nothing remained exposed. It had been a long time since Chewie had been buried here and nothing remained of the dog’s flesh, but the earth remembered all that had been given to her, she had a stronger memory than even Death.

 

Kylo tore his gloves off and with quick swipes of his blade, sliced into his palms, tracing his lifelines.

 

It was midnight.

 

He stood abruptly, holding either hand over Chewie’s buried bones. Blood trickled down his wrist and soaked into his sweater, and along the lengths of his outstretched fingers, raining crimson. There was always a price to be paid, and it was at the expense of the necromancer.

 

When he spoke, the incantation caught in his throat. _“Accipe dona carnis--”_

 

Kylo had forgotten how difficult it was to perform a necromantic spell. His entire body fought against it, the act of dallying with Death grotesque and unnatural. The words were meant to be drawn from his body, like leeching poison from one’s veins.

 

He growled, squeezing his eyes shut as he began again with a thunderous roar, one powerful enough to push past his teeth as they tried to clench down and prevent his voice from escaping.

 

_“Accipe dona carnis sanguinisque ut tuo domino fide servias!”_

 

Flames burst to life, swallowing the mud-caked bones and his offering of blood, baking the clay with a heat that had him and Rey stumbling back for fear of cooking along with it.

 

The gravedirt hardened then finally cracked, the fire dying down but the clay shell around Chewie glowing red. Kylo pulled Rey behind him as shards shot out indiscriminately; he felt her hands forming fists into the back of his coat, a tremble running through her small form.

 

Chewie surged out of the weakened shell, fully formed and with fur sprouting from pinkened skin to cover his body. He shook, ears flopping with soft pats, before springing towards him and Rey. She yelped as they fell backward and he barely managed to roll over to prevent crushing her, Chewie crouching over his chest and ducking his head to lap at his face with his lolling tongue.

 

Kylo sighed, lightheaded from blood loss and the strain of using necromancy after years of letting his ability squander. “Alright, boy. You’re welcome.”

 

Chewie licked a long stripe across Rey’s cheek to thank her as well, and she giggled, “I guess I can get used to that...even though he _is_  a dog. It’s not like I have anyone else to give me kisses.”

 

That stung a lot more than it should have. Kylo pulled himself up and cleared his throat, ignoring the way his Adam’s apple bobbed painfully--an aftereffect of the spell, he told himself.

 

“I don’t know about you, but I could _really_ use a cup of hot chocolate right about now.”

 

She hummed in agreement, taking his hand when he offered it. The cuts had already sealed shut once more, fused into angry, pink lines that would be faded by morning.

 

“And a warm bed,” she added, lacing her fingers with his once more, Chewie trotting beside them as they returned to the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Rey could be less subtle if she TRIED. Ah, well. 
> 
> Brownie points to whoever can guess what inspired the spell in this chapter. Here's a hint: it's from an anime.
> 
> Thanks for reading!! Your feedback has blown me away on this fic, every comment makes my day. :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, grlie-girl for being an amazing (and speedy!) beta!! <3 <3
> 
> AND THANK YOU TO MY READERS FOR REACHING 1000+ KUDOS!!! I decided to celebrate with an early chapter!
> 
> Just to remind everyone, this fic is rated E for a reason.

Everything was warm. Hot from sleeping. Skin that was warm and soft and--

 

Panicked, Kylo jolted awake.

 

Rey huffed a sleepy sigh, stirring slightly before settling once more. On top of him.

 

He wasn’t particularly fond of traveling at night. Collectors were more active then, and necromancers were best off avoiding them if they can help it. Short distances didn’t concern him after dark but several thousand miles across the country? He hadn’t been willing to risk a run-in. Not when Chewie was like a shining beacon and Rey was magically vulnerable.

 

So they had stayed the night at Luke’s. And unfortunately, the spare room upstairs had a twin-sized bed. Which hadn’t seemed like much of a problem last night. Chewie had been content dozing on the small rug at his bedside and to conserve space, Rey had transformed into a cat to curl up on his chest.

 

Now, however, she was very much _not_ a cat.

 

No. Instead, she was splayed across his chest, her face tucked into the crook of his neck, completely naked. He could feel the small suppleness of her breasts flat against him, the thatch of curls between her thighs brushing against the coarse hairs that trailed up to his navel, said thighs resting on either side of his hips.

 

So _very_ naked.

 

Her skin--her _everything_ \--pressed to him.

 

Intimately.

 

Had she shifted back in her sleep?

 

It didn’t particularly matter. He had to get out, preferably without waking her. Before he--

 

“Shit,” he breathed, gritting his teeth as his cock hardened. Of course.

 

He wasn’t sure how he had planned to avoid being aroused by this. The only fortunate part of the situation was that Rey was spread above his swelling dick, constrained by his briefs, and still mercifully asleep. There was still a chance he could get away unscathed, her unaware of how his erection throbbed with an impossible need to bury itself in the welcoming heat of her body.

 

Her lips parted against his collarbone, her moist breath clinging to his skin. A shudder ran through him.

 

Carefully, he wrapped his hands around her waist, slowly moving to prop himself up on his elbows.

 

Bad idea. _Bad idea!_

 

Death, take him. It would be easier to drop dead than deal with this, and Kylo has seen where he’s going.

 

Rey slid down his chest to land in his lap.

 

He could feel _everything_ through the thin material of his briefs. Her legs opened wider, the heat of her sex seeping through and--

 

Fuck.

 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

 

She was wet.

 

It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t his fault!

 

What right did she have to be positively _dripping_ with desire when she wasn’t even awake, or at all interested? What angry deity had decided to punish him so cruelly? He had made mistakes but this was an unjustified torture.

 

All Kylo knew was that she couldn’t wake to him hard between her thighs. Maybe if he gently rolled onto his side, he could slide out--

 

Rey hummed, cuddling impossibly closer, her hips shifting to lightly grind on his dick.

 

He sucked in sharply and held his breath, freezing in place. This could _not_ be happening. She was going to wake up and accuse him of taking advantage of her. What little, hard earned trust she had in him would be utterly demolished and maybe, she’d leave for good this time.

 

Kylo wasn’t going to let that happen, not when she meant so much to him. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being on the streets again.

 

There was no time for delicacy. If he didn’t get out of the room, out of the bed, he was going to do something incredibly foolish. It was too easy to imagine flipping their positions so that his large body framed hers, their hips rocking together to satisfy the craving that boiled under his skin.

 

Her slick was causing his underwear to cling wetly to his cock when she made a low sound and shifted again, he unconsciously jerked with her.

 

Kylo hissed, forcing himself to be still. What the hell was _wrong_ with him? His own body was betraying him, he couldn’t be trusted--

 

Rey made a faint whimper and _oh,_ he wanted to rut into her with reckless abandon.

 

He ripped himself away, prying her sleeping form off and shuffling out from under her to nearly fall over the edge of the narrow mattress. If she woke from his stumbling, Kylo didn’t look back to see, bolting through the door without making a sound. His voice would be too deep and he couldn’t trust himself to not say something stupid.

 

The flooring creaked under his weight as he crossed the short, upstairs hall to throw open the closet door. He bent over to snatch an obnoxious, magenta towel from a neatly stacked pile, shutting the closet and turning to come face-to-face with his uncle, emerging from his own room.

 

Luke raised a single brow before asking in a dry tone, “Going somewhere with that?”

 

He wasn’t talking about the towel.

 

Kylo’s face caught fire, his lips twisting into an ugly frown as he glared back, promptly covering his crotch with the folded towel.

 

“Into a cold shower,” he growled back.

 

“Hmm.”

 

His uncle didn’t have to be forthcoming for Kylo to know just what he was thinking.

 

“I’m not sleeping with her--I’m not _going_ to sleep with her--so wipe that judgemental, holier-than-thou look off your face.”

 

Luke gave him a look of genuine surprise. “Really? I figured--”

 

“What?” he seethed under his breath. “You figured I’d take advantage of her? Fuck off.”

 

Kylo pushed past him to storm down the stairs. The upstairs bathroom was more spacious but there was no way a cold shower was going to cut it. Now he was horny _and_ pissed and the last thing he needed was for everyone to hear him furiously fuck his own hand.

 

He gripped himself the moment he slid the downstairs bathroom door closed, his palm now tacky with her arousal. Without a thought, he brought his hand up to his mouth to taste _her_ and it only made the throbbing worsen. She was sharp and spicy and he wanted to rest his head between her legs and stay there for hours. Kylo switched on the shower and stepped out of his briefs, dropping them to the tiled floor before he did something utterly depraved with the moisture she had spread over it.

 

The water was hot, stinging as it beat against his back, and Kylo could have cried--it wasn’t enough. His hand wasn’t enough. He knew her distinct flavor now, the hot slide of her body against his, how was anything else ever going to compare?

 

He tightened his fingers around the base of his cock to the point of pain, grunting with each rough tug. It hurt, how badly he wanted to rush back to her, so soft and sleep-warm, and wake her with his mouth suckling pliant, sweet flesh.

 

She’d gift him with more of those quiet, mewling noises and he’d peel her open, work her with his fingers before sinking the entirety of his length into her warmth. He’d start slow, allow her to adjust, then rile her with swift thrusts, pound her into that tiny, squeaky bed so that the headboard slammed into the wall behind it. Let his uncle and cousin hear as he ravished her, fucked her hard enough to scream.

 

_Yes--_

 

His head ducked forward, resting against the shower tiles, his other hand reaching between his thighs to fondle his balls.

 

He’d come inside her and she’d milk him for every drop, her small body pulsing around him. As they breathed each other’s air, he’d kiss every place he could touch, tell her she was _everything_ \--

 

“Rey,” he croaked, jerking into his palm. “Oh, _Rey!”_

 

Tears of frustration and self-pity pricked behind his closed eyelids. With no one to see his pathetic trembling, he let them trickle down his face, mingling with the water dripping from his soaked hair.

 

Kylo moved his fist up and down his cock at an unbearable pace, the wet slaps echoing in the little shower stall, a sob caught at the back of his throat. It escaped as a strangled moan, his balls tightening as _finally,_ he came.

 

Kylo nearly slumped to his knees at the force of his orgasm, his chest tightening and veins of his neck jutting out as he held in the urge to shout. He spattered the tiled wall with surge after surge of come, bracing himself until he finished, bleary-eyed as he watched the water wash it down the drain.

 

When his heartbeat slowed and the water turned tepid, he slicked back his hair with a sigh and looked down at his dick, abused and hanging limp between his legs. At least he wasn’t likely to get it up again anytime soon, even if he returned to the spare room upstairs to find Rey naked still.

 

Kylo shut off the shower and reached for the towel to dry off. The mirror was opaque with steam and he wiped a circle clean to stare at his reflection in shame. Now that he had emptied himself--quite literally--all that remained inside him was guilt.

 

He had to stop this and he could think of only one way. He had to start pulling away.

 

Kylo couldn’t continue to sleep in the same bed with her, or touch her hair, or call her kitten. There had to be boundaries. She wasn’t a cat anymore, he had to stop treating her like one. He gripped the sink counter and wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the wankst! Kylo asked himself a lot of questions in this chapter and I've decided to answer two of them since I feel a little guilty for torturing him.
> 
> 1\. Had she shifted back in her sleep? N O P E
> 
> 2\. What angry deity had decided to punish him so cruelly? You're punishing yourself, Dumbo.
> 
> ALSO, my boss told me this joke and I literally died. It fits writing Hex so well. 
> 
> What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the ends of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
> 
> Well, that's it from me. Please don't throw bricks at me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, grlie-girl, for your amazing feedback! <3 <3

Kylo could hear the faint crackle of bacon sizzling in a pan and smell the rich, earthy scent of roasted coffee beans being brewed when he emerged from the downstairs bathroom, as calm as he was going to be after his emotional turmoil. With the magenta towel wrapped around his waist, he snuck upstairs, pleading that Rey had already emerged and found her way to the kitchen table.

 

That what had passed between them could be mistaken as a strange dream.

 

For once, he got what he wanted. The spare room was empty, his clothing hanging over the wooden chair tucked into its desk. He pulled on the jeans and sweater he had worn yesterday and then stripped the sheets they had slept in to bring them back downstairs. There was a small, damp patch on the navy blue material, undoubtedly left by Rey after he had left her in bed.

 

The sight of it had his stomach in knots.

 

Kylo had a much larger bed at home, though. This wasn’t a problem that they’d run into again, and if it boiled down to him taking the couch every night, so be it. At least until he could find a more permanent solution.

 

Perhaps he should consider the option of moving, he mused, tugging on woolen socks. He could certainly afford to find a bigger place--it had been a few decades since he had paid off the mortgage on his little cottage and nearly everything that he earned from his shop went into savings. Add to that whatever he made on selling the place he owned...Kylo sighed.

 

He would save that train of thought for another time.

 

With the sheets bundled under his arm and his boots hanging from hooking fingers, he ventured downstairs once more.

 

As he suspected, Rey was comfortably situated at the kitchen table, wearing clothes he didn’t recognize. She must have borrowed them from Finn and he wished that didn’t bother him so much. He wondered if he should be encouraging it, even, though the thought was too painful for him to linger on for very long.

 

She and Finn were happily listening to Luke tell one of his stories, he heard his cousin confirm through his laughter, “Yeah, she was very pretty. It’s no wonder Dad fell for her practically overnight.”

 

Kylo could only assume his uncle was talking about meeting Finn’s mother and curious as he was, he didn’t particularly want to know very many details about Luke’s mid-life crisis. It had been the nineteen-nineties. Not much more needed to be said, as far as Kylo was concerned.

 

Without a word, he stomped down the narrow basement stairs and flipped the switch to the old laundry room. Frowning at his uncle’s ancient laundry machine--it had to be thirty years old at least--he stuffed the sheets into the basin and dumped in a cup of liquid detergent, allowing the load to start before shutting the lid.

 

Now there really was no avoiding her. He marched back up the stairs and towards the kitchen, lingering at the end of the hall where wood flooring met tile. Rey’s back was to him, her hair falling over the backrest of the chair. It was tangled from sleep and the knowledge that he couldn’t reach out and comb through it with his fingers made him want to do just that.

 

His hands itched to touch her but Kylo resisted, pulling them into tight fists.

 

Luke noticed his presence first but he didn’t bother saying anything, instead of reaching for the cabinet over the sink for a coffee mug and then pouring from the fresh pot, handing him the cup with an unreadable look. He was displeased about something, no doubt, but Kylo had no intention of prying.

 

He was likely the subject of his uncle’s displeasure.

 

Luke returned to his pan, flipping large, runny pats of scrambled egg to cover the cooked part with slices of havarti. The cheese melted as the eggs finished cooking, forming a white blanket.

 

The ticking of the toaster ended with an abrupt _ding_. That explained the thick, cinnamon aroma that permeated the space.

 

Kylo was closer. Wordlessly, he opened the toaster to carefully drag each generous slice of home baked cinnamon raisin bread out with the tips of his fingers, practically flinging them onto the four plates already set out to avoid burning himself. Luke was content to work in silence, handing him a spreading knife to butter the toast with.

 

This was why he liked cooking. There was something mindless about it. The world could be imploding around him but everyone needed to eat and it helped to stop thinking for a while and just do.

 

The knife made a scraping sound against each slice of toast as he slathered them with butter and for a solid minute, Kylo could tell himself that everything would work out. The bacon went directly onto the table and Luke piled the first plate with scrambled eggs, placing it in front of Rey.

 

She turned her head to say thank you, only to meet Kylo’s gaze instead, nearly jumping with surprise.

 

Rey hadn’t startled like that since they first met.

 

Something was wrong. Her expression hardened. _Very_ wrong.

 

Had she been awake to witness his shameful behavior? Had she come downstairs and somehow heard him gasping her name? Suddenly, Kylo didn’t feel up for breakfast.

 

He took a long gulp of his coffee, ignoring the way it burned down his throat.

 

“I’m taking Chewie for a walk,” he muttered.

 

The hound, sitting patiently next to Rey in the hopes of getting her scraps--a fruitless endeavor, knowing her--perked his ears at Kylo’s sharp whistle.

 

“Your food will get cold,” his uncle told him from his seat at the head of the table. His tone rang with warning.

 

Kylo grumbled back from the family room, “I’m not hungry.”

 

“Meet me in the library when you get back.”

 

Kylo scoffed. “You’re not my master anymore, remember? We’re leaving once I return.”

 

The last thing he heard, walking through the front door with Chewie at his heels, was Rey’s warbling voice as she said, “Please, don’t fight because of me.”

 

* * *

 

The car that had been in the driveway was gone when Kylo returned over an hour later. Evidently, Rey had gone somewhere with Finn. He could take a hint, they wouldn’t be leaving again until Luke had his chance to lecture him.

 

Fine.

 

Not bothering to remove his jacket, Kylo trudged towards the library. Luke was sitting at his desk, peering over a worn manuscript while he waited. He gestured towards a leather chair, standing to turn his folding, metal one about. Resolute, Kylo remained in the doorway, expression carefully blank.

 

With a weary sigh, Luke settled back in his seat.

 

“You’re an idiot.”

 

Kylo scowled, mouth opening with a rebuttal at the tip of his tongue.

 

“No,” his uncle cut him off, “let me finish.”

 

Kylo wasn’t entirely sure why he listened. Luke took a minute to collect his thoughts before continuing once more.

 

“If you had half a brain, you’d tell that woman you’re in love with her.”

 

He sputtered back, stunned. “I--I’m not _in love_ with her!”

 

For a moment, his uncle looked amused. “Ben, do you think it’s possible for someone to reach my age and not recognize a man in love? There’s no point in lying to me.”

 

A trickle of sweat ran down his back, his hair on end. Kylo had never allowed himself to even _think_ about love. It wasn’t a sentiment to be thrown about so casually. And it didn’t matter. A familiar hopelessness tightened around his throat.

 

His feelings didn’t matter. Not when there was no chance of them ever being returned, not when he’s already ruined everything.

 

“See?” Luke threw a hand into the air. “There you go again. Thinking something stupid.”

 

Kylo _hated_ when he did that. He always had, even as a boy.

 

“You have no right to go blundering into my head,” he snarled, glowering at the ceiling.

 

“I don’t have to. You’ve never had much of a poker face, Ben.”

 

His nostrils flared. He breathed in deeply, his exhale shuddering. It had been a long time since he had been made to feel so exposed and he wanted to claw at his own skin.

 

“My feelings aren’t important. She deserves better,” he whispered. Even to him, they sounded like hollow excuses.

 

“What she deserves is some say in this. Have you ever asked Rey how she feels?”

 

Kylo sneered. “What for? So she can reject me to my face? I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

 

His uncle paused long enough for Kylo to glance towards him. “If that’s what you think she’ll do, you’re more of a fool than I thought.”

 

He swallowed. Luke had always had a way with words. He was good at getting into his head, almost as good as--no, he wouldn’t get distracted by something infinitely more painful now. Kylo wouldn’t be toyed with. This was probably some scheme of his mother’s, something she’d cooked up to get him to return home.

 

It wasn’t going to work.

 

“If you’re quite finished, tell them to come back. I’ll wait for her outside.”

 

* * *

 

When the car came rolling up the driveway, Kylo could see her beaming smile fade at the sight of him. It stung but he steeled himself. He refused to stay for even five minutes more. Still, she made an attempt to appear normal, offering a tentative wave before stepping out of the vehicle. He nodded back, grimacing when he noticed the chocolate sauce smeared over the lovely curve of her upper lip.

 

He shot a glare at Finn. “You took her out for ice cream in _December?”_

 

His stomach roiled. What a childish, _cutesy,_ date-like idea.

 

Finn was steady and unperturbed by his anger, shrugging as he answered. “She said she’s never had it before. It’s not like the parlor was twenty degrees _inside.”_

 

Kylo was ready to snap back at him when her small, cold fingers grazed his, grasping at his hand. Alarmed, _knowing_ he shouldn’t let her do that anymore, he pulled his hand away.

 

A flash of pain crossed her eyes before she closed herself to him, her figure curling in on itself.

 

He was hurting her, Kylo realized. That wasn’t what he wanted! His mind floundered; what else was he supposed to do? He didn’t know how else to keep himself in check, protect her from himself--

 

“Kylo,” she said, a coldness he didn’t recognize creeping into her voice. “Stop that.”

 

He growled through his teeth. “Fine. We’re going.”

 

Her gaze flickered at Finn and before he witnessed something truly sickening--his heart pounded at the thought of her getting one of those kisses she didn’t have anyone to give her--he placed one palm on her shoulder and the other on Chewie’s head.

 

In a blink, they were home.

 

She stumbled away from him as he pushed through the front door. “What the hell was that? You didn’t even let me say goodbye! Finn’s the only friend I _have!”_

 

“It was time to go.” He replied tersely, stalking into the kitchen to get Chewie a water bowl, his eyes burning.

 

He wasn’t even a _friend_ to her anymore.

 

“So? All I would have needed was a few seconds to--”

 

He cut her off, teeth gnashing. “To get a goodbye kiss? Sorry to break up your budding _romance_ with Finn.”

 

The metal mixing bowl he had grabbed for Chewie was overflowing under the running faucet, he watched it spill over the lip of the bowl and down the drain, fists at his sides.

 

She sucked in, her voice cracking. “Excuse me?”

 

“He took you out, didn’t he?” Kylo sneered. “I’m sure you had a fun date.”

 

Rey stepped closer, wet sneakers squeaking on the floor. His fingernails drew blood as they sank into the meat of his palms.

 

“I’m confused,” she whispered. “Finn is my friend. The first friend I’ve ever had.”

 

He whirled on her violently, howling back, “And what am I, then? I took you off the street! I fed you, cared for you, helped you become human again! I’ve offered you my home and I’m not even a _friend_ to you?”

 

Her eyes widened as she stared at him, shocked. She paid no notice to the tears that dribbled over her cheeks, and in that moment, Kylo loathed himself.

 

“Why did you come after me that day if you didn’t _want_ me? You--you said you would never hurt me and I trusted you! I don’t understand what I keep doing wrong, what I’ve done to make you hate me. Is it because I’m a therian? Is it because I told you about my kittens?”

 

She was sobbing now, swiping at her eyes with her cuffs.

 

“I don’t hate you, Rey,” he breathed. “I could never hate you.”

 

This was all his fault. He had thought pushing her away was the right thing to do, but perhaps his uncle hadn’t been lying.

 

“Then why am I not good enough for you?”

 

Guilt swarmed his throat. He reached for her, only for Rey to dodge his hand, glaring through her tears.

 

“Rey--”

 

“No!” she retorted. “I shouldn’t have come back. I thought you--obviously, I was mistaken.”

 

A traitorous sense of hope swelled in his chest, both cloying and smothering all at once. “Please, tell me what you thought.”

 

Her reddened, hazel eyes narrowed at him. She turned around, shucking her shoes and coat as she stomped down the hall.

 

“You should think about what you did this morning, instead!” Rey shouted, slamming his bedroom door shut.

 

A second later, the lock clicked.

 

Trembling, he walked down the hall to press his ear to the locked door. On the other side, she was crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for your amazing comments!! I know it seems like Kylo just made things worse but there is light at the end of the tunnel. We're almost there, I promise! :D
> 
> I'd also love to show you all some amazing artwork created for Hex! Thank you so much, sleemo and shwtlee4reylo!!
> 
> by sleemo (on tumblr):  
> 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> and by shwtlee4reylo (also on tumblr):  
> 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you grlie-girl, as always, for your feedback!!! You are LITERALLY the best! <3
> 
> And thank you to lavenderkushkiss, for the Hex headcanon you dropped in my tumblr inbox. I'm was sooo excited by your idea that I had to use it. :)
> 
> As for everyone else, thank you for your patience!! We've finally gotten to the long-awaited TALK.

Rey remained in his room for the rest of the day. Kylo could have easily unlocked the door and barged in, but she had made herself perfectly clear: right now, she wanted to be alone.

 

His mind was swirling in vivid hues of grief and guilt and longing and bewilderment. She had almost told him something. Something important. Something, he suspected, that would clear up his confusion. He wanted to understand what she was feeling, for her to define the lingering emotion she hid behind the anger he had last witnessed.

 

She knew about his shameful desire. She must have felt him under her--woken in that small bed before he realized--and her responding fury was justified. Rey must have felt violated by his touch.

 

More than once, he stood outside his bedroom door, knuckles hovering over the wood as he told himself, no. He had to leave her be.

 

He fell asleep at his desk, holed up in his study, pouring over _Byrth and Transformation: Therian Magicks._ Kylo had made the mistake of letting Rey think she was anything short of perfect and if there was one thing he could fix, it was that. So, he had turned to the one chapter he’d yet to read, telling himself it was none of his business, it would never pertain to him--

 

_Therian Reproduction._

 

Half of it was in ancient Greek and translating the text was slow work. Kylo slaved over the thick tome well into the early morning hours and when sleep finally took him, it was with his cheek resting against the fragile pages, his glasses askew on his face.

 

He hadn’t had the forethought to shut the curtains and was woken by first light, his back sore from being slumped in a chair and his neck aching. Kylo wasn’t sure if Rey had emerged at some point after he had crashed at his desk but the door was still closed and she was likely asleep.

 

He sighed, glancing over his findings, before slipping the piece of parchment with a section of his translation through the crack between the floor and door. Kylo wasn’t sure what she would do with this new information, but at least she could wake up to a sliver of good news.

 

Rolling his shoulders, he made his way to the kitchen. He yawned as he scooped coffee beans into his grinder, eyes glazing over as he pulverized them into a fine powder. He tried to think about anything but Rey, huddled on his bed without him, a useless venture when he turned to grab the kettle and found her standing in the entrance, holding the piece of parchment.

 

“Is this true?” she whispered.

 

Kylo filled the kettle with water, his back to her. “Yes.”

 

They stood in silence for so long, he thought she might have returned to bed, satisfied with knowing. The kettle whistled, prompting Chewie to come trotting in. Undoubtedly, he wanted to be walked. Kylo scratched the back of his head, pouring boiling water into the French press. The hound would get his walk once he had caffeine in his system.

 

When he turned around again, coffee mug held up to his lips, she was still standing under the archway, trembling as she waited for him to look her way.

 

Her voice cracked when she spoke. “There’s nothing wrong with me, then?”

 

“No, Rey. I never thought there was,” he murmured. “I’m sorry I didn’t make that more clear to you.”

 

He wanted to touch her, to use his fingers to comb her hair around the delicate curve of her ear. Even though he had no right to. Kylo had so much more to apologize for and he wasn’t sure how to say the right thing. He’d already done so much to hurt her without even realizing it.

 

He had to say something about that morning in bed but he wasn’t ready. Kylo had thought he would have more time to prepare himself for that hurdle. Deep down he knew, his uncle had been right. As terrifying as the prospect was, he wasn’t going to know any semblance of peace until he made his feelings--this uncontrollable attraction--clear.

 

Telling her might scare Rey off forever. It was a risk he had to take.

 

Moisture gathered in the corners of her eyes and he nearly reached out to gather her into his arms. Kylo was so sick of seeing her cry, hated that every word that spilled from his mouth seemed to inspire tears, but then a wobbly smile formed on her face. A startled, wet laugh broke in her throat.

 

“So, someday, I can--I can have--”

 

“Yes,” he answered quietly. “When that time comes, I won’t stand in your way.”

 

She looked at him for a long moment, her stricken expression twisting with confusion and something he dared not name.

 

Kylo swallowed, waiting for her to say something, _anything_.

 

“Stand in my way?” she repeated, eyebrows knitting together. “Kylo, do you really not know?”

 

His chest tightened.

 

What didn’t he know? Kylo was afraid to ask. He had never taken rejection well but if Rey was to turn him down now, he would be devastated. It would ruin him. Kylo was convinced he would never recover. No other being had ever had such a powerful sway on him and it was unbearable.

 

Panic pounded against his skull, he felt dizzy on his feet.

 

“You don’t,” she mumbled.

 

“I--” his voice came out as a pathetic croak.

 

Kylo did what he did best. He ran away.

 

“I’m going to walk Chewie.”

 

Her expression crumpled and instantly, he regretted it. “You just made yourself coffee.”

 

_“Uh--”_

 

Rey huffed, looking hurt and frustrated. “Fine. Do what you want.”

 

What he _wanted_ was to wrap himself around her and never let go. But he choked on the words, unable to say it.

 

Instead, he asked, “Will you still be here when I get back?”

 

“Would you even care?”

 

“Yes. More than I can put into words.” He could only hope she believed him.

 

She nodded, sniffing. “I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

 

* * *

 

It was crisp outside. Serene in the gray glow of dawn. It felt like Chewie was walking him more than the other way around. He watched pale pink smear across the sky, clouds hanging like heavy peonies, bursting with petals, overhead.

 

As he looked up, all he could think about was her, skin flushed and beautiful.

 

It was utterly selfish and he was undeserving, but Kylo knew. He could no longer avoid how he felt about Rey.

 

She was everything to him, and that was exactly what he was going to tell her. Damn the consequences; if this chased her away, at least he would know he _tried_. He had tried to do what was best for her and when he hadn’t been able to do that, he had tried to keep her at his side. There was nothing more Kylo could do.

 

His head finally clear, determined to set things right, he turned around for home.

 

Only to be stopped by Chewie, snuffling at something under a bush by the sidewalk. He sighed, patting his thigh to get the hound to follow him--now that he had made his reckless decision, he wanted nothing more than to charge through the front door and smother her with every emotion she inspired.

 

Chewie made a low, warbling sound before ducking his nose to the dirt once more. Exasperated, Kylo wondered what the dog could find so fascinating.

 

“Come on, boy. We need to go home.”

 

Chewie, in an odd display of disobedience, flopped onto the ground, resolved to stay put.

 

Grumbling to himself-- _damned stubborn dog_ \--he crouched down to investigate.

 

Curled under the foliage was a muddy little mass of white fur. At first, he assumed the pitiful creature had to be dead: it was too small to live without its mother and too cold outside for it to survive without a heat source for very long, but when he gently ran a finger along its back, it made a faint, high pitched whine.

 

Carefully, Kylo pulled the tiny, furry thing out from under the bush. It huddled into the warmth of his palm, shivering and abandoned, and when it peeked up at its savior, it was through a pair of milky, blue eyes, the same soft color as the light before dawn.

 

He tucked his hand against his chest, cradling the kitten as he broke into a fierce sprint, Chewie running beside him and yowling all the way down the street.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey jumped on the couch, startled when he crashed through the door. His nose and ears were burning with cold, his cheeks numb and bright red. There was mud on his knees and he would be unsurprised to run his fingers through his hair and find leaves sticking out.

 

“Kylo!” she gasped, taking in his wild expression. “What happened? Are you--”

 

“I’m fine,” he interrupted, panting. “Just--just let me say something before I lose my courage.”

 

Bewildered, she stood from the couch, timidly approaching. Chewie trotted up to her, wagging his tail obnoxiously so that it whipped against her leg.

 

He gazed into her eyes, desperate with hope and wondering how big of a fool he must have looked to her. Gulping, Kylo forced himself to speak.

 

“I want you, Rey. You mean more to me than anything and I don’t care if you deserve better than someone like me, or if you don’t think of me in the same way. I want you--I _need_ you to know how I feel.”

 

“Kylo--”

 

He shook his head, continuing. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, and for pushing you away, and for letting you think that I hate you because no matter what you say, that could never happen. I--I think I’m falling for you, Rey.”

 

She sucked her lower lip into her mouth, nervous as she took another step closer.

 

“I’ve tried so hard to make my feelings clear to you, Kylo,” she whispered, still approaching.

 

He turned away, shutting his eyes. Here it came, the inevitable rebuttal. He waited, muscles tensed, prepared to take the rejection.

 

A small hand smoothed along the curve of his jaw, covering his cheek and pulling him back towards her. _“Please,_ look at me.”

 

He peered down at her, watching as her tongue flit out, wetting the seam of her lips.

 

“I heard what you told Luke, that you wouldn’t ever sleep with me--”

 

He cut her off. “I didn’t want to take advantage of you. It infuriated me that my uncle thought I ever would.”

 

She offered a tentative smile. “How were you taking advantage of me? I was showing you how you made me feel, I thought it would get you to finally touch me. Did you think yesterday morning happened by chance?”

 

Kylo floundered, gaping down at her. “That was... _intentional?”_

 

She snickered, leaning closer to him. “I was running out of ideas. I felt how your body reacted to mine but I didn’t think it would scare you off,” Rey murmured, the hand that held his cheek skimming down his face and over the lapels of his coat to pause over the hand he held to his chest.

 

She quirked an odd look at him. “What are you holding?”

 

Kylo exhaled through his nose, nostrils flaring. How could he have forgotten?

 

Pressing his lips to her forehead, he quietly told her, “Close your eyes and hold up your hands.”

 

Rey seemed ready to argue, they stared at each other for a long moment before she did as he asked. His gaze dropped to his hand as he uncovered the kitten, which made a quiet mewl at being exposed to the relatively cool air. She stiffened at the sound, inhaling sharply but keeping her eyes shut.

 

“I know nothing could replace the kittens you lost,” he uttered, placing the squirming kitten into her open palms, “but I could think of no one better to take care of this little one--”

 

She swiftly glanced down at the dirty, abandoned kitten.

 

“--than you, Rey.”

 

“I don’t have milk, I can’t even feed him properly, Kylo--”

 

He saw new tears gathering in her hazel eyes and wouldn’t stand to see her cry again. “You can use a bottle, then. Don’t worry about that.”

 

She slowly brought the keening ball of white fur up to her face, gently nudging at him with the tip of her nose. The kitten reached out with his paw, feeling her face, and Rey made a low, fretting noise in the back of her throat. He responded in kind, squealing back at her.

 

Rey beamed, even as tears slipped over the freckled rounds of her cheeks.

 

Sighing, Kylo slipped his arms around her waist, tugging her close. She tucked the kitten into the crook of her neck, tipping her face up to him, expectation obvious. He ducked closer, brushing his lips over her eyelids and down the elegant slope of her nose, heart beating against his rib cage with joy. Now that she was so close, her face open with longing, he could no longer imagine all the reasons he’d given himself to push her away.

 

Her chin jutted towards him, mouth falling open and _at last,_ Kylo swept over the pink silkiness of her lips with a slow, deliberate kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT ONLY TOOK THEM 18 CHAPTERS BUT THEY FINALLY KISSED!! :D I know some people were expecting them to jump at each other as soon as they talked but...well. This is a slow burn for a reason. All I can say is that it will happen.
> 
> Thank you for all your comments...they really make my day. :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you grlie-girl for such a speedy beta read!! I hope you managed to get some sleep last night! <3

When he pulled away, Rey had a soft look of satisfaction on her face. Warmth burst in his chest at the sight of it and in an instant, he was kissing her again with swift, sharp impatience. They exhaled as one, foreheads pressed together.

 

She shuddered as she spoke as if worried that breaking the silence would shatter the moment, and that they wouldn’t be able to return to it. “I’ll clean him up and keep him warm, but we need to feed him. Can you get something?”

 

It was still too early for any pet store to be open but Kylo wasn’t going to let that deter him. He nodded, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “Yes, of course. I’ll do what I can.”

 

Though he doubted anyone would be open until nine, surely someone had to show up early to prepare for that. If not, he supposed he could always transport himself inside and leave cash for whatever he took.

 

Rey retook her spot on the couch, gently placing the kitten in her lap before shifting into her feline form, curling herself around the pathetic, little creature where they lay nestled in her cast off clothing. It was an oddly beautiful scene to witness, her pink tongue darting out to swipe at the kitten’s fur, and he wished he could stay to watch it.

 

Instead, he rushed from the house, flickering into existence at the _Unleashed_ on Powell, where he usually bought crickets and butterworms for Leviathan during the winter months, when it was unlikely to find anything in his garden. As he suspected, the place was closed and locked, though hope swelled when he saw the lights on towards the rear of the store.

 

He banged his fist against the glass pane, the door rattling at the force he used. There was no answer. Kylo waited about thirty seconds before rapping his knuckles on the glass again, louder this time. Someone had to come early to feed the pets up for adoption, he could _see_ the lights on.

 

It started to drizzle and Kylo shot a useless glare up at the sky, thankful for the eaves at the front of the pet store. At least he wasn’t stuck in the rain without an umbrella.

 

At last, a portly man with a beard appeared, reminding Kylo of a bewildered grizzly as he approached the front. He stopped on the other side of the door, pointing to the posted hours of operation.

 

“We’re closed, buddy. Come back in an hour and a half.”

 

His jaw tightened. “I _see_ that. It’s an emergency, can’t you make an exception?”

 

The man quirked his brow. “Who has a pet store emergency?” He turned around to walk away, glancing over his shoulder to say, “I’ll help you when we open, man. There’s a Starbucks on the corner, you can wait there.”

 

Kylo rolled his shoulders. Fine. He wasn’t going to play around with this man, nor was he going to wait around or return to Rey without something to feed the kitten. With practiced ease, he flickered out of existence and reappeared on the other side of the glass to stand inside.

 

“I’m afraid I must insist,” he intoned, expression darkening when the man whirled on him, panic clear on his face.

 

“You’re--you’re--a--a--”

 

The bearded man-- _Carl,_ according to the nametag pinned to his shirt--stumbled over his feet, making backward steps as he stared.

 

“A witch, yes,” he finished for him, gaze narrowing dangerously. “I don’t have time for your blithering.”

 

Kylo stormed past him, his peacoat brushing with Carl’s shoulder as he took heavy steps towards the aisle labeled _feline care._

 

There was a reason he had no interest in mingling with the masses. He didn’t have the patience to put up with fearful, little men and their petty lives. The untouched were insufferable and Kylo had a more important purpose than protecting their small, jittery minds.

 

“You can’t just--”

 

Kylo turned down the aisle, scanning wet and dry foods, pursing his lips as he dropped into a crouch. There were more options than he had anticipated and he wasn’t sure if the dry powder formula was better than the type that came in a can so he grabbed them both before snatching a kitten feeding bottle.

 

Carl was gaping as he started again, “You can’t just barge in here! I don’t care _who_ you are--”

 

Kylo reached into his pocket for his wallet, the formula and bottle cradled in the curl of his arm. He retrieved two crisp twenty dollar bills, much more than what his purchases were worth, and tucked them into the man’s breast pocket, then gently patted his chest.

 

“A lamb should know better than to bleat in the jaws of a wolf,” he murmured. _“I_ can take whatever I want.”

 

* * *

 

Rey was laying on her side, still lounging on the discarded sweater, a perfectly white ball of fur pressed against her exposed belly. Her contentedness permeated every corner of his living room, it was like walking into a warm cloud. She glanced up at him, making a guttural meow in her throat, before letting her soft gaze drop back to the kitten nestled in her fur.

 

He dropped to his knees, quietly gasping as he realized the kitten had latched onto a nipple and was suckling in search of milk.

 

 _He thinks I’m his mother._ Her thought was so quiet, Kylo wondered if she was afraid that even a loud thought would disturb his desperate sucking.

 

Slowly, not wanting to interrupt the peaceful scene, he stroked the fur behind her ears with a private smile.

 

“Of course, kitten,” he whispered. “That’s what you’ll be.”

 

Kylo left them in silence, letting adoptive mother and son bond over the intimate physical connection while he hurried into the kitchen. The formula needed to be heated--he knew that much, at least--he cracked open a can of the liquid formula and poured it into a saucepan over low heat.

 

He tore open the plastic packaging for the feeding bottle and meticulously cleaned it in the sink with a sponge, constantly glancing from the corner of his eye at the warming formula.

 

Kylo dipped a finger into the formula after a few minutes, pleased to find it was only a few degrees over body temperature. Pulling the saucepan off the heat immediately, he poured its contents into the bottle, screwing on the rubber mouthpiece as he returned to Rey. In an instant, she stood, shifting away from the whining kitten to return to her human form.

 

Without a moment’s pause, she held her hand out to take the bottle, placing the kitten over her bare breast as she offered him a rubber teat. He didn’t hesitate to drink from the bottle and Kylo watched in amazement, mute as he slid between her and the couch arm.

 

“I never thought I’d be able to do this,” she breathed, relaxing into his side.

 

Rey laughed wetly as the kitten gulped down formula voraciously, her thumb brushing over white tufts of newly washed fur, sticking in odd directions after the attentive cleaning she had given him.

 

“He’ll need extra care,” she continued in a whisper. “His mother must have left him behind because he’s blind.”

 

Kylo snaked an arm around her waist, hand gripping the warm skin of her naked hip. “I know. Does that bother you?”

 

Rey shook her head, sniffing. “I think I need him as much as he needs me.”

 

He made no answer, instead basking in her unadulterated happiness. For the first time in a century, he felt as if he had a _family_. His mother was estranged, his uncle only just back in Kylo’s life. They would never be a family again and this was a fact he had accepted years ago. There was no forgiving his sins, no seeing past the crushing disappointment and betrayal.

 

He was old enough now that he didn’t really blame them for their visceral rejection.

 

Maybe he could start to let that go. He’d never mend his relationship with his mother, but enough time had passed that it was no longer something he desired.

 

Kylo was reminded then of the unexpected invitation she had made for him to join the centennial anniversary of Han Solo’s death. He had no desire to go, no _right,_ but perhaps this was his chance to break ties forever.

 

He combed his fingers through long strands of auburn hair to distract himself, moving wavy locks away from Rey’s ear, exposing the perfect, rounded shell. She glanced at him briefly, her cheeks bursting with pink as he arched his neck to kiss the sensitive skin just below it.

 

A confession crept up his throat, one he was only able to stop with the clench of his teeth. Three words burned in the back of his mouth, three words he wasn’t ready to say and she surely wasn’t prepared to hear. His chest tightened as he forced those three words back down, acidic as they slipped back into his stomach.

 

That didn’t make them any less true.

 

“Do you want breakfast?” he finally asked.

 

Her pretty, pink lips grazed his cheek and he took that as an affirmation.

 

* * *

 

Kylo had to go into the shop to assist a witch with a dreamless sleep potion but despite Mitaka’s frantic insistence that he _hurry,_ he made sure Rey was situated and reasonably comfortable with using the stovetop to warm formula. Kittens required feeding much more frequently than he had realized and though it shouldn’t take him very long to help his customer, he wouldn’t want her to have to wait around for him.

 

Besides, it was time he did some grocery shopping and Kylo wanted to cook something special for Rey.

 

She head-butted his open palm affectionately to say goodbye, unwilling to stay in her human form for very long. Once more, the kitten had burrowed into the soft fur of her belly.

 

 _Come home soon,_ floated into his head and Kylo smiled at the domesticity of it.

 

His mind was firmly fixed on her through the hour and a half of brewing, causing him to nearly lose a finger as he finely chopped a cluster of German chamomile flowers. It had forced him to start over; if any blood made its way into the mixture, the results would be downright dangerous. His customer had traveled in from Poulsbo and she was miffed by the wait, but there was a reason witches were willing to make the trip rather than go to more localized potions brewers.

 

He had a quality guarantee and decades of experience to back it up.

 

Mitaka managed to keep him around long enough to help with a delivery. A lot of the herbs and spices he sold were from his own hot house gardens but certain products still had to be outsourced and it was a relatively busy day. Part of him felt guilty for running Mitaka ragged but, then again, he paid the man very well to do his job.

 

It was mid-afternoon when he escaped _Ren’s,_ and though he had planned on returning to Rey sooner he picked up a loaf of Pugliese and a bounty of vegetables to have with Linguiça. There were so many foods he wanted to share with her if only to see her scarf it down with her usual enthusiasm. Kylo wasn’t convinced there was anything quite as satisfying as being able to cook for someone who truly appreciated it.

 

He fumbled with his keys at the door, his paper bags somewhat cumbersome.

 

The haze of joy that had warmed his home had been leached away. The sweater Rey had been resting on with the kitten was folded where it had been left on the couch and she was nowhere to be found. His eyes followed the length of his striped sofa to his leather arm chair.

 

In it, one leg hooked over the other and a prim expression on her unchanging, youthful face, sat Leia Organa.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for your feedback! It is very appreciated. :)
> 
> Since I'm horrible at naming things, what do you guys think the kitten should be named?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you grlie-girl for all your encouragement and for being an awesome beta all in all! <3 <3
> 
> And thank you fairhairedkings for your latin assistance!

Kylo let his groceries drop. A yellow onion came stumbling out, rolling awkwardly across the floor and quickly followed by a zucchini, but he was already several paces away, rushing to his closed bedroom door.

 

His mother called after him as he disappeared down the hall, “Ben--”

 

He seethed at the name he had left behind. _“Shut up!”_

 

Kylo jiggled the doorknob--it was locked.

 

“Rey,” he uttered, unable to keep the panic from his voice, his palms flat against the wood. “It’s me. Are you safe?”

 

There was no answer.

 

For a moment, dread crawled down his spine. Had his mother already had her taken away to be held in some detention area only the council knew about? Would she disappear like the rest of the therians, ripped from his arms only just as he’s learned how he felt about her? Kylo knew he would never deserve Rey but to have her stolen from him was too cruel of a punishment.

 

His mother’s voice was directly behind him when she spoke again, a sharpened edge that few dared to contend with. “Ben, what the hell is going on here?”

 

“I told you to shut up,” he snarled. “Get out of my house while you’re at it. You had no fucking right to come here, never mind let yourself in.”

 

He didn’t turn to look at the hurt expression his mother made but he could feel it like the point of a needle between his shoulderblades. Kylo didn’t care. She had crossed a line and he could only imagine how fearful Rey must have been to have a strange woman suddenly barge in.

 

“Rey,” Kylo repeated desperately. “Please let me in.”

 

Silence.

 

Evidently, his mother didn’t know when to let sleeping dogs lie. A small, familiar hand pressed against his upper back. It brought to mind how she had once soothed his boyhood nightmares with the same warm weight of her palm and outstretched fingers.

 

“Ben, look at me, _please--”_

 

He rolled his shoulders with a rough jerk, dislodging her hand.

 

“Don’t touch me. I told you to _leave_. Go before you ruin something else.”

 

Patience running thin, his concern boiling over, Kylo picked the lock with a flick of his hand. His mother made to follow but before she could get any further, he slammed the bedroom door shut again. Chewie was crouched at the foot of the bed, a low growl rumbling in his throat became a whine at Kylo’s approach. Ever loyal, the hound had been guarding Rey and the kitten.

 

“Good boy,” he croaked, patting Chewie’s head as he passed him to reach Rey, still in her feline form, the fur along her curved spine standing on end, her white kitten mewling into her belly.

 

“I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” he whispered, slumping next to her on the bed, his much larger body curling around her.

 

Panic had fragmented her thoughts, making them more difficult to interpret as they tumbled into his head.

 

_Knocking. Came inside. Ran._

 

Kylo nodded his head, biting his lip as he slowly dragged a hand over her side. “I shouldn’t have left you alone. I should have known _she_ wouldn’t leave me alone indefinitely.”

 

In a quiet tone, he added, “I was afraid she took you away from me.”

 

Rey lifted her head then, meeting his gaze. With a long shudder, she shifted, willowy, naked limbs twisting with his, the kitten still clinging to her bare breast. Her hair spilled over the edge of the bed, cascading onto the floor.

 

It was perhaps her least successful transformation to date. Triangular ears peeked out from her hair and too-wide eyes with narrowed pupils blinked up at him as she resisted the gathering moisture that threatened to spill, but more startling than either of these features was the gray, faintly striped tail that had curled over the swell of her hip. Kylo didn’t have the heart to point out her failure.

 

“Hold me,” she whimpered at the same moment he moved his arms to do just that, sure to leave enough space between them for the kitten.

 

After a minute, she sniffled, “Do you think they left?”

 

Rey was answered by an impatient series of raps on the bedroom door. “Ben, what are you hiding from me? Are you _trying_ to get locked away?”

 

“I told you to _leave!”_ he roared back.

 

To his mother, that was an invitation to enter. The door swung open, and she stood still in horror. There was no hiding Rey now, nor was there any lie he could give that would convince his mother she was anything but a therian.

 

Covering her mouth with a trembling hand, she asked, _“What_ have you done?”

 

* * *

 

In an instant, Kylo was back on his feet as Rey coiled into a defensive ball behind him.

 

Familial bonds were irrelevant. Growling, he raised his arm to snatch a powerful ward from the air, clenching his fingers into a fist and yanking it downward.

 

_“Qui relinquet, morietur.”_

 

The bluish, afternoon light that had been streaming in through his window dimmed to a dull, ominous gray, as if a dark cloud had dropped directly onto his house.

 

No living creature would be able to leave his presence without paying the ultimate price--something his mother was well aware if her mortified expression was any indication. She recognized the spell he had used.

 

Not that Kylo particularly _cared_. He couldn’t allow her to run off the premises without knowing that she wouldn’t pose a threat to Rey’s safety and that was his highest priority. Not reconciling with a _traitor_.

 

“You’re willing to kill your own mother over…” Leia hesitated with her word choice, perhaps unprepared to name what she knew Rey to be, “...over _that_ creature?”

 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Rey flinch. Fresh fury ignited in his blood, his glare narrowing as he fixed it on the dainty woman he had once looked up to.

 

His retort was swift and deadly, having sat ready at the tip of his tongue for _years_. “What mother chooses her political standing over her only child?”

 

Regret shaded her eyes and forced her to look away. His accusation was sharp enough to lance her cold, hard insides and a sick part of him felt satisfied that she was even capable of guilt for her actions. She deserved worse.

 

A man with a five o’clock shadow and a thick head of curls stormed across his home from where he had been lurking in the kitchen. Kylo sneered at the sight of the untouched man, another unwanted intruder who could walk through his ward and drop dead, as far as he was concerned.

 

“Ms. Organa, are you okay?” he asked, frantically rushing to his mother’s side. “Should we leave?”

 

Kylo barked a cruel laugh. “Feel free to, if you so wish.”

 

_“Ben!”_ His mother admonished.

 

He let his eyes drop back to the woman invading his home. “You don’t get to leave until you make an oath to leave her alone.”

 

If he had to choose only two words to describe his mother, they would be stern and stubborn.

 

She crossed her arms. “I suppose this will be an extended visit, then. I am obligated to report any use of forbidden magic and therianthropy is almost just as bad as necromancy. What were you _thinking?_ If this is made public, you’ll be put in chains! You could be sacrificed to Death Himself! _I’ll_ lose my position--”

 

“Of course,” Kylo interrupted with a snarl, “that’s what matters most to you, after all. Your fucking career.”

 

“If I’m recalled, there will be no one to protect you, Ben! Do you _know_ what I’ve had to do to keep you walking free? How many necromancers have the same luxury?”

 

He scoffed. “Don’t pretend you did anything for my sake. _You_ were the one who reported me in the first place.”

 

She sucked in sharply, the brown eyes she had passed down to him widening. His mother had been unaware of just how much he _knew_. Kylo would be perfectly happy to lord it over her for the rest of eternity, that he knew just how deep her falsehoods ran. It was as if her blood itself was composed of lies.

 

His rage came to a standstill when a hand gripped the back of his coat and tugged.

 

Rey’s voice was thin, sneaking past a barely restrained sob. “Kylo, _stop.”_

 

He stiffened at the fear-- _her fear_ \--that surrounded them in plumes. “I can’t let them take you.”

 

“You’re scaring me,” she breathed.

 

He turned his back on his mother, not interested in what she thought.

 

Rey was kneeling behind him, a hand holding the kitten up to the crook of her neck, her hair only just protecting her modesty--not that she was at all bothered by what their unexpected visitors saw. Her lovely, freckled face was red and wet from crying and the feeling that _he_ had caused her tears overwhelmed Kylo.

 

He nodded his head, gathering her into his arms, blocking her from view.

 

“I’m just trying to keep you safe, kitten,” he mumbled into her hair, gulping in the warm, herbal scent it radiated. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever lose you.”

 

“Go insane,” she sniffed, trying and failing to lighten her tone.

 

Rey wasn’t wrong, he couldn’t even deny it.

 

“Yeah,” he grumbled, unable to keep the smile from his voice.

 

After a long moment of observation, his mother sighed. “Poe, go finish making my tea. I’m willing to hear what they have to say in their defense.”

 

* * *

 

Rey emerged from the bedroom in a clean flannel, her legs still characteristically bare. Kylo watched her from his chair as she crossed the living room to march into the kitchen. Her eyes flit up at him, though she nervously avoided looking at either his mother or her untouched assistant, before her gaze fell to her feet, her feline ears pressed flat to the crown of her head.

 

He pushed himself onto his feet by the arms of his leather chair, which his mother had been unable to stop looking at while he was in it. He could tell seeing him in his father’s chair reminded her of Han.

 

His mother’s assistant, Poe Dameron, as he had introduced himself with an odd enthusiasm despite Kylo’s mild death threat, had taken it upon himself to put away the dropped groceries left by the front entrance.

 

Kylo had hoped to romance her tonight. He had planned to cook her something nice, perhaps break out the bottle of red Bordeaux collecting dust in the cabinet above his refrigerator, draw her a bath...maybe join her. Then he would have taken her to bed _properly_.

 

It had all played out so beautifully in his head while Kylo had stood in line at the store.

 

He’d never tried to romance someone before. Kylo had been looking forward to it. Now that plan had been completely dashed.

 

For a few seconds, he watched Rey from the archway into the kitchen. She was hovering over the stovetop, presumably warming more formula for the kitten she was making low, gentle noises to. Her spine was straight, her shoulders forming sharp, tense angles, and Kylo wanted nothing more than to offer her some semblance of relief.

 

His mother was impatient, this much Kylo could sense, but his ward was still in effect. She could wait, as far as he was concerned. He approached quietly, slipping his hand over the curve of her hip.

 

Rey jolted at his unexpected touch, a yelp catching in her throat. She whirled on him, fully prepared to lash out in fear, only to freeze at realizing it was him. With a slow exhale, she tipped forward, dropping her face into his chest.

 

“How can you be sure that I’m worth the trouble? I...I don’t want to just make your life more complicated. That’s all I seem to _do.”_

 

Kylo wished there was a way for him to describe exactly what she meant to him. He hated to see her doubt, unable to shake the feeling it was his responsibility to wipe it away. Everything was so new; it would take time for him to prove she had no reason to doubt that her place was at his side.

 

He crushed his lips to the crooked, lightning bolt parting of her hair. “You’re _everything.”_

 

“I’m not sure I know what that means,” Rey laughed weakly, pausing before she asked in a small voice, “Can I kiss you?”

 

He regretted that he had ever thought pushing her away would be for the best. They still hadn’t discussed what they were but after what had transpired that morning, he would have hoped she wouldn’t feel the need to ask him for permission.

 

“Please do,” he mumbled, tongue darting out to taste the pink swell of her lower lip as her face neared, Rey pushing up onto the balls of her feet to reach him.

 

Her mouth flattened against his, twisting into another angle to gradually spread open, her free hand grasping at his hair. Her little tongue flicked at his curiously, uncertain as she delved into his mouth, but he let her probe and taste as much as she wanted, grinning when she scraped at his bottom lip with pearly, white teeth.

 

As inexperienced as she was, Rey had good instinct.

 

New irritation burst in his chest at the thought that they should be alone, free to fully explore with fingers and lips.

 

She lowered back onto her heels with an expression of dazed desire.

 

“I think…” he hesitated. Kylo knew he couldn’t keep making promises that he was capable of protecting her. “I think we should get this over with.”

 

In silence, she bottled the warm formula and followed him back into the living room. He took his seat once more and without looking at their guests, she turned to sit in his lap, her legs hanging over the arm of his chair. With soft coos of encouragement, Rey guided the rubber nipple into the kitten’s yawning mouth.

 

Glaring, he _dared_ his mother to say something. Wisely, she kept her mouth shut.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE I GET ANGRY PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW I'VE WRITTEN LEIA, I would like to point out that Kylo is not a reliable narrator and we're only getting his side of the story. He doesn't know why she made the decision to turn him in so he's assuming it was for her career.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and for the amazing feedback! <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU GRLIE-GIRL FOR HELPING ME THROUGH THIS CHAPTER!! <3 <3 <3
> 
> And thank you to Poethrotsvitha for helping me name the kitten! I had so many good suggestions, it was difficult to choose.

Rey’s tail was flicking back and forth nervously, gently whapping against his leg, and Kylo knew his mother was staring. How could she not? Rey was so obviously non-human.

 

In a slow, calm voice, not wanting to disturb the feeding kitten, Kylo spoke. His mother was surprisingly respectful, not interrupting as he told her most of what had happened. She didn’t need to know what Rey meant to him, though she had likely made her own inferences.

 

He noticed her assistant furiously taking notes from the corner of his eye, saw his mother’s expression become more and more grim as he droned on.

 

Finally, she asked, “What do you intend to do about Plutt?”

 

He sighed. Rey had turned into him more fully, the first few buttons of the flannel she had put on open so she could hold the kitten against her skin. The shirt kept riding up and amused as he usually would have been by the question of whether or not she wore anything beneath it, Kylo was certain she _wasn’t_ this time for her tail to be freely moving.

 

Rey looked up at him curiously, sensing his gaze.

 

“What happens to Plutt isn’t up to me,” he responded at length.

 

His mother gave him a pointed look. _“Really.”_

 

Kylo scoffed. “Yes, _really._ If Rey wants me to...deal with him, I’ll hunt him down right now.”

 

This answer was not one she had expected. Before, he likely would have exacted revenge swiftly and without mercy for what he had done to Rey. Deep down, he was fully prepared to do just that, if that was what she wanted.

 

His mother made a short, impatient sound. “Fine. Do you plan to send my son out to find Plutt?”

 

Rey jolted, startled at being addressed. Though Kylo had been talking about her for close to an hour, she hadn’t expected to be brought into the conversation. Slowly, she twisted to look at his mother in clear bewilderment.

 

“I don’t know,” she confessed quietly. “I don’t want him to get into even more trouble because of me.”

 

Silently, Leia stood, nodding.

 

“Ben, drop your ward. I have to think about all of this but for the moment, I’m not going to do anything to her.”

 

“I want a blood oath first,” he reiterated. “From you _and_ your untouched assistant. You can’t be allowed to tell someone about Rey.”

 

Rey tensed on his lap. She didn’t like this, Kylo was certain, but not everything he had to do to keep her safe and at his side was going to be agreeable. He gently squeezed the hand he had on her hip, trying to reassure her without words.

 

“You can’t trust me to keep my word?” his mother murmured.

 

“No,” he replied flatly. “I can’t. Don’t act so surprised, you’ve betrayed me in the past.”

 

“Ben--”

 

“I don’t want to hear excuses,” he interrupted.

 

His mother stood straighter. “I want something in return, then. When I go to visit your father’s grave on the centennial, you will _both_ join me.”

 

Kylo scowled. “No. No way in _hell_. That isn’t going to happen. This isn’t a negotiation so you can either accept my terms or--”

 

“Kylo,” Rey interrupted gently. He worked his jaw, teeth clenched even as she tipped his face towards her, her small palm caressing his cheek. “I don’t want you to do this for me. She’s your _mother_. It doesn’t matter what she’s done, you can’t just threaten her.”

 

Frustration bubbled under his skin. He tried to look away from her, a new sense of betrayal coiling in his gut. Rey understood the risk of letting Leia walk free, surely. She knew it could mean being rent in two when they were supposed to be one. Thick, suffocating pitch coated his fragile heart; perhaps she didn’t care so much if she was taken away. She had tried to leave in the past. She didn’t have the same depth of emotion that he harbored for her--

 

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” she said, voice taking on a sharp edge.

 

Kylo blinked, unseeing. Her thumb stroked the thin, delicate skin under his eye, catching moisture he hadn’t realized was escaping. He hated how lost he felt, exposed for his mother and the stranger she had brought into his home to see. He was supposed to be strong, if not for his own sake then for Rey’s. How was he supposed to protect her if the threat of losing her broke him so easily?

 

Why would Rey want such a pathetic, selfish man?

 

He ducked his head, his hair spilling forward to hide his pitiful tears.

 

“You promise not to tell anyone about Rey?” he whispered, hoping his mother couldn’t hear the way his voice cracked.

 

His mother’s voice seemed far away, as if she was speaking from another room rather than standing a few feet away. “I do.”

 

Kylo nodded his head. “Then go. Leave us in peace.”

 

* * *

 

The moment they were alone again, exhaustion swept him away. Without a word, Rey pulled him to his feet and guided him to his bedroom, sitting him at the edge of the bed.

 

She carefully placed the kitten in his large palm, then slowly opened his shirt button by button. It slid from his shoulders, sleeves caught in the sharp angles of his elbows. He started when she kneeled at his feet, but her attention was on his shoelaces. She untied them with soft tugs, then slipped his boots from his feet and his socks followed them.

 

She went for his belt buckle next, and Kylo cleared his throat. “Rey, I’m not sure I’m up for that.”

 

The first time he had sex with her, Kylo didn’t want to be distracted by his worry. He didn’t want to feel so confused. She deserved to be ravished, to be taken apart with slow tastes and wandering fingers before he made her whole again.

 

She jerked his leather belt out of the loops in his jeans regardless.

 

“I know,” she answered, meeting his gaze as her thumb ran over his pants button. “I just want to feel your skin against mine.”

 

Rey popped the button free, slowly dragging the zipper down. “Is...is that okay?”

 

Kylo swallowed. It didn’t feel as if anything would ever be _okay_ again. But he understood her need for physical touch.

 

Inclining his head, he lifted his hips, allowing her to pull his jeans free. Her hands grazed up the length of his shins, over the bony points of his knees, and then up the meat of his thighs, eyes never leaving his. Gradually, she stood, fingertips skimming over his briefs to curl into the band around his waist.

 

She was waiting for him to stop her, for him to say _no_.

 

Kylo wasn’t going to reject her again.

 

He exhaled, eyelids slipping shut as she bared him to her gaze.

 

Rey sighed and she didn’t feel the need to ask for permission to kiss him, this time. Her lips glided over his, fleeting and perfect, and in a low tone she told him:

 

“I’m not sure how that’s supposed to fit inside me.”

 

Kylo couldn’t prevent the chuckle that tumbled from his mouth and though she slapped his chest in retaliation, he could feel the stretch of her smile as she kissed him again. He hadn’t imagined them undressing each other for the first time in this context but Kylo hardly cared, guiding Rey closer with a hand on the small of her back.

 

She tore her shirt over her head and flung it across the floor. Then they were naked. Together.

 

“I’ll be gentle,” he softly promised.

 

Her breath escaped her in a rush, puffing against his skin. “I know.”

 

Satisfied, Kylo scooted across the bed to toss back the sheet and comforter. She padded around to the side of the bed, lifting the kitten from his palm to press the little, fluffy creature against her chest. Her movements were slightly rigid and nervous as she lowered onto the mattress, turning to lay with her back to him, her hair resting under her cheek and flowing over the edge of the bed.

 

Kylo covered them with the blankets and then inched closer, his muscles tense as he slotted into the curves of her slender body. She was soft and warm, and when she relaxed against him, he rested his arm in the dip of her waist, his knees drawing up so they fit perfectly behind hers.

 

His muscles eased and sleep took him.

 

* * *

 

When Kylo woke, Rey was dozing in her feline form on top of the comforter, the kitten huddled in the soft fur of her belly. He smiled to himself, propping himself up onto his elbow and leaning over to lightly kiss her head, only to find the kitten suckling on one of her nipples again, making low, grunting sounds. The poor thing must have been hungry again, and he felt a twinge of concern at noticing how swollen her little teats looked, abused by desperate, constant sucking.

 

He crept from the bed and tread across the house naked, allowing her to sleep as he prepared another bottle of formula. Undoubtedly, she had been up multiple times in the night to feed him and he wanted to let her rest if he could.

 

Kylo shivered from where he stood in front of the stove, and his cold fingers fumbled with the bottle. He shuffled back into the bedroom in a rush to get under the covers once more, detaching the kitten from Rey with care.

 

“Come on, little man,” he murmured, stroking white fur with his thumb. The kitten squirmed, mewling in what Kylo could only assume was a complaint. “Let your Momma sleep.”

 

He would need a name, Kylo realized, watching as the kitten latched onto the rubber nipple. Had Rey thought about it at all? What sort of name would she choose? He hadn’t the faintest clue and he hummed thoughtfully.

 

“Hades?” he wondered aloud, continuing in a mutter, “Or maybe Cerberus?”

 

Kylo wasn’t fully satisfied. “Nyx?”

 

No.

 

“Barghest?”

 

The kitten turned away from the bottle to give a quiet burp. Kylo quietly laughed. “Do you like that one?”

 

The kitten rolled in his lap, waddling towards Rey.

 

“Barghest,” he repeated. The kitten was scrambling over Rey’s sleeping form. “I thought we decided to let her sleep.”

 

She was already shifting, rolling onto her back as her hazel eyes peered up at him.

 

_Barghest?_ She inquired with a subdued, weary thought.

 

Perhaps it wasn’t such a fitting name, after all. For all he knew, Rey already _had_ named the kitten. He shrugged, the tips of his fingers grazing along her exposed stomach, impeded by the rounded body of white fur curled into her warmth.

 

She curled her neck forward, pink tongue dragging over the kitten’s fur.

 

With a shudder, she transformed, limbs stretching out on his mattress, Barghest resting over her navel.

 

“Gary,” she mumbled at length, her hand cupping the kitten against her naked skin.

 

He snickered, shaking his head. Only Rey could find a way to make _Barghest_ sound cute.

 

This was hardly the first time Kylo had seen her fully bared to him. Still, he had never really taken the time to _look_ before, to admire her slight curves and freckled skin. His gaze circled around her breasts, the points of her nipples a vivid, irritated pink, before he allowed it to trail down the length of her figure. The juncture of her thighs was shielded by an unruly thatch of dark hairs but he could see the crease of her sex and heat churned in his gut.

 

She must have noticed where his gaze was fixed because she shifted her hips, slowly parting her legs for him to admire her. Kylo wondered if he should push back the covers and let her watch his cock harden with appreciation.

 

His tongue flicked over his lower lip to wet it.

 

“Touch me,” Rey breathed.

 

Kylo dragged the blankets from his lap and she made a surprised, keening sound at the sight of his half-erect dick. A proud smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he made a cocoon of blankets and placed Barghest in the insulated center to keep warm. He shimmied closer, on his side while she remained on her back, his swelling cock pressed against the softness of her hip.

 

His mouth descended on hers, tongue viciously swiping through her lips to devour Rey. She happily sighed, one arm snaking around his neck to keep his lips from wandering away before she was satisfied.

 

His hand reached to carefully cover the small mound of her sex. She was hot and tender enough to gasp at the weight of his palm--Kylo leisurely slid a single digit up the length of her slit, drinking in her answering moan.

 

She was gorgeous. He wanted to lose himself in her tight hold and swallow every startled hiccup.

 

Tentative fingers brushed along his length and Kylo grinned into her hot, moist mouth, rocking once against her hip. Encouraged, they wrapped around the base of his cock to timidly squeeze him.

 

He rubbed his finger against her clitoris for only a moment, pleased by the way she jerked at his touch, before dragging it back down through her folds. Kylo repeated this, the fist she had around him clenching slightly with every rough pass of his fingertip over her clit. It was only when his finger slipped through a rush of her slick that he prodded at her entrance, raising his head to watch her lips fall open in wonder.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” he told her.

 

Rey shuddered, looking prepared to protest his claim, but he refused to give her the chance. He thrust a second finger into her, his thumb delicately grinding on the raised point of flesh above her slit. She wriggled her hips, arching experimentally under his hand, her unmoving fist tightening around his length in unpredictable increments and Kylo grunted, jolting into her grip.

 

A shiny bead of precum dribbled from the head of his dick and he smeared it into her hip with rough undulations, admiring how the line of fluid on her skin glistened.

 

He never thought he would be able to touch her so intimately, or that she would want to touch him back. Now he _was,_ and he couldn’t contain his excitement.

 

Her small hand was dry and he unwrapped her fingers to bring them up to his mouth, chuckling at her squeal when he flattened his tongue against her palm. Moist with his saliva, he guided her hand back to his cock. She clenched him again and Kylo showed her exactly what he needed, tugging her fist up and down.

 

Her bright, wide eyes met his, uncertainty and shyness crossing her expression, her face red with arousal and her breath coming out in pants. “Like that?”

 

Kylo growled as she turned her wrist, dipping down to nip at her parted lips. “Just like that, kitten.”

 

A gasp tore from her chest. His fingers were making faint squelching sounds as they moved in and out of her slick heat, she rolled her hips to meet his hand instinctively.

 

“Call me that again,” she whispered against his mouth.

 

He hummed. “Your pussy is so pretty, kitten. So wet and hot and tight for me.”

 

The slender fingers around him gave a vicious yank that ripped a moan from his throat.

 

Rey whined into the shell of his ear as he glided a third digit into her. Her free hand twisted into his hair, nails digging into his scalp, her hips rocking desperately. She was fucking his fingers. He was fucking hers.

 

She was being undone by _him_ and he couldn’t stop staring.

 

“That’s it, kitten,” he murmured. “Let go, I’ve got you.”

 

Rey groaned, the sound choked as her walls fluttered around him. “Oh, _Kylo--”_

 

Her eyes scrunched shut, muscles spasming in decadent pleasure, her grip constricting on him as he thrust into her hand frantically.

 

A shiver ran down his spine before he snapped, his body taut as he muffled a shout in the damp curve where her neck met her shoulder. His come spattered white against her dainty hip and Kylo didn’t resist the urge to rub it into her silky skin, mixing her own release with his.

 

Her smile was dazed. She shifted onto her side to face him, throwing a leg over his hip to bring them closer.

 

Kylo combed back her wild hair. Without a single ounce of control, he uttered:

 

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UM. So, that happened.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone that's stuck with this story and been so patient with my sporadic updates. Your comments mean the world! :')


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my lovely, encouraging beta, grlie-girl! And thank you vixenofcourse for helping me work through my block. <3 <3
> 
> Thank you so much for being patient with me! I know the wait between chapters was really long this time.
> 
> Since it has been so long, here's a recap:
> 
>  
> 
> A shiver ran down his spine before he snapped, his body taut as he muffled a shout in the damp curve where her neck met her shoulder. His come spattered white against her dainty hip and Kylo didn’t resist the urge to rub it into her silky skin, mixing her own release with his.
> 
> Her smile was dazed. She shifted onto her side to face him, throwing a leg over his hip to bring them closer.
> 
> Kylo combed back her wild hair. Without a single ounce of control, he uttered:
> 
> “I love you.”

_Oh, no._

 

He watched her swollen, red lips fall open, a stunned look crossing her face.

 

Oh, no. Oh, no.

 

She wasn’t supposed to know. Not yet. Not before she was ready to say it back, if ever. His throat tightened as panic crawled up it like bile.

 

Kylo rolled onto his back. He stared at the ceiling. Let Earth swallow him whole.

 

His ears burned as a flush spread over his cheeks. How adolescent of him. Kylo wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so mortified in his life. What kind of fool makes love confessions the moment they’ve come? What must she think of him?

 

She sniffed and instantly he craned his neck to glance worriedly at her profile.

 

“I’m sorry,” he rushed to say, “I shouldn’t have just blurted that out—”

 

A small hand slapped over his mouth. Rey shifted, rising onto her elbows to glare down at him. Her breasts brushed against his arm, her face looming over his so that he couldn’t avoid meeting her eyes. They were a pair of hazel shards of glass—he lost himself in their reflection.

 

“Do you mean that, Kylo?”

 

He slowly exhaled through his nose, eyes sliding shut. It wasn’t as if he could deny it; Kylo loved her without a doubt.

 

Gently, he pried her hand away from his mouth.

 

“Rey—”

 

She covered his lips once more. “Yes or no, Kylo. Do you mean that?”

 

He swallowed.

 

“If you mean it, I don’t want you to take it back,” Rey whispered, trembling above him. “Please, don’t take it back.”

 

He kissed her palm, blinking up her lovely eyes. Her muscles eased and he moved up her wrist. Kylo didn’t want to hurt her and that was exactly what he seemed to be doing. When would he learn how to speak to Rey without causing her pain?

 

Long fingers curling around slender wrists, he sat abruptly. Kylo held them above her head in one hand, pressing her back into the mattress so quickly she hardly had the chance to object. Her breath hitched, a shudder crawling down her limbs as he leaned closer.

 

“I love you,” he repeated, not allowing doubt to taint his voice.

 

Her eyelashes fluttered but that wasn’t enough to disguise the gloss of tears that glistened in the morning light.

 

Nothing he said was right. He should have controlled his tongue, waited for a better time to tell her—

 

He flinched at the sound of her tight-throated sob.

 

Rey ripped her wrists away and he offered no resistance, hiding her face with both forearms. He wished he could take it all back, return to the happy peacefulness of holding her warm, soft body to his.

 

Her voice was strained, escaping through clenched teeth as she told him, “No one has ever loved me before.”

 

Kylo couldn’t imagine such a thing. The thought that no one—not a single living being—had ever loved Rey was inconceivable. The more he knew her, the more he was convinced Rey was made to be loved.

 

Gently, he wrapped his fingers around a slender wrist, peeling her arm from her face to see how her lips wobbled.

 

“Rey—”

 

Her voice was high and strained when she interrupted him. “Please, Kylo, tell me again.”

 

He dropped his mouth to the sharp angle of her chin to plant a wet kiss, ghosting towards her lips. “I love you.”

 

She nodded her head. Kylo swore that he’d continue to repeat those words until she believed them.

 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he whispered, each renewed proclamation punctuated by the firm press of his lips.

 

Rey wept, her arms twisting around his neck to pull him so close, he could feel nothing but her skin.

 

* * *

 

He watched her breathing slow and her eyelashes flutter against the urge to sleep. Her nipples were darkened and swollen—she made a low sound of discomfort when Kylo carefully grazed one with the pad of his thumb. He wondered if it was just his imagination or if her chest looked fuller, somehow.

 

Mindful not to stir her, he disentangled their limbs, placing an equally lethargic Barghest over her heart before covering them both with the comforter.

 

Though she had left his home in peace, he knew the dilemma with his mother was far from being done with. It was out of the question for Rey to come with him to visit his father’s grave; deep in his gut, Kylo sensed that she would be in danger. Yet, was it wise to leave her here, utterly unprotected? He hadn’t brought up his offer to teach her again for fear of her reaction but he couldn’t allow her to remain so defenseless forever.

 

He wasn’t sure how, or when, to broach that conversation with Rey. The events of the past day were still heavy on his mind and he doubted she had forgotten just how vulnerable she was against another witch.

 

She didn’t technically need to be his apprentice in order for Kylo to teach her, though having the title would make her, to an extent, untouchable. No one dared impede on the sanctity of a bond between master and apprentice—though her status as a forbidden being made him question how far that unspoken decree would serve to protect her. If it offered them enough time for Rey to learn to protect herself, he would be satisfied.

 

Kylo knew he needed to consider more than the near future. One day, she might have no choice but to run. He was somewhat startled by his own conviction when he realized without a moment of doubt that he would go with her. Any other alternative was unthinkable.

 

He would rather have nothing than not have Rey.

 

Tugging on a fresh pair of sweatpants and some woolen socks, Kylo silently left the bedroom. He pulled a sweater over his head as he padded over to the hearth. When he checked the flue—it had been over a year since he’d cleaned the chimney and he tended to rely on his fireplace to heat the house during the daytime in winter—it was clear. With cold fingers, he swept the hearth, then arranged a few oak logs to get a fire started. It would burn slow and hot. Hot enough to bake with a dutch oven.

 

For a minute, Kylo sat back on the small rug by the fireplace, watching short, orange flames flicker and lick at the wood, catching and spreading as the fire steadily grew. Hopefully, the living room would be warm by the time Rey emerged from bed with Barghest.

 

Once thoroughly warmed, he stooped to his feet and entered the kitchen to put on the kettle. There was a definite benefit to living in a one-story house; soon, this room would be heated by the fire as well.

 

They hadn’t eaten before falling into bed together and Kylo knew she would be hungry once she woke. The loaf of pugliese sat on his counter, still wrapped in the paper bag from the grocery store, and the linguiça was on the top shelf in the refrigerator. He snatched the sausage and placed a skillet on the cooking range.

 

As it sizzled in a spill of olive oil, he dropped to his knees to hunt through the bottom cabinet of pots and pans for his dutch oven. He coated the sides with a generous chunk of softened butter then reached for the bread, tearing off mouthfuls to fill the oven. Kylo used his fingers to flip the linguiça, jolting and nearly burning himself when a small hand pressed low on his back to smooth its way up his spine.

 

“Sorry,” she breathed, her face nudging the dip between his shoulder blades.

 

Kylo smiled helplessly. “Don’t be.”

 

Rey sighed and he could feel the warmth of her mouth through the material of his sweater. Her arms gradually curled around his waist, little palms flattening against his stomach. When he twisted in her embrace to face her, she was gloriously naked.

 

His spend was still smeared into her hip and the sight of it made Kylo want to place her on the countertop and bury his face between her thighs. She’d make a delectable breakfast, he mused, eyeing her tongue as it darted across her lower lip.

 

Rey surged upward just as he ducked forward, meeting his brief, chaste kiss with a soft hum.

 

As much as he adored her blatant nudity, Kylo had to ask, “Aren’t you cold?”

 

She hesitated then, embarrassed as she glanced elsewhere. “I thought—maybe— _you_ could warm me?”

 

Kylo couldn’t stop the low growl from rumbling in his chest as his hands dropped to the swells of her backside.

 

“How should I warm you, kitten?”

 

She sucked in sharply, trembling in his hold.

 

“I—I don’t know,” Rey admitted, flushing brightly as she tipped her chin towards him. Her voice was lower when she continued. “But I want you to touch me again.”

 

“Yeah?” He grinned stupidly. “Where?”

 

He loved how abashed she looked, although her sudden shyness was hardly a deterrent. Without a word, she gripped his right wrist and pulled his hand around the curve of her hip and down her belly.

 

“Here,” she told him, settling his hand over the mound of her sex.

 

Well. He wasn’t going to disappoint her _now_.

 

Kylo brushed a finger through her lower lips, groaning at how slick he found her. Holding her gaze, he lifted the digit to his mouth to suck away the taste of her arousal.

 

Rey blinked up at him, startled and breathless. _“Oh.”_

 

She seemed to get the idea, if the way she was staring at his parted lips was any indication. Gently, he kissed the side of her face, trailing his lips to her ear to whisper.

 

“Go get the blanket from the bed and bring it to the fire. I’ll be right there.”

 

* * *

 

Kylo had scrambled to finish preparing breakfast, slicing linguiça to dump it over the bread, then covering it with a mixture of egg, milk, and cheese.

 

The living room was starting to heat up but the fire still wasn’t hot enough to cook with. Impatient, he threw it in the oven instead, not even willing to wait for it to preheat before shoving the dutch oven to the center.

 

Rey was lying on her side, the blanket stretched out beneath her, waiting.

 

He kneeled at her feet and she exhaled, shivering as she rolled onto her back. Between the glow of the fire and the morning sun sifting through the windows, Rey looked as if she was made of light. Greedy creature that he was, Kylo wanted to devour her whole.

 

Slowly, he pushed her apart at the knees. Rey was glistening with a mess of fresh excitement and her earlier release. Kylo admired a shiny dribble sliding from the bottom of her slit, creating a slick, darkening spot on the white comforter. His fingers remembered the velvet clench of her walls and the memory sent blood surging to his cock.

 

He wondered how it would feel around his prodding tongue.

 

Her tone was hushed when she spoke. “You’re going to put your mouth on me.”

 

It wasn’t meant to be a question but Kylo realized she might not understand the appeal.

 

He almost told her he’d be doing much more than that but instead lurched forward to peck her freckled cheek. “It’ll feel good.”

 

She shuddered as his hips slotted with hers, as painfully aware of his hardening length as he was, and he rocked into the softness at the apex of her thighs once.

 

“Kylo,” she whispered. “I want to feel your skin.”

 

Rey reached for the hem of his sweater at the same moment he did, her stomach molding to his with every inch of skin they exposed. He kicked his sweatpants down his legs, half stumbling on them as his dick glided against her swollen folds, and he groaned, teeth nipping at the petal-pink curve of her lips.

 

She gasped, kissing him back with the same stinging roughness, her tongue flicking into his mouth to taste him.

 

He didn’t linger, ignoring her frustration when he pried his lips away from her to drift down the column of her neck. Her blush had spread across her chest as well, and he paid her reddened skin special attention, carefully mouthing the sensitive, pliant flesh around her nipples. When Kylo dipped his tongue into her bellybutton, she pealed with surprised laughter, her stomach quivering with anticipation.

 

He spread her cunt open, lowering his face to settle between her tensed legs.

 

As he ran his tongue up her center, her laughter became a long moan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who reads and comments! It makes all the difference in the world to me. <3


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long, long time since I updated but at last...another chapter! Please mind the new tags. There is also an explanation in the end note.
> 
> THANK YOU GRLIE-GIRL FOR SUCH QUICK BETA-ING!! <3 <3 You're the best! :)

As he left _Ren’s,_  Kylo informed Mitaka that he wouldn’t be returning for several days. His sole employee had taken the news with the usual timid acceptance. At this point, it was expected.

 

It wasn’t as if Kylo would be much use in the shop and his side business could wait; he didn’t currently have any potion orders and it wasn’t as if he was the only witch in the area with expertise in brewing–though he conceded he _was_ the best.

  
He just wanted to be _home_. Rey was capable of caring for Barghest on her own but he couldn’t help thinking he should be back with them, in the warm, safe seclusion of his little cottage.

  
Kylo did not return to find the house in the same state he had left it in.

  
He blinked at the collapsed tower of books splayed across his bedspread, still set in front of the fireplace. There was a fresh log crackling over the embers, its underbelly glowing orange while the top had yet to catch fire.

 

“Rey?”

  
“Over here,” she called from the kitchen.

  
For all his doting, Kylo knew she wasn’t helpless. Rey was likely more independent than even him, and she was certainly more clever. Months after having found her, she had shaken off the overwhelming animal instincts that had gripped her for so long, and though she would never act fully human–at least, he rather _hoped_ not–she was developing into a woman that could pass as normal.

  
Still. He stood in the kitchen entrance, stunned.

  
Her long, wild hair had been disciplined into a heavy braid that dropped to the backs of her knees and amidst the mess of flour and egg shells, she worked over the counter with determination. Shyly, she glanced back at him from over her shoulder, and he made a small sound at the back of his throat at the smear of flour across her forehead. How dare it look so endearing?

  
“I hoped to finish before you got back,” she mumbled, returning to what was in front of her. “It’s supposed to be a _surprise.”_

  
He smiled, though she couldn’t see it. “I _am_ surprised.”

  
Kylo approached with quiet steps, taking advantage of his height to peer over her head. She had a book propped open against the wall and the counter was dusted with flour to prevent the dough she was kneading from sticking. To his amusement, she had fashioned a sling out of a ratty blanket for Barghest to safely nestle into her chest.

  
“You do too much for me. I hate that I can’t contribute,” she confessed in a small voice.

  
He exhaled through his nose, sweeping her thick braid to one side and exposing the pale back of her neck. Rey shivered as he brushed the faint hairs at her nape with his lips, her hands stilling.

  
“I like being able to provide for you,” he whispered back. “Please don’t feel guilty.”  
Kylo wondered if the desire to protect and indulge her was something strictly male, that even he was susceptible to a frail ego. It was difficult to care when Kylo was awash with warmth every time he succeeded to keep her safe.

  
“You don’t think…” she trailed off, head ducking slightly as if in shame, “...it makes me pathetic?”

  
Gently, he rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms curling around her slender waist.

  
“No, _never,”_ he said.

  
For a solid minute, he held Rey, wondering just what he could have done to deserve someone so...good. Kylo wondered how the universe would decide to even the ledgers once more. He knew well enough that balance was always achieved–whether it was to his benefit or not.

  
Slowly, watching as her deft fingers worked at the bread dough, he slid his hands down her sides until he reached the soft skin of her thighs, below the hem of a large sweatshirt she had scavenged from his dresser drawers. His palms smoothed their way back up, gripping her bare hips beneath his shirt.

  
How easy would it be to just tip her round, little bottom back and ease into her tight warmth from behind?  
Grinning to himself, he pressed his groin into her backside with a light rock.

  
“Kylo,” she breathed, “you’re distracting me.”

  
He hummed, pecking her cheek. “I plan to do more than just _distract_ you.”

  
Her voice was high-pitched and strained. “Oh?”

  
“Mmm,” he latched his lips to the delicate curve where neck meets shoulder, sucking a flushed mark into her skin. She shivered against him, her pelvis tilting to grind back.

  
Kylo trailed a hand up her smooth, taut belly, carefully cupping a breast in the center of his palm, delighted by the way her nipple tightened into a point. He adored how small she felt, how she keened, too sensitive and unused to touch. He squeezed his long fingers and Rey answered with a sharp hiss that stretched into a relieved moan, something warm trickling into his hand.

  
“Um,” Kylo paused.

  
Her sticky, flour-coated fingers clenched around his through the sweatshirt, her breath catching in her throat.

  
“Please, don’t stop.”

  
He swallowed, his gaze drawn to the spreading dark patch seeping through the material of his sweatshirt, his mind utterly blank in shock. She was...lactating. Kylo wasn’t sure how it was possible.

  
Her head slanted back to rest against his chest, a deep sigh causing her to deflate.

  
“When...how…?”

  
Rey snorted at his lack of tact. “Motherly magic, I suppose.”

  
Kylo pondered if perhaps that was true. He smiled at the thought.

  
She didn’t allow him to become distracted by his wonder. With jerking, hurried movements, she dropped the ball of bread dough into a greased bowl, covering it with a thin dish towel and shoving it into the faint warmth of winter sun that peeked through the clouds to bask the yellow kitchen in afternoon light.

  
The sunlight caught her hazel eyes as she whirled on him, flashing green and gold for the split moment before they came crashing together once more, lips colliding with inexplicable urgency. He had to lean down at an awkward angle to prevent his chest crushing the kitten nestled in her makeshift sling and it took only seconds for Kylo’s patience to run thin. He wanted– _needed_ –to feel the small press of her body cradled against his.

  
“Kylo,” she whispered, warm breath puffing into his open mouth. The plea in her tone said it all; Rey had no need to put words to what she desired.

  
He carefully untied the sling that carried Barghest, swaddling the slumbering kitten as he swiftly returned to the living room to place the tiny bundle on the blanket near the hearth. When he rushed back to Rey, he realized that the sweatshirt hadn’t soaked up everything; a trickle of thin, white liquid dripped down her willowy leg and unbidden hunger blazed in his loins. Without a thought, he dropped to his knees before her to lave at the taunting, little stream with the flat of his tongue.

  
It was vibrant and sweet. Mildly creamy.

  
The pleasant turning in his gut demanded _more_.

  
He followed the trail upwards with a keen sense of determination, his tongue flicking out to tease the hot flesh of her sex as he moved towards her flat belly. Her chest burst with a broken moan, the muscles of her thighs clenching deliciously in expectancy.

  
“Keep still, kitten,” he murmured, pushing the sweatshirt up over her full breasts.

  
She _mewled_ back at him and Kylo was suddenly aware of how tight his jeans were. There was a high chance he’d blow his load without her so much as _looking_ at his dick but he was too enraptured by her flavor to care.

  
He tongued at the plush underside of her left breast, lapping up the last of the milk he had squeezed from her with relish.

  
Finally, Kylo closed his mouth around her ruddy, swollen nipple. In an instant, Rey buried a small hand into his hair, firmly holding him in place with her nails digging into his scalp, even as her knees staggered.

  
“Don’t leave a drop,” she whimpered.

  
He gripped her hips, lifting her onto the counter with ease, and her legs circled his waist to bring them closer still. If she was bothered by the flour now clinging to her round backside, she certainly didn’t make her complaints known.

  
Kylo looked up at her flushed face and wild, wide eyes with self-satisfaction, giving a sharp suckle, his mouth filling with warm, honeyed milk. There _had_ to be a magic to how decadent she tasted, to the life-giving elixir that gushed onto his tongue and down his throat. He used his tongue to crush the pliant swell of her breast against the roof of his mouth, swallowing until she was emptied.

  
Rey didn’t order him to relieve the bludgeoning pressure in her right breast with words, she directed him with a tug of his hair, slender fingers tangled in black waves. She tugged him towards her straining nipple, fingers going slack only once he started to suck.

  
It was oddly comforting, the way she combed through his hair as he fed. Her milk was warm in his stomach, his frenzied need easing as that warmth flowed down his limbs, and with his face burrowed in her soft chest, Kylo felt overwhelmingly safe. Safe and loved.

  
Rey hadn’t said it back but in that moment, she didn’t have to.

  
She began to hum a tune he didn’t recognize, her voice gentle and sweet over the light smacking noises of his suckling.

  
“You must have been the prettiest baby,” she crooned to him.

 

Kylo tried not to smile. His mother had often teased him as a child, claiming he came out of her looking like a shrieking potato. Considering his prominent features, he had never doubted it.

  
Rey craned her neck down to nuzzle the crown of his head, taking deep breaths of his scent.

  
“I was an awkward, ugly child,” he mumbled, grunting when she yanked him back onto her breast.

  
“You’re not done yet,” she chided, groaning as he answered with a rough swallow. The mothering tone she used shouldn’t have been nearly as arousing as it was.

  
Kylo didn’t pull away again until he had drained her fully, sleepy and content to stay in her arms.

 

* * *

 

He stirred to the rich smell of honey wheat bread baking in the oven and a pleasant weight settling on his lap. If he had to guess, he had only slept for about an hour. Small, nervous hands were fiddling with his belt buckle and Kylo cracked an eye open to find a beautifully naked Rey perched on his thighs.

  
They stared at each other for a long moment until she said, “I want to _be_ with you.”

  
A delighted shiver ran through him.

  
“So,” he whispered, “be with me.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, interesting fact: a cat that hasn't been recently pregnant can begin producing milk if the teats are stimulated enough by a kitten. I tried to leave little hints about the changes in Rey but it still might be a shock.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for your patience! Comments/kudos are appreciated. :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKERS THE SMUT HAS ARRIVED
> 
> If you're not into that...skip this chapter.
> 
> THANK YOU GRLIE-GIRL for being an amazing beta reader (but more importantly, for making me laugh at all your hilarious comments) <3 <3 <3

Rey looked so little, even spread open on his bed. He admired the rise and fall of her chest, the dark, swollen points of her nipples as they tightened in the open air.

 

Kylo’s gaze drifted lower as he kicked off his pants from where they had bunched at his ankles and hooked his thumbs into the elastic of his briefs. Her exposed sex was twitching and shiny with arousal, waiting for his attention and finally, he would give her everything.

 

Logically, he knew she wasn’t utterly inexperienced. But this would be her first time with another _human_ and she deserved the best.

 

For a moment, Kylo wondered if he would be able to make it good for her. It’s been an embarrassing number of years (that he refused to count, even in his head) since the last time he was intimate with a woman; what if he didn’t last?

 

“Kylo,” she whispered, the sheets rustling as she pushed herself up and scooted her backside to the ledge of the bed, where he stood. “Stop thinking so much.”

 

He stared down at her, his lips parting with surprise.

 

“It’s all on your face,” she smiled, offering her hand. It was warm and dry in his. “When you start to overthink, wrinkles form on your forehead and you look too serious.”

 

Rey continued to smile as she coaxed the waistband of his underwear down his muscular thighs. His cock sprung forward, the bulbous head tapping the soft skin of her cheek and narrowly missing her lips by the smallest breadth, and Kylo swore he had never seen such a gorgeous image before in his life.

 

What little blood that was left in his head rushed south in a roar.

 

Holding his gaze, her tongue darted out from the corner of her mouth to tentatively graze his tip with a flash of wet heat. He didn’t have a chance to wonder what she thought of his taste, her head turning slightly to take him between her lips.

 

She didn’t take him deeply, only about an inch of his shaft sinking into her, but her hot tongue glided along the underside before flicking at the sensitive ridge of his frenulum. He hissed through his teeth. It was unbearable to hold himself still, to resist the urge to roll his hips and knock against the back of her throat. But that would be too much for her, and—

 

Panic widened her eyes and she retreated swiftly, releasing his dick with a maddening _pop_.

 

“Are you okay?” she started. “I didn’t mean—”

 

“No!”

 

He’d meant _don’t stop._

 

Her eyebrows drew together in concern, and Kylo floundered. He couldn’t allow her to think _anything_ she was doing was at all painful.

 

“I mean _yes,_ I’m fine, please keep going.”

 

Her lips twisted into a shy, uncertain grin. “It feels that good?”

 

“Yessss—” his teeth clacked together as she licked a long stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, his voice embarrassingly caught on the S.

 

Rey giggled quietly, then sucked him back into the encompassing heat of her perfect mouth until she could go no further. He placed a hand on the crown of her head, gently guiding her in a bobbing motion that had his abdomen clenching with delight.

 

Kylo grunted as she swallowed around him, making an obscene, slurping noise, and his fingers curled into a fist in her hair. His eyes slid shut so he could focus solely on the wet sounds of her mouth and the feeling of being surrounded by _her_. He wanted to lose himself in Rey, to let himself drown.

 

He could feel rather than see when her cheeks hollowed around him and Kylo moaned, hips jolting once.

 

“Fuck!”

 

If she kept that up, he _really_ wasn’t going to last.

 

He peeked down and her reddened lips split into a profane smile, saliva spilling from the corner of her mouth and dribbling down her chin. Like a cat that’s got the cream, his blood-drained mind blearily supplied. Well, not quite yet.

 

 _What a naughty kitten,_ he thought. She was enjoying this new power over him.

 

She actually glared at him when he lifted her away and the sight of her fiery eyes had him laughing.

 

“Kitten,” he murmured, dipping forward to slowly kiss her, his fingers trailing down her belly, “I don’t want to come in your mouth. I want to come…” His hand slipped between her quivering thighs to find her flooded with arousal. Gradually, he pushed two fingers into her.

 

“...right in _here.”_

 

A shiver ran through her and Rey stared at him as if it was her first time seeing him. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth before nodding, her small hands pressing flat against his chest to push him back a step.

 

Rey leisurely turned about to crawl across the bed on all fours, checking over her shoulder every other second to be sure he hadn’t looked away—not that he _could,_ with her rounded, little backside tipped towards him—before arching her back to rest her head against the sheets, her long braid trailing to one side and falling off the edge.

 

He stepped out of his briefs in a sort of daze, unable to tear his gaze away from the tantalizing glisten of arousal dripping down her open thighs.

 

Kylo paused only when the tops of his thighs met the ledge of the bed. “Rey, are you sure you want this?”

 

The look she shot him was drenched in silent outrage. As if to make a point of how badly she wanted it, Rey widened the gap between her legs before canting her hips at a sharper angle and whatever further concern Kylo might have felt was shoved out the proverbial window.

 

“Kylo,” she puffed, sounding especially exasperated, “I’ve never wanted something as much as you’ve made me want you. _Please.”_

 

That breathless _please_ broke him. He scurried onto the bed, his hands finding her hips to pull her close in a rush, anything to feel the give of her supple backside against him faster.

 

Rey rocked back into him, telling him with no room for uncertainty: “Now. I want you _now.”_

 

He had planned to stretch her with his fingers first, to drag at least one orgasm out of her before easing into her tight heat, but it seemed her patience had reached its limit and Kylo wasn’t about to refuse her.

 

Still, he couldn’t help teasing her. He guided the head of his dick, purpling and furious, through her slippery folds and bent forward to groan in her ear over the squelching sounds of her sex. She craned her neck at what must have been a painful angle to gasp into his mouth, her incisors snagging on his lower lip as she gave it a fierce suck.

 

Rey keened around his bottom lip as he entered her with a shallow thrust and _oh,_ it was better than being in her mouth. It was better than _anything_. Maybe even breathing.

 

She clenched around him as he retreated, releasing his swelling lip with a quiet, startled moan as he rolled his hips into her again, slipping deeper. With his next thrust, he filled her completely, his hip bones thumping against her pert bottom. He swayed slightly as he straightened his back to marvel at how their bodies joined, the springy pubic hairs of his groin brushing sensitive skin.

 

Her pussy looked stretched beyond capacity around the base of his cock and she only stroked his ego further as she whimpered.

 

“So...big…”

 

Kylo hummed back at her, knowing she could hear his pleased grin in his tone. “You take me so well, kitten.”

 

She met his next stroke with enough force for their skin to slap and the smile twisted from his face as he grunted. Kylo flattened his palm on her lower back to steady himself, his thumb strumming against the divots at the bottom of her spine; if Rey needed more, he’d happily oblige.

 

Her legs trembled when he fucked her in earnest, her knees skidding on the sheets, and Kylo let her drop to her belly, his biceps bulging to keep him from crushing her. The new angle was tighter, the smacks of his hips meeting her backside growing more pronounced, and he was utterly mesmerized by the sight of his cock plunging in and out of her.

 

“Kylo,” she whined, and when he glanced towards her face she was staring back at him in a pleasure-induced stupor, “I want to see too.”

 

“See…?” he drawled, jerking into her pointedly.

 

Her eyelashes fluttered.

 

“You,” she croaked, “moving inside me.”

 

He decided he was going to tile his walls and the ceiling with mirrors. She wouldn’t be able to look anywhere without seeing them together. Kylo growled at the thought, roughly pulling out to flip her onto her back. She perched herself up on her elbows, fingers clawing into the sheet as he wrenched her legs apart as wide as she could spread.

 

Rey swallowed, her eyes transfixed by the heavy, glistening cock resting between her thighs.

 

She mumbled a quiet, _“Oh,”_ as he guided the dribbling tip of his length into her. She watched him sink into her flesh inch by inch, awed as he bore into her with thinly controlled jolts.

 

“Oh,” she repeated helplessly, slumping back onto the bed as if gravity was too much to bear, her wide eyes following each tumultuous rock of their bodies meeting. “Oh, Kylo…”

 

Rey clenched around him curiously, her eyes darkening as he nearly shouted, dropping his head into the crook of her neck. It took a ridiculous amount of willpower to stave his impending orgasm but Kylo refused to come before she could. Her chest was heaving beneath him, her pants disrupting his hair in warm gusts. She was so close, he could taste it on her skin when he smeared an open-mouthed kiss on her collarbone.

 

Balancing his weight on one arm, he reached between their tangled limbs, blindly stroking the hard, sleek swell of her clit with the rough pad of his thumb.

 

Her pelvis jumped at his touch as she cried out. “Kylo!”

 

 _That’s it._ Just a little bit more—

 

His throat seized around a startled howl when she spasmed on his cock, a rush of hot moisture spilling onto the sheets to create a shiny stain. He pumped into her at a punishing rate that turned her voice shrill, following her over the edge an instant later, his chest hot and tight as a yell ripped through him.

 

Rey trembled under him, her legs tightening in increments around his waist with each warm surge of his come. She refused to release him and Kylo had no choice but to collapse onto her, their bodies remaining connected long after he became flaccid within her and their gasps had eased into a drowsy silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. A Brief Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait...I come bearing the gift of a chapter from Rey's POV!
> 
> Thanks Evelyn, as always, for beta reading this! <3

Rey woke with an ache between her thighs and uncomfortably full breasts, Kylo--her precious witch--snoring like a great, big bear behind her. She settled into his broad chest for a moment before she remembered.

 

_ Gary! _

 

She exhaled with little semblance of calm, closing her eyes as a sharp shiver took her, shrinking her bones and shifting her muscles as fur burst across her skin. Unsurprisingly, the change was not enough to stir Kylo from his cat nap.

 

Rey slipped through his arms and leaped to the floor. She trotted over to the fireplace to find Chewie curled around a small, white mass of fur. Her heart melted when Gary’s face shot up and he offered a high-pitched mewl. Rey didn’t have to guess what he wanted.

 

Chewie promptly stood, flaps of loose skin wobbling and long, flat ears slapping him as his whole body shook. His nails clacked on the hardwood when he darted down the hall and towards the open bedroom door. It was just as well--if Kylo slept all day, he wasn’t going to want to join her in bed tonight. And Rey very much wanted him in their bed, where he belonged.

 

She sank into the blanket and without hesitation, Gary latched onto a teat. Her milk flowed into his suckling mouth and all the anxious tension left her body, replaced by a sense of nurturing ease. It hadn’t taken long to adjust to the strange, pulling sensation of feeding and now it felt  _ right.  _ Natural.

 

Rey arched her neck to brush back his messy tufts of fur with slow swipes of her tongue, a purr vibrating in her chest. Her sweet kitten was a bit of a slob but regardless, she loved him. Just as she loved Kylo, she was slowly realizing.

 

In all her life, Rey had never felt so full of love. She couldn’t remember her parents or whether or not they had cared about her. How could they have, if they had felt comfortable leaving her with an odious witch like Plutt? As she watched Gary drowsily drink, it no longer felt relevant. Her life was so completely altered that comparing it to her years as Plutt’s pitiful apprentice was meaningless.

 

As if summoned by her thoughts, Kylo padded into the room stark naked. Not that it bothered her. Quite the opposite, in fact. She eyed his cock, dangling limply between muscular thighs. 

 

“I’ve got to stop sleeping in the day so much,” he said, muffling an elongated yawn. “I’ll be up all night.”

 

_ Good,  _ she answered, the thought tumbling into his mind.

 

Kylo barked a sleep-roughened laugh.

 

“Minx,” he accused with a smile.

 

She preened as he coiled his much larger body around her and Gary, a wide palm resting on her side. He pecked a light kiss between her ears, his sigh tickling the fine hairs around them. This felt  _ right,  _ too.

 

Rey almost asked if he found her attractive in this form as well, but something—the cat in her, she thought wryly—caught her tongue. It was a subject she would consider when he next left for the shop. 

 

She pitied his sole employee for Kylo’s obvious disinterest in  _ Ren’s.  _ Perhaps...in time, she could learn how to help. A purr rumbled in her chest at the idea and Kylo chuckled lowly to himself, undoubtedly assuming his gentle petting had inspired it. Rey let him.

 

He might have had a point, she needed a teacher. It was time she regained some of her independence. As much as Rey appreciated his thoughtful care, she was used to doing things on her own. The urge to  _ do  _ something crawled under her skin like a shiver.

 

Being Kylo’s apprentice would be different. He was a good witch, despite his rebellious leanings. Kylo was nothing like her previous  _ teacher.  _

 

She was brought out of her reverie when Gary detached with a smacking, milk spattered mouth. Rey helped him clean his face with mild amusement, smoothing his fur back with her tongue until he lazily stumbled away to crawl over the folds in the thick comforter. 

 

With a trembling stretch, she shifted back, breasts still heavy with milk. Rey huffed, gently cupping her left breast.

 

“I think I’m lactating more than Gary can--”

 

Kylo didn’t have to hear anything more to know what she was inadvertently asking of him, promptly sitting to tug her onto his lap, her thighs squeezing his waist as his mouth wrapped around a bright pink nipple. His large, warm hands clenching her backside to bring her closer still. It seemed his need was as frantic as her own and the sensation of releasing pressure was enough to send a jolt of pleasure to her lower belly.

 

She moaned, arching her back to press her chest into his face. 

 

“Kylo,  _ please,”  _ Rey begged without knowing what it was she asking for.

 

Long fingers slipped between her bottom cheeks to tease heated, slickening folds, toying with the hard point that kept her groaning as he suckled. She could only rest in the cradle of his body and take it, her hips rocking into his stiff cock. 

 

“I’ve got you, kitten,” he murmured around her nipple before giving a particularly rough suck.

 

She tugged the hair at the nape of his neck as a reprimand. “Be good.”

 

He chuckled, mouth buzzing on the pliant flesh of her breast, carefully nipping his way across her chest to lap at her other nipple with slow swipes of his hot tongue.

 

Kylo removed the hand between her thighs to reach around and angle the bulbous head of his length along her weeping slit, moving forward and back until she was on the verge of screaming at him.

 

“I’ll be so good to you,” he promised,  _ finally  _ pushing his way into her.

 

Rey nearly deflated with pleasure, her head tipping back. She was inclined to believe him.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Feedback is always appreciated. :)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn, thank you again for your suggestions!! They made me feel so much better about posting this chapter <3

Rey cranked the handle of the shiny meat grinder Kylo had brought home for her, long strands of raw chicken and the wild rabbit she had caught snooping in the garden falling into a stainless steel bowl. Gary watched on with rapt fascination, sitting on the kitchen counter in the same way she once had while he cooked. It was bittersweet;  he knew she missed the connection of feeding time but eventually Gary had to be weaned. Kylo had suggested getting canned food for the sake of time but she had insisted with a glare,  _ I need to know what’s going into his body.  _

 

It interrupted her studies and considering how long ago she had left her apprenticeship with Plutt, there was a lot of information that needed to be covered. Kylo was nothing if determined to give her a rich education, though, sprinkling history into the applied lessons. She deserved to know her past, and though she had less interest in those interludes but listened all the same.

 

He was proud to say she was a natural, especially at transporting. It had been amusing to watch her flit about the garden and into different rooms once she had grasped the concept of slipping through space and time; it was a bit like watching a cat leap for its prey, the graceful way she moved. After a week, however, he had teasingly scolded her for such a frivolous use of magic. Of course, if she wanted to use it for catching the rabbits that dug into his herb garden like a leafy table spread, he had no reason to complain.

 

There was a solid knock on the door and Rey jolted, startled out of her concentration. Kylo squeezed her shoulders in silent reassurance, hiding his frown. He didn’t get visitors often and Phasma had stopped by only a week ago, he doubted she would be back again so soon.

 

With mild trepidation, he answered it.

 

It took great restraint to not slam the door closed at finding his mother and her irritating assistant on the other side.

 

She promptly held out a lavender-grey envelope, sealed with a white wax she mixed rosemary blooms into. He knew what it was for and didn’t immediately reach to accept it.

 

“You couldn’t have called?” he asked.

 

“Are you going to invite me in?” she countered, lowering her hand, still gripping the invitation.

 

He almost said no. Then he remembered his flighty neighbors and the stares they would give if he held a vocal altercation with his mother on the front step. Clenching his jaw, he stepped aside.

 

Bewildered, Rey peeked out from the kitchen, pausing at their guest before stepping out to stand beside him. From the corner of his eye, he watched her wipe bits of ground rabbit off on her apron. He smiled privately as his mother assessed Rey’s rather domestic look, wondering if she would dare to comment.

 

Poe made a low whistle, grinning as he leaned into the doorway. “That’s a cute look on you, little witch.”

 

Rey paused, flustered by the unwanted remark, her apron slipping through her slackened fingers. “Wha--”

 

“Watch it,” Kylo snapped, “or you’ll find yourself without eyes to watch  _ with.” _

 

Leia slipped past them and made her way to  _ Rey’s  _ new chair, situated comfortably by a low fire. In the afternoons they poured over the books from his library, easy silence between them...at least until she grew bored and decided to take her energy out by riding him into his leather chair.

 

Kylo stood across from his mother, ignoring her insistence that he be seated.

 

Before he could think of something snarky to say, Rey spoke. “I think we all know why you’re here.”

 

His mother looked a bit  _ too  _ pleased by her frankness. Kylo wasn’t entirely surprised.

 

“Do you, now?”

 

“I haven’t changed my mind, mother,” he grumbled. “I won’t go.”

 

_ “Kylo,”  _ Rey enunciated. He knew well how she felt on the matter–that she shouldn’t be a reason to stay behind. The guilt she felt was unnecessary; he would have refused the invitation even if she hadn’t come into his life.

 

“This isn’t just about your father,” Leia sighed. “I won’t force you to visit him but you’re my only child. I want my son to be there when I make my announcement.”

 

“You don’t need me there,” he said. “Just get it over with and give your little announcement now.”

 

His mother smiled. 

 

“No dice, Ben.” He  _ hated  _ when she said that, using the same crooked grin his father would when he had said it. “For once, I want my family to all be there--even your Grandma Paddy’s ghost agreed to haunt us for the occasion, and believe me, she’s a lot harder to track down than you are. Don’t give me excuses.”

 

“The Council--”

 

“--won’t be able to tell Rey apart from any other witch, once she’s properly dressed. I would suggest taking her to see the Tico sisters, by the way. Their winter line is absolutely stunning.”

 

“There’s no way I would  _ ever  _ bring Rey to--”

 

In the same moment, Rey whispered, “I would get to wear a dress? A fancy one?”

 

His mother’s smile widened as if she had won a war.

 

* * *

 

_ Tico Boutique  _ was just as pale pink and floral as he remembered. He stood outside for a long few moments, Rey’s hand clutched in his. She clenched his fingers slightly to get his attention and when he turned to her, her lips were spread into a nervous grin. This was an introduction to a world she knew nothing about and he had gladly left behind. Regardless, he was weak against the anxious excitement that shined in her hazel eyes.

 

Kylo steeled himself, pushing through the door with Rey at his side. There was an electrical bell that sounded at their entrance and with it a short Vietnamese woman emerged from a back room with a bubbly smile that wavered once she realized who her customer was.

 

“Ben,” she greeted sharply. “What a surprise.”

 

“I changed my name to Kylo,” he reminded her, knowing very well she wouldn’t call him that, “Rose.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“This is Rey,” he said, directing her attention away from him. “She needs something formal for my mother’s soirée.”

 

“I’m shocked you have the balls to go.”

 

Kylo had nothing clever to reply with and Rose didn’t wait for him to answer.

 

“Very well. Rey, if you could come with me.”

 

Rey was delighted as she stepped into a changing room with a velvet  rosé curtain. He took a seat on a cushioned bench and Rose glanced back at him as if she was planning to reupholster the seat once he stood up. 

 

Though he couldn’t hear the conversation, Rey and Rose had reverted to giggles behind the curtain so he could only assume it was going well. Rose stepped out to retrieve something from the storage room.

 

When Rey emerged a few minutes later, she was fitted in a floor-length gown dripping with sequins that flowed from a deep maroon to black. She spun for him at Rose’s insistence and the dress danced around her calves, clinging to her thighs deliciously, Rey’s braid twirling in the air with her. It was stunningly gorgeous yet–

 

“It’s a bit  _ slinky,  _ isn’t it?”

 

Kylo agreed. “You look like the queen of Death.”

 

She laughed, taking another spin. “I do, don’t I?”

 

As beautiful as she looked, “You should try something else,” he said.

 

Rey chewed on her lip, turning back to Rose. “Can I?”

 

Rose’s expression morphed with obvious confusion; the answer was  _ of course,  _ naturally, but Kylo suspected this was the first time Rey had ever been shopping for new clothes. He doubted Plutt had put the energy into making sure his apprentice was well dressed, but that was in the past now.

 

“Come with me,” Rose said. “Let’s see if we can find something more suitable.”

 

Kylo pursed his lips to hide his amusement when he overheard Rey’s answer: “I want to look like a princess.”

 

Apparently, Rose took the request a little too literally because when Rey slipped out from the changing room once more, she was wearing a pink, peony-patterned ballroom gown with skirts so wide they flared from her three feet in every direction. She smoothed her hands over her hips in an attempt to control the skirts to no avail. While she certainly looked like a princess, it was clearly too much for her.

 

“Try again,” he told Rose before Rey could spin about to show off the back of the gown. “She looks like a pink marshmallow.”

 

Rey shot him a thankful look as she returned to Rose, relieved that the gown would soon be off.

 

Finally, she emerged in fine, ice-blue lace, thin layers of tulle flowing down her gown and wrapping around her bodice to expose pale shoulders. Kylo stood, crossing the shop to meet her. She took his hand when he offered it and laughed as he raised it over her head and spun her himself, admiring how the fabric danced around her slender legs. The tulle pulled together into a large bow between her shoulder blades and Kylo dipped down to kiss the skin above it.

 

“Do you like it?” he asked, letting their arms fall.

 

“Very much,” she whispered back. “I’ve never worn something so pretty.”

 

“We’ll take it,” he said as Rose approached the register.

 

“Since it is such a formal event, will you be needing a conica as well?” Rose gestured to the wall of wide-brimmed, pointed hats behind her, all twined with lace and ribbons, dripping with precious stones.

 

Kylo considered the conicas before admiring Rey’s hair. “No,” he answered at length, “I think we’ll be going with something a bit more traditional than that.”

 

Back before the conica became iconic, before witches were feared, they were recognized by their hair, wild and free and weaved with blossoms. That seemed more fitting for Rey, a product of old magic, than a tradition created by newer generations.

 

“Wait, Rose!” A voice called from the back room, a mildly distressed Paige Tico emerging with a set of blue satin dancing slippers clutched to her chest. “That gown comes with shoes!”

 

Kylo eyed the slippers with some hesitation. He hadn’t thought about shoes but he remembered going into his mother’s closet as a boy and a whole wall being dedicated to such slippers, all in varying stages of disrepair from events he hadn’t been welcome at.

 

“I doubt we’ll be dancing,” he grumbled. “Wouldn’t heels be more in-fashion now?”

 

Though he wasn’t sure that Rey would be able to do much more than stumble in the four-inch pumps women tended to wear to formal events nowadays.

 

Paige tossed her hair over her shoulder, nearly losing her measuring tape in the process. “Don’t argue with me,  _ Ben Solo,”  _ she said with a sneer. “Between us, I’m the designer and I say what is or isn’t in. You’re getting the shoes.”

 

He exhaled slowly, realizing this wasn’t an argument he could win. The Tico sisters always  _ had  _ had a way with words and if the way Rey was admiring the slippers was any indication, it was a pointless battle to wage.

 

Rose rang up the total and Kylo paid with a swipe of a sleek, black card--having such an extended lifespan made it easier to save up, never mind his mother’s affluent background. Rey changed into her clothes and with the gown carefully wrapped in a hanging bag, they stepped out from the boutique and under cloud cover.  

 

“Take us home?” he asked her; Rey could use the practice, after all.

 

“Always,” she replied with an easy grin, lacing her fingers through his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little fun fact: I couldn't find a name for the archetypal witch hat in my research but the Latin name for the witch hat mushroom is Hygrocybe Conica...which is where I got it from. I thought it sounded better than just "witch hat."
> 
> Thanks for reading! Your comments/kudos mean the world. <3
> 
> [This is Rey's dress](https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-Fantasy-Long-Tulle-Ice-A-Line-Evening-Dresses-Backless-Gowns-Light-Sky-Blue-Cap-Sleeve/32457084661.html)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for being so patient! And thank you Evelyn for always boosting my confidence in this fic! 

His mother’s home was just as ostentatious as he remembered it to be. It was situated atop a hill, with a large landing above the entrance held up by glistening, white columns. Rey paused for a long moment at the bottom of the pathway leading up to the four-story house, taken aback by the grandeur. 

 

Kylo placed his hand on the small of her back, rubbing his thumb in what he hoped was a soothing gesture.

 

“You...your family is pretty rich, isn’t it?” she asked in a low voice.

 

“My mother is,” he answered. Kylo was well-off but he wouldn’t consider himself wealthy, per se.

 

She huffed back at him. “That’s something a rich person would say.”

 

“Does it matter?” he wondered aloud.

 

Rey shook her head, straightening her back and taking a step towards the house. “No, I suppose not.”

 

There was something she wasn’t saying and Kylo knew it, but this was hardly the time or place to ask what was bothering her. He’d wait until they returned home, when they could wrap themselves around each other in the hushed calm of their cottage. He would peel away her gown--gorgeous as she looked in it--and crush whatever insecurity plagued her with the weight of his body.

 

To his surprise, his mother’s old gollum, Cee-threepio, was there to answer the door and accept the invitation Kylo grudgingly offered up with his usual cordiality.

 

“Master Ben, what a pleasure it is to welcome you home!”

 

Kylo grimaced. Cee-threepio had always seemed...half-baked. As a boy, he had alternated between pranking and avoiding the gollum at all cost. Now, he could only feel annoyed that his mother still had the thing laying about. Surely he was too old to be of much use besides satisfying some sense of sentimentality his mother felt. Too many of his clay limbs had crumbled and been replaced for Cee-threepio to be considered his original self.

 

“I’m sure,” he grumbled, guiding Rey into the spacious foyer. “Where is my mother? I want to get this over with.”

 

“What nonsense!” Cee-threepio replied. “Lady Organa has yet to emerge from the upstairs. Everyone is meant to enjoy the festivities until she is ready, please proceed to the large hall for  hors d'oeuvres .”

 

What a pointless conversation. Well, fine. At least he would get to watch Rey try all the delights of his mother’s pocketbook could afford. There was no doubt that whatever his mother was serving would be more decadent than what he cooked.

 

Rey leaned into him, glancing around at their lavish, white surroundings. He supposed it must have been difficult to imagine him living here when comparing it to their quaint house. He followed her gaze up a set of winding stairs, remembering how often he was scolded as a boy for running up them. That had been before his apprenticeship with Uncle Luke. Before little Ben had begun to realize the extent of his abilities and the consequences that came with them. He had tracked mud up and down those steps, chasing the family dog as little boys were wont to do.

 

Kylo squeezed the hand resting on her hip, drawing her gaze back to him.

 

“You’re safe with me,” he reminded her.

 

Rey smiled nervously back at him. “I know.”

 

…

 

His mother instantly gathered the attention of the whole room when she entered it, besides from Rey, whose eye was steadfastly fixed on the banquet-sized table that threatened to topple under the weight of all the food it carried. Kylo smiled to himself, taking her glass of wine so she could bring back little plates for the both of them. She was across the room and honing in on a platter of bacon-wrapped shrimp in a matter of seconds, regardless of the crowd.

 

Not even a party of witches or a fancy gown could change Rey, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Leia made a short welcoming statement for the crowd before she was joined by a familiar face. Kylo would recognize those pale, lavender curls anywhere; Amilyn Holdo, his mother’s greatest and oldest friend and fellow council member, offered Leia her arm. They looked stunning together, his mother’s white gown contrasting with the dark gray of Amilyn’s.

 

Conversations resumed and with a grace he hadn’t inherited, his mother approached with Amilyn in tow. He should have known she would seek him out before mingling with the rest of her guests, if only to lord her victory over him. Kylo straightened his back, wishing Rey would hurry back.

 

“You came!” she said, pulling her arm from Amilyn’s to pull him into an unexpected embrace. With their considerable height difference, he could do little more than bend over to make it a little easier on her in the hopes it would end sooner.

 

He exhaled, reminding himself to be patient. Causing a scene would only bring Rey into the crosshairs and she didn’t need the attention of what had to be at least two-hundred witches. As safe as Kylo liked to think she was with him, that was only so long as her identity as a therian was kept safely underwraps.

 

“I said I would,” he replied evenly. “I may be a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them.”

 

“Oh, don’t be like that, Ben,” his mother chided, releasing him from her hold. “There’s no need to be a stick in the mud. This is a party, loosen up for once and enjoy yourself.”

 

“Right.”

 

What he didn’t notice somewhere behind him was Rey being cornered at the food table, the meaty hand of a large, blubbery man wrapping around her slender arm.

 

It wasn’t until Amilyn asked, “Where’s Rey? I’ve been dying to meet her--” that Kylo realized she had been gone for much too long. When he spun about to look towards the crowded table laden with hors d'oeuvres, she was nowhere in sight.

 

Instantly, Kylo sensed something was very, very wrong. She wouldn’t have gone off on her own, uncomfortable as she was around these affluent witches; had someone discovered she was a Therian? Was she being hauled away even now, as he stood dumbly in panicked silence?

 

A frantic voice ripped into his mind, shrieking,  _ Kylo! _

 

…

 

Kylo didn’t have it in him to care if he created a scene that would unduly embarrass his mother or somehow tarnish her image more than he already had. Ignoring her protests, he broke into a run, dodging people and knocking shoulders. 

 

She wasn’t in the hall, he quickly learned. Nor was she in any of the house’s bathrooms, nor the quiet parlor, nor the bustling kitchen, where another course was being prepared. He returned to the hall and edged around the room, following the floor-to-ceiling window wall that allowed a view of the well-groomed garden. Beyond the french doors that led outside, a single, blue slipper with a torn ribbon sat just within reach of the light from indoors.

 

Kylo rushed into the garden, stumbling in the dark when his foot caught on thin, slippery material rather than dead grass. With a frown, he stooped down to realize it was the ice blue gown Rey had loved so much. The gown she had happily twirled about in as they practiced dancing in their bare feet at home.

 

“Shit,” he breathed.

 

He should have known by the way she had cried out to him in his mind, but evidently she had transformed into a cat. Kylo swallowed, glancing over his shoulder to the party roaring only a few, scant feet away.

 

She couldn’t have gotten too far or he would never have heard Rey calling his name with such desperation, but Kylo knew it would only waste precious time if he continued fumbling in the dark.

 

He closed his eyes and focused on the energy surrounding him and within him, imagining a pinprick of bright light, a distant star within his own mind. Slowly, that star approached as he honed in on it, growing greater and greater until it was as if he was standing before his own, personal sun. The light was unbearable, searing his shut eyes as he pulled it into himself.

 

Finally, he opened his eyes to utter:

 

_ “Illustrent semita.” _

 

The darkness receded. It wasn’t as bright as true day, but as the spell seared his retinas, he saw enough to instantly spot the pudgy man crouched next to an imposing hedge, his arm stretching underneath. There was no doubt that was where Rey was currently hiding, far from anyone’s reach, just as there was no doubt in his mind as to who the man  _ was.  _

 

Kylo didn’t hesitate. He stormed across the yard and grappled the wrinkled collar of the man’s ill fitting white shirt, yanking him hard enough to collapse in the prickly grass. He looked roughly like a blobfish squeezed into a makeshift waiter’s uniform. Kylo had no idea how he had been able to get past Cee-Threepio in his grubby disguise.

 

“Plutt, I presume,” he greeted with a sneer. 

 

Kylo crooked his pointer finger upward, forcing him to his feet with a single, simple motion. Plutt truly wasn’t that powerful if he could manipulate him with such ease, though Kylo was hardly surprised. Only a pitiful, weak witch would manipulate and torture a  _ child  _ to make themselves feel powerful. 

 

He would pay for that now.

 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t offer you up to Death like a pig to slaughter,” Kylo snarled. 

 

Rey scurried out from under the hedge, shivering and her paws coated with mud, but otherwise unharmed as far as he could tell.

 

Plutt’s dark, beady eyes followed her, struggling against his binding magic. 

 

“Necromancy is illegal. As is separating an apprentice from her master,  _ Kylo Ren.”  _ Plutt paused to chuckle. “Oh, yes, I know just who you are, and what you’ve done. And I know your mommy had to swoop in and save your sorry ass after you raised hell.”

 

“So is turning your apprentice into a therian against her will,” he seethed back, clenching his fist just to see how Plutt’s eyes bugged out. “Once Rey left you, her apprenticeship ended. It is  _ you  _ that is attempting to separate my apprentice from her master, and it is a crime I will neither forgive, nor allow to go unpunished. You should have stayed in your grimy, little hole rather than dare to face me, you insignificant--”

 

“Wait,” Rey interrupted. “He’s  _ mine  _ to punish.”

 

She had transitioned back into her human form, uncaring of her nudity and her hair tangled and wild. Kylo felt his throat tighten as he noticed the blooming, violet marks curled around her bicep. 

 

“You don’t have to do this, Rey,” he said.

 

“He is the one that made every moment of my life excruciating up until the moment I met you,” she murmured. “I need to do this.”

 

Kylo released the bumbling pig from his grip and Plutt collapsed on deadened grass, clutching his thick neck as he gasped for air. Rey didn’t give him very long to recover, smoothly striding forward, and with a flick of her hand, Plutt rose from the ground once more. He hadn’t noticed the long, curling claws at the tips of her fingers until she raised her hand to shove Plutt against the hedge.

 

Well. It seemed she picked up much more than what he had taught in their lessons. Pride burst in his chest at how powerful--and deliciously dangerous--she looked, her hair swaying against the backs of her thighs.

 

Confident that he was fully bound with her magic, Rey approached the quivering man to wrap her deceptively dainty fingers around Plutt’s throat, her claws digging deeply enough to just break the skin. At last, Plutt seemed properly terrified.

 

“I took you in and treated you as my own,” he pleaded. “I fed and clothed you! I tried to teach you everything--”

 

“Shut up,” Rey cut in. “We both know none of that is true.”

 

Her fingers squeezed tighter in warning, trickles of blood soaking into the white collar of his shirt.

 

“I should kill you,” she told him. 

 

At length, Rey sighed, her shoulders dropping. “But if I’m honest, you’re not worth the energy. Leave,” she said, retracting her claws and stepping back. “I don’t ever want to see your face again. If I do...I won’t stop Kylo from doing what he will with you next time.”

 

She didn’t watch as Plutt scrambled away and promptly disappeared, instead reaching for Kylo with a look of exhausted defeat. He gathered her into his arms and held her close, trying to chase away every lingering memory with the warmth of his embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are approaching the end of this fic (hopefully within the next 7 chapters) and I can’t express how thankful I am to those of you who have stuck around despite my sporadic updates. It means so much to me!
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> To clarify, therianthropy is the ability of a human to transform into an animal. The most well-known/common type of therian is a werewolf, but there are myths of humans able to change into cats (called ailuranthropy). For the sake of this fic, however, I will be using the more generic term.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated. :)


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